TVSquad

Another month, another study on how TV is bad for us.

The latest comes from The University of Maryland, where sociologists looking over 30 years worth of data have concluded that people who watch a lot of television are unhappy. People who say that they are very happy read more and socialize more.

Oh, this is bogus on so many levels.

(S18E07) I usually take on the role of apologist when it comes to The Simpsons, defending it against those who say it's not as good as it was in the early years. I still maintain the series is the funniest and smartest thing on network television, but even I can admit when an episode isn't quite up to snuff, and this one was nowhere near snuff, up to it or otherwise.

I'm enough of a fan of the show that even a mediocre episode still has enough to entertain me, and there were a few moments in this episode I thought were pretty funny, such as the dead ice cream man being buried with a giant ice cream scoop, or Homer taking Polaroids of himself to show Marge how sad he was that he wrecked her popsicle stick sculptures, but the basic plot had been done before (Homer upsets Marge by not taking enough of an interest in her and finally redeems himself in the end) and it's been done better.

On November 19, Dr. Sanjay Gupta will host a new Dr. Sanjay Gupta Primetime Special titled "The Happiness Cure," which initially sounded to me like the show would be about trying to find a cure for happiness, and I think we all know the cure for happiness is watching an infinite video loop of a kitten scratching a baby. However, the special is actually about where happiness comes from and how different people try to obtain it. Different segments will look at genetics, drugs both legal and illegal, and the effects of happiness on health. Personally, I have my happiness smuggled here once a week from China. Over time I've built up a tolerance and now the only thing that affects me is pure, unbridled ecstasy, which I keep in a cigar box under my bed. Comedian Richard Lewis and motivational speaker Tony Robbins will also appear on the special. It airs on CNN November 19 at 10 pm.

(S06E13) This episode, in which we learn how Maggie joined the Simpson clan, is one of my favorites. It manages to be both incredibly funny and incredibly touching, both signs of a great Simpsons episode. Let's jump in:

The plot in a nutshell is that Marge demands the family spend some quality time together, so they look at the family photo album. The kids notice there are no pictures of Maggie, so Homer tells them the story of how Marge's pregnancy changed the course of their lives. Homer starts off by telling his kids that he was at work at the nuclear power plant when a group of freelance terrorists took over, and he defeated each of them in hand to hand combat. Then Marge yells at him to tell the story correctly.

There were no "freelance terrorists," but Homer did terrorize Mr. Burns by quitting his job and riding away on a golf cart while he played Burns' head like a bongo. He also literally burns a bridge as he drives away ("That's for employing me for eight years!"). Homer figures now that he's out of debt he can finally do what he's always dreamed of: work at the bowling alley. Being a "pin monkey" is the highlight of Homer's life, and he doesn't want anything to change it. He even prays to God to freeze everything the way it is, and if He agrees, to "give me absolutely no sign." Leave it to Homer to find a loophole in prayer.