TVSquad

• At 6am, TCM starts a marathon of Katharine Hepburn movies.
• At 7, History Channel has a marathon of Ax Men.
• At 9, USA has a Starter Wife marathon.
• Also at 9, Sci-Fi has a marathon of monster movies, including Carnosaur, Reptilian, Beneath Loch Ness, Eye of the Beast, King of the Lost World, and Black Swarm.
• At 10, Bravo has a Shear Genius marathon.
• At 11, History Channel has a bunch of Ice Road Truckers episodes.
• At 11:30, Discovery Kids has a marathon of Flight 29 Down episodes.
• At 2pm, Spike has a CSI marathon.

(S11E05) When this episode began, I figured eventually there would be some explanation as to why it is we color Easter eggs and why a rabbit hides them, some kind of explanation of these traditions and their pagan roots. However, by the end I was glad the story went where it did, because this was both the "worst" episode of South Park this season, and incredibly funny. I say "worst" because of all the horrible gags, like "The Hare Club for Men," and William Donahue's "double cross" that had me simultaneously cracking up and saying, "my god, that was a terrible joke."

(S18E09)

Homer: Why did you let that loser into our home?

Marge: I'll tell you why: Christian charity.

Homer: "Christian Charity?" What does a porn star have to do with this?

I was impressed with the overall holiday motif of this episode, especially the altered opening with snow, Christmas decor and Bart riding a snowboard (across dry pavement, even) rather than his usual skateboard.

A Charlie Brown Christmas will always be about eight billion light years above all other holiday specials in my mind, but that's not to say I don't enjoy those other old standards that pop up on TV this time of year. How the Grinch Stole Christmas remains one of my favorites: a perfect blend of all things Seussian and Jonesian.

To be honest, from a visual standpoint How the Grinch Stole Christmas is pretty much a Chuck Jones special. The only characters who really resemble Dr. Seuss' graphic style are The Whos, and even the precocious Cindy Lou Who (who was no more than two) is given the doe eyes and adorable but dopey face that made Jones' characters instantly recognizable. Jones did much the same thing when he took over the Tom and Jerry shorts for MGM which were originated by William Hanna and Joe Barbera: he redesigned the characters and made it his own thing.

Christmas isn't just about hanging stockings, decorating the tree, buying presents, burning the Yule log and cleaning the vomit off your roof from airsick reindeer. Sometimes it's about shooting your wife and son in the face and sawing through your son's skull, or so animator David Firth imagines in this graphic animated Christmas card (extreme cartoon violence, so be warned). This was supposed to appear on the BBC Four program Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe, but Brooker rejected it. Firth has apparently made animated shorts for the series before, but this one wasn't family-friendly enough according to Brooker. Like Firth says, more people will probably see it on the Web, anyway. I figured I'd help that along and mention it here, because it really is quite funny if you have a twisted sense of humor.

[via Cold, Hard Flash]

• At 8, FOX has a new Cops, followed by a repeat episode, then a new America's Most Wanted.
• ABC has Holidaze: The Christmas That Almost Didn't Happen at 8, followed by Jim Carrey in How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
• Food Network has a repeat Emeril Live where he creates a "Christmas Holiday Party," followed by the Nigella Bites Christmas Special and A Barefoot Contessa Holiday.
• There are two new eps of Little People, Big World on TLC, starting at 8.
• At 9, CBS has a new, two-hour 48 Hours Mystery.
• Discovery has a special Holiday Mythbusters at 9.
• Lifetime has Holiday Affair at 9.
• At 10, TLC has the special Crazy Christmas Lights.
• At 11, FOX has a new Mad TV, followed by a new Talk Show With Spike Feresten.
• NBC has a new Saturday Night Live at 11:30, with Annette Bening and Gwen Stefani.

This holiday episode of Everybody Hates Chris will air on Monday, December 11 at 8 pm, but here's a little taste of what to expect. I'll have a more-detailed review up after the show airs.

It's Christmas in Brooklyn, and Chris has discovered the joy of the season, and more specifically, the joy of putting items on layaway. Over time he's been slowly paying for gifts for his family, but when he gets sick, he worries he won't be able to keep working and have the gifts paid off before Christmas. His father, who takes a job playing Santa at a department store (narrator Chris Rock points out it's more than a little odd that a black man is playing Santa Claus at a department store called "Goldsteins") gets Chris a job taking pictures of the kids. Julius, always concerned about money, tells all the kids the presents they want are too expensive.

The "Kris" in the episode title refers to guest star Richard Lewis, but I don't want to go into too much detail and ruin the episode. I will say, however, that Lewis turns in a great performance. He alone makes the episode worth watching.

Reader James left this link on a previous post of mine, a clip from A Charlie Brown Christmas overdubbed with a song by heavy metal band Tourniquet. Sorry, I don't listen to a lot of metal, so I couldn't tell you the name of the song, but I'm sure one of you will tell me in the comments. I usually break out my Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack album around this time of year, but maybe I should download this song from iTunes as well and add it to my Christmas playlist. I don't know what's being sung, exactly, but I'm sure it has something to do with loving Jesus, goodwill towards men, and sipping apple cider around the fireplace ... with SATAN*.

Just for fun, I also included the Charlie Brown / Outkast mashup that hit the Web some time ago. Dance your pants off.

*Some readers pointed out that Tourniquet is a Christian metal band, so my joke doesn't really make sense. I will try to do a better job in the future of pretending I care about Christian metal and its place in the annals of modern music.

. . . eleven Adult Swim moments.

Gather around the fireplace, kids, and let us reminisce about all the joy Adult Swim has brought us in the past year: