TVSquad

Welcome to TV Squad Lists (formerly 'The Five'), a feature where each blogger has a chance to list his or her own rundown of things in television that stand out from the rest, both good and bad.

Being newly single, I've been spending a lot of time these days thinking about the perfect woman. More often than not, my thoughts end up drifting into the realm of television and all of the perfect women there. So I decided to compile a list of the ten hottest moms on television. Unfortunately, there were way too many to fit on a top ten list, so I expanded the list to fifteen. This was a tough list to compile and I'm sure many of your favorites are absent, but I doubt that anyone can refute the fifteen below.

Susan Mayer - Desperate Housewives (Teri Hatcher) Hatcher has always been smoking hot but it wasn't until Desperate Housewives that she became a TV mom. The best part of her character is how Susan is continually clumsy, awkward and unsure of herself and still manages to be hot.

When I first heard about the Pillow Fight League, a team of women in very little clothing who engage in pillow fights, I immediately thought of that line from The Simpsons when the family is at an auto race and the announcer says, "And now, something for the guys!" to which Homer replies, "Finally!"

So, if you're like Homer and think there just aren't enough chances to see scantily-clad women on television, start praying to the God of TV Lust that the Pillow Fight League makes it to television.

According to Monsters and Critics, singer, video vixen and popular MySpace personality Tila Tequila (real name Tila Nguyen) may soon have her own series on VH1. Nguyen says she plans to "push the envelope," with her new series, which, based on her YouTube videos, I assume means she'll be half-dressed through most of the show to distract people from her singing. There are no real details on the series just yet, and no official word when or if it will debut.

VIP Passport, a new late night series that kicks off November 3 in select markets features a group of folks from various reality series flying to some of the hottest night spots around the globe and having the time of their lives while kicking back with famous photographers, artists, designers, musicians, and whatever vapid hair-gelled meat puppets the producers decide to throw into the mix. Bored viewers who tune into the show will also be given the chance to win a new car every week, details of which can be found on the show's site, which will launch later this week along with a schedule and channel listing. The idea for the series came to the three producers, Larsen, Julien Lecomte and Dax Lugo while watching old videos of past parties at Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion. I think the point that may have escaped them is that they were actually in the Playboy Mansion at the time, which, you know, may have added to the enjoyment just a little bit.

Wow, like this wasn't ever going to happen.

Model/reality show star/hotel heiress/"actress" Paris Hilton was arrested early this morning in Hollywood and charged with DUI. Police officers noticed that Hilton was driving erratically and pulled her over at 12:30am.

My favorite part: her spokesman Elliott Mintz says that she "didn't appear intoxicated" and had "only" the legal limit to be considered intoxicated. Oh, that makes it OK then.

The story is a bit misleading in one aspect. It says that she was picked up by "sister Nicky Hilton, boyfriend Kevin Connolly, and Mintz." I'm pretty sure that Connolly (from Entourage) is Nicky Hilton's boyfriend, no? The way it's worded makes it sound like he's Paris' other half.

Drunk driving. It's so hot.

For today's episode of The Five we're going to wade into somewhat shallow waters and salute those smokin' cartoon females. They've impressed us over the years with their problem-solving skills, their keen intellect, their well-proportioned bodies, and their ability to shapeshift into rocketships, slide through keyholes, and take a piano to the head. Here we go:

Velma (Scooby-Doo): You thought I was going to say Daphne, didn't you? I won't deny Daphne is a hottie, but she's more than a little vacuous. Velma, on the other hand, has substance, and I wouldn't mind having her in my corner when crooked real estate developers start lurking around and trying to scare us. And heck, even that huge frumpy sweater can't hide the fact that she's rockin' some pretty righteous melons under there. I would also like to point out that "righteous melons" is an appropriate and acceptable medical term ... in my head.