TVSquad

(S10E14) After relentlessly satirizing current events for several episodes, the minds behind South Park took a nice departure with this episode, offering up a hysterical take on mainstream movie conventions, complete with a voiceover and musical score provided by a man who follows Stan around to clue everyone in on what's happening while he plays music on a portable record player.

Following the old comedy standby that pain is always funny, this episode sees Stan trying to become responsible, but having more pressure put on him from the town's adults than he can handle. First his bike is towed (that's right, I said "towed"), so he can't do his paper route, and if he can't make money from the paper route, he can't get his bicycle back. He ends up enlisted to coach the pee-wee hockey team, a group of toddlers who can barely skate and never score a single goal.

1. Baseball: This sport was really made for television. It's slower than other team sports, perfect for those warm summer nights, a cold drink in your hand, maybe a breeze coming in the window as you watch. And unlike other team sports, the pace gives the viewer time to figure out their own strategies for the game (hockey and basketball are too fast, and football has too many players doing too many things at once for the average Joe).

(S06E08) Me fail English? That's unpossible! -Ralph Wiggum

I have a friend who hates what he calls "Lisa episodes" of The Simpsons. It's a good-natured disagreement he and I have had for a long time, because I absolutely love "Lisa episodes." Almost every story ever written has a character that most reflects the writer's own personality, and I think Lisa is, to many of The Simpsons writers, exactly that character. She's the quiet, beleaguered outcast cursed to live in a completely illogical world; the only one who can clearly see the jive bullsh*t that is the guiding ethos of those around her.

A school assembly is held at the beginning of the episode, and Lisa learns she's failing gym. Her teacher says she won't fail Lisa as long as Lisa takes up a sport outside of school. After failed attempts at basketball and volleyball, she joins a rival hockey team opposite Bart's team when it's revealed she has a natural talent as a goalie. Milhouse, on the other hand, does not, even after being tied to the goal.

• At 8, ABC has a repeat Wife Swap, followed by a repeat Supernanny, then a new How To Get The Guy.
• CBS has repeats of King of Queens, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Old Christine, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has Oilers/Hurricanes hockey action at 8.
• Over on FOX at 8, a repeat Hell's Kitchen, followed by a new ep.
• On the WB, two repeats of 7th Heaven, while UPN has repeats of One on One, All of Us, Girlfriends, and Half & Half.
• Also at 8: Food Network has a new Emeril Live, where he cooks "More Quick and Easy" recipes.
• At 9, TLC has a new Honey We're Killing The Kids.
• Food Network has a new Unwrapped at 9.
• TNT has a new ep of The Closer at 9, followed by a new ep of Saved.
• Lifetime has the new movie, A Girl Like Me: The Gwen Araujo Story. It's on at 9 too.
• At 10, E! has a new ep of 7 Deadly Hollywood Sins, focusing on "Gluttony."
• At 11, Lifetime has a new ep of Lovespring International.

• At 7:30, Cartoon Network has Superman: Brainiac Attacks, followed by new eps of Naruto, One Piece, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, and IGPX.
• At 8, ABC has the movie Lady and the Tramp, followed by a new episode of The Evidence.
• CBS has repeats of CSI: NY and 48 Hours Mystery.
• NBC has Hurricanes/Oilers Stanley Cup action at 8.
• Over on FOX at 8, a new ep of Cops, followed by a repeat ep, then a new America's Most Wanted.
• TBS has the Cheaper By The Dozen remake at 8.
• FX has the Busch Series Meijer 300 NASCAR race at 8.
• Emeril has a "Summertime Party" at 8 on Food Network.
• Also at 8: AMC has Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai.
• At 9, TBS has Signs.
• At 10, the Golf Channel has U.S. Open highlights.
• Just after 11:30, Encore has The Bourne Supremecy.