TVSquad

Earlier this week, I was watching the CBS Evening News while I was at the keyboard. That means I wasn't really watching the TV screen; I was listening to the tube while working on the Mac. Therefore, I didn't even notice that Katie Couric had a new haircut. Then, from the other room, my husband called to me and asked what I thought. "Thought about what?" I answered.

That was how I heard the "big" news that CBS anchor Katie Couric has a new look. Really, what does it matter? Why should it matter? She's presenting the news, not selling hair gel or mousse, right?

Well, she's making over America one salon at a time. The former Shear Genius contestant will be saving America's hair stylists in Tabatha's Salon Takeover. She'll visit salons on both coasts that are in dire need of her direction. Coffey has just a week to work her magic.

This is the "hair version" of Kitchen Nightmares. The press release goes on to say that her comments are mean and jarring. The salon owners and employees probably won't like her at first. But they'll realize that it's her passion and intensity that "drives her sincere quest to turn these salons around." After one week with Coffey, who started as a salon assistant when she was 14-years-old, we'll see dramatic results. Coffey will also recommend people to be fired and tell some of the better stylists that they should raise their rates. Kitchen Nightmares, right? I'm not saying I wouldn't give this a try though. I like Kitchen Nightmares.

Tabatha's Salon Takeover premieres Thursday August 21st at 10 p.m. ET on Bravo.

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

Allow me to get in touch with my feminine side just for the sake of this article. Having my girlfriend as a sounding board also helped.

When Buffy the Vampire Slayer hit the airwaves in 1997 as a television adaptation of an unremarkable movie, no one ever expected the show to be a success let alone establish itself as a part of modern philosophy.

(S04E01) Three years ago, I was asked to perform stand-up comedy at my high school reunion. I wasn't a full-time professional yet, but I was getting close; I figured I would go in there and kill. I imagined all the girls who didn't find me attractive in high school (which was, uh, all the girls) would instantly swoon for me and I'd get some measure of closure on what was a very disappointing chapter in my life. Of course, I tanked. Badly. The people at my reunion couldn't have been less interested in what I had to say if I was trying to sell them timeshares. I spent the rest of the night mixing cold medication and hard liquor, trying to find a combination that wouldn't shut down my liver but would help me forget how poorly I performed that night.

I never thought I'd regret a decision more than my accepting that high school reunion gig. Now, three years later, I've finally found a decision I regret more: accepting the assignment to review TV Land's new reality show, High School Reunion.

OK, now this might be the grossest "save our show" mail campaign yet.

The folks over at New York mag's Vulture Culture are urging readers to send hair to ABC to save the in-trouble sitcom Cavemen. They're upset that the show wasn't on ABC's list of shows renewed for the 2008-09 season, and they want people to start mailing envelopes filled with their hair to ABC Entertainment President Stephen McPherson. And they're suggesting you even shave your head completely. They want you to include the note "Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow." No word yet on whether or not the stuff will be sent Hair-Mail (ha!).

(S11E10) Holy crap! Nancy loses some of her hair in this episode, just like Marge did in The Simpsons episode "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious!" Quick, somebody make a video so we can expose how King of the Hill is ripping off The Simpsons!

Anyway, this wasn't a bad episode, but it wasn't anything that great either. It felt like a snapshot of a typical day in Arlen, which means it's probably not a bad episode to show someone unfamiliar with the series, but for long-time fans, it took us places we've already been to many times before.

As usual, Dale is obsessed with aliens, and his constant yammering about the vernal equinox and his pestering Nancy about cooking the right food for the aliens has stressed her out so much her hair starts falling out. Naturally, going back to the bliss she once felt with her former lover John Redcorn starts to seem like a good idea.

Production has just begun on a new competition series for the Oxygen network that will pit hairstylists against one another in an attempt to go one-on-one with a famous hairstylist. The new series, hosted by SoapTalk's Lisa Rinna, is called Tease. Robert Verdi of E! and Style will judge the competitions along with salon owner Peter Ishkahns and booking agent Frank Moore. Six episodes of the new series are currently in production and slated to air in January. I'm clearly not the target audience for this new series, since to me the only thing more boring than getting my hair cut is watching someone else have their hair styled. Then again, if the series is as frantic as they're making it out to be, maybe we'll see a lot of accidental head stabs, third degree burns and eye punctures. If that's the case, then I may have an excuse to tune into Oxygen for the first time since that network debuted.

According to the contract Rosie O'Donnell signed when she was chosen to take over Merideth Viera's spot on The View, she will not be able to cut her hair while on the show. If you're wondering what the length of her hair has to do with her ability to perform her hosting duties, well, you can keep wondering because it really has nothing to do with them at all. Apparently they just want to maintain a certain aesthetic on the show, and the chopped look she once sported toward the end of her syndicated talk show's run isn't what ABC executives are looking for. I guess if you're going to yak for an hour about nothing you need to look as glamorous as possible to distract from the fact you're not actually saying anything.

[via Best Week Ever]

Last night's episode of Everybody Hates Chris focused on a sibling rivalry between Chris and his younger brother Drew, who is better than Chris in everything that matters to young teenage boys, especially fighting and getting girls. Jealous, Chris decides to enroll in a karate class, where his instructor informs the class that karate is about learning ways to kill people, and then not doing it.

I grew up with two siblings, an older sister and a younger brother, and all three of us were so radically different in our personalities and interests that there was never any real jealously between us. I couldn't really empathize with Chris' desire to do something better than his little brother, but I do remember wanting to take karate at a young age. My reason for wanting this, as is the case for most boys, was so I could beat the living crap out of anyone who tried to beat me up at school. I never did take lessons, but I did develop my own form of karate which involved placing one foot in front of the other, and using this motion to propel myself quickly in the opposite direction of my assailant.

It makes perfect sense when you think about it. What is the one element missing from video games these days? Yes, exactly, it's oil painting. Do you know how much more popular Tomb Raider would have been if instead of Lara Croft you just spent the whole time painting mountains? Well, AGFRAG Entertainment is taking video games to the next level with a new game based on the paintings of Bob Ross, the poofy-haired, avuncular gentleman who lulled us all into contentment with his soothing voice and gentle instruction on the long-running PBS series The Joy of Painting. The new game will utilize the new Nintendo Revolution controller, a remote control-like controller which can be used just like a paintbrush. Gamers can also hear Ross' voice, as the developers have the rights to the audio files from the series. Alas, the game has no publisher yet, but you can submit ideas for the game to the developers here.

[via Jeff Pidgeon]

Like most of you, I have trouble getting through my day knowing I'll never have hair like Jessica Simpson. I've yet to come to terms with this, so most of my day is spent sobbing and pounding the floor screaming, "Why can't I have such gorgeous locks of blonde hair shimmering like spun gold in the moonlight? I would be the loveliest debutante at the ball, and all the rugged suitors would wish to dance with me and only me!" Then I put on eyeshadow and eat a box of Hostess Sno-Balls. It's a character flaw, admittedly, I'm trying to work through it.

Anyway, it turns out I'm not the only one pining for Jessica's locks. She plans to launch her own line of hair extensions this summer. You can get hair that matches her blonde locks, or if you'd rather have hair like her sister Ashlee, you can do that, too. In fact, there's "a rainbow of colors and styles" according to one source. The new line is called "Jessica Hair Extensions" and was created along with her hairstylist, Ken Paves.

Yikes. I thought Paris "The Sure Thing" Bennett could do no wrong as an American Idol contestant. Then she had this done to herself. Check out her bio page over at FOX's American Idol webpage. Paris is the only one of 24 contestants who has gone through a radical makeover since we saw her this week in Hollywood. And it's not good. Too. Much. Hair.

What do you think of Paris' new look?

[Via Entertainment Weekly]

One of many double standards between the sexes is that men are more or less allowed to have their hair turn gray, even at a youngish age. I guess it all comes down to "rugged sophistication" or something. The New York Daily News claims that "sexy gray" has made a comeback, at least on TV news, and they blame sexy silverhead Anderson Cooper. I guess you have to admit, he is kind of dreamy. I imagine Anderson and I floating on a boat down a moonlit river, he plucks a banjo and serenades me as I relax under a parasol while the crickets sing harmony. Wait, what was I talking about? Right, gray hair. It seems more and more newsmen, like NBC's Dan Abrams, have ditched the die and are letting their freaky gray flag fly. I guess if you got it, you flaunt it. Just ask Jon Stewart.