TVSquad

Here are the weekly cable ratings, by number of viewers.

I think I speak for most readers here when I ask...what the hell is Minutemen? Did Disney make some historical movie? Actually, checking online I see that it's a "adventure-comedy-sci-fi" movie. It got the number one slot this week, as well as the number ten slot. Zoey 101 got the second and third slots, probably because people were tuning in to see "hey, is she pregnant yet??"

1. Minutemen (Disney)

One of my favorite series this summer has been Ice Road Truckers on the History Channel. If you haven't seen it, a quick synopsis: truck drivers in northern Canada haul critical supplies hundreds of miles across frozen lakes to diamond mines owned by DeBeers and other corporations.

Ice Road Truckers is the kind of reality show I can dig, because it features real people with an extraordinary occupation. There's some drama, but it's never contrived or played up for the cameras. I stopped watching Dog the Bounty Hunter because I got sick of egregious musical cues dictating when I was supposed to feel something, and Ice Road Truckers is mercifully void of such manipulation. The fact that these men are driving heavy rigs with only a few inches of ice between themselves and the water is dramatic enough.

I mentioned Human Weapon briefly back in March. The new series for the History Channel follows Professional fighter and martial expert Jason Chambers and former football player and wrestler Bill Duff as they travel the world to find martial arts experts and fight them. I assume it's a planned fight, I don't think Chambers and Duff will suddenly stop in mid-interview and start punching people, though that would be fun to watch.

Big thanks to my pal Wild Bill for smacking me upside the ol' noggin' about this documentary.

Star Wars was the first movie I remember seeing in the theater, even though I was only seven months old when it was released (I saw it in 1980 when it was re-released to coincide with the release of The Empire Strikes Back).

I'm sure Star Wars fans have know about the History Channel's upcoming Star Wars: The Legacy Revealed for some time now, but if not, here's your heads up: the special airs May 28 at 9:00 p.m., then repeats at one in the morning.

What the hell does Star Wars have to do with history. you ask? Well, that's what this documentary is all about. It will delve into some of the subtle and not-so-subtle mythological and historical parallels that run throughout the original trilogy, including Napoleon, Hitler, King Arthur and Greek legends.

The History Channel has five new weekly series currently in development and set to premiere in 2007 and 2008.

The first series, Ice Road Truckers, is a documentary series focusing on long haul truck drivers in northern North America who drive their rigs across frozen lakes and risk falling through the ice, therefore having to keep one hand on the door at all times in case they need to bail out. The series will focus both on the truckers and on the miners who rely on them. If you're into shows like Deadliest Catch on the Discovery, this show may also be right up your alley.

On February 19 at 9:00 p.m., Leonard Nimoy will host Star Trek: Beyond the Final Frontier on the History Channel. The documentary will look back on the franchise's forty-year history and feature interviews with several actors from various Star Trek series including Avery Brooks (Deep Space Nine), Kate Mulgrew (Star Trek Voyager) and Patrick Stewart (Star Trek: The Next Generation).

The special will also feature footage from Christie's auction of Star Trek memorabilia, costumes, props and set pieces from last October that took in over seven million dollars.

Unfortunately, our resident Star Trek insider Wil Wheaton won't be part of the documentary. No matter, at least here you can read his Star Trek: The Next Generation reviews, which are probably funnier than anything you'll see in this new special. What's equally as upsetting as Wil getting the shaft is that I also wasn't asked to participate in the documentary, despite being Nichelle Nichols' stunt double* on the original Star Trek.

*I was never Nichelle Nichols' stunt double.

More precisely, you can learn about Hell on the History Channel tonight at 8pm by watching Hell: The Devil's Domain. Forgive my morbidity, but I'm endlessly fascinated by the idea of Hell in all its various forms: from the Biblical version to Dante's Inferno to the Greek myth of Hades. All those demons and damned souls always put an extra little spring in my step. I'm sick and I need help, I know.