TVSquad

If you didn't watch today's episode of The Price is Right, you missed a woman wearing a "Substitute Teachers Need Random Sets Too" t-shirt (which I'm still not sure I understand), a woman winning a set of Star Trek Pez dispensers (!),Drew Carey showing what the price card looks like inside that envelope used on Contestants Row (not sure if we've ever seen that before), and a woman flapping her arms up and down like a bird in excitement, even though she didn't win a car in the Lucky 7 game (side note: that game is impossible to win now). Oh, and you also missed Bob Barker return to the show he hosted for over 30 years.

Barker made his first appearance on the show since his retirement to promote his new memoir, Priceless Memories. He showed up during the showcases. After the jump, his appearance (along with interviews and some behind the scenes footage).

Now that Guiding Light is destined to become another sad memory of lonely housewives nationwide, CBS is hoping an old daytime tradition will pull them away from their housework.

And for those of you now engulfed in hate flame who've found the fuel to write some snide comment about my Mad Men-ish view of soap opera viewers and women, please calm the #*$& down. One, I realize this is not the 1950s and women don't all strive to stay at home barefoot and pregnant. And two, who the hell else watches soap operas? Only male hair salon stylists and hospital patients who don't have the physical ability or cognitive capacity to operate a bed remote.

I hope this means more game shows are on the way.

There are some forces in the universe that should never be messed with: the sun, black holes and Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek. Take it from someone who knows.

The man has the unholy ability to make ANYONE look stupid on national television. He can make an Ivy League PhD appear as though he went to city college. He can turn a Midwestern elementary school teacher into someone no parent would entrust their child with for eight hours a day. His trademark "Oh, sorry" alone can make a world renowned neurosurgeon look like a jabbering mental patient who doesn't know the name of the bone that houses the human brain.

So it's no wonder that politicians are scared to be seen in the same camera shot with the man.

The hours of preparation have been grueling. The amount of studying has been tedious and boring. The sacrifice required to reach this moment has been great and punishing. I didn't shower for two days and the smell almost set off the fire alarm in some of the smaller rooms.

Now the only weapons I have at my disposal are my nimble fingers, my rapid comprehension and my ability to remember everything I've read in the span of four days. We're about to go head-to-head with the razor-toothed man eater that is the Jeopardy! contestant test.

We're gonna need a bigger brain.

It's more than a little ironic (or tragic, depending on how much you give a rat's ass) that the most successful game show in the history of American television has never had a truly worthy home game. One worthy enough to give to loser contestants so they can win against their own friends and family at home because God is a cruel comedian.

Seriously, God should get his own Mark Twain Prize.

Now after more than 35 years on the air, there is such a game: The Price is Right video game. And it's so well done and fun that it could crush the soul of a 300-pound linebacker from Obetz, Ohio who lost out on his chance to be the only guy in town who owns a Chrysler Crossfire.

The way that game show fans feel about Wheel of Fortune is so well-documented it has sort of become a cliche. Wheel of Fortune is for a certain type of person, and shows like Jeopardy are for another type. I don't know if I agree with that.

There's something for game show fans in each show, whether you're solving a letter puzzle or trying to answer a question about ancient Rome or literature, though I can certainly see why one would appeal to a person and the other wouldn't. But I have to admit that I drifted away from Wheel of Fortune for many years because of contestants such as the one from last night's episode.

Studying was never my strong-suit. I always got by in college on my looks; that would explain why I was a C-student. Come to think of it, planning isn't either. Neither is getting enough REM sleep, keeping a clean house or (as you can see by my picture) sticking to a regular skin care regime.

So when it came to preparing for my Jeopardy! test, the same substandard habits applied. I could have started cracking the books at least a month ago when I first heard the website was holding online contestant tests at the Jeopardy! website. It just seemed like a huge mountain of knowledge to tame in one sitting. Plus, I had about 15 Tales from the Darkside episodes that my TiVo had taped and were about to go to waste.

So when it came time to crack the books and cram in as much information as my brain could hold, I not only had to make up for lost time.

Every apprentice who aims to journey on a quest fraught with peril and self-realization must seek someone with experience in facing it. He must consult with a man who not only has walked that road many times before, but has beaten it into submission until he emerged triumphant.

Hercules had to consult the Delphi Oracle if he wanted to avenge his family's death.

Rocky had to learn to trust Mickey if he wanted to defeat Apollo Creed.

Luke Skywalker had to find Yoda if he wanted to become a Jedi.

So if I wanted to achieve victory over the daunting behemoth of knowledge that is the Jeopardy! contestant test, I, too, would have to find an equally experienced and successful "Yoda" from the game show shire.

In short, Ken Jennings wasn't available but the Mace Windu of the Jeopardy! Council was.

If you've ever wanted to be a contestant on the legendary Jeopardy!, then get in line. It starts behind me. I already called dibs and stamped it.

Jeopardy! will conduct national online contestant tests this week on their official website. The tests will take place by timezone: Tuesday at 8 p.m. Eastern for people on the East Coast, Wednesday at 8 p.m. Central and 7 p.m. Mountain for residents in those time zones and Thursday at 8 p.m. for Pacific Coast, Alaska and Hawaii viewers.

As part of this annual game show tradition, I, your humble (not-so-much) TVSquad blogger Danny Gallagher, will also be one of the many, many people trying out for the most hallowed game show in the history of American broadcasting. And as always, you get to come along for the ride. Please keep all hands and arms inside the vehicle until my ego comes to a complete stop.

Have you ever come across an old TV show that you probably wouldn't have remembered on your own but when presented with video or audio evidence that the show actually existed makes you say "Oh, that's right, I remember that show!?!" This is one of those TV shows.

The Magnificent Marble Machine was a short-lived game show in the mid-70's that involved a gigantic pinball machine. Art James was the host and Johnny Gilbert the announcer. Celebs would team with ordinary citizens and answer questions in the early rounds (the dull part of the game) and then go on to play the big pinball machine. Actually, that turned out to be rather dull too. I thought this would turn out to be cool but even as a kid I was bored. This show was the Supertrain of game shows.

Someone has uploaded an entire episode of the show to YouTube (thank you web!). After the jump, the episode, in five separate videos. That Opel Manta looks kinda cool.

File this one under awesome. To help promote the upcoming fourth season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, FX is launching a traveling game show where fans can test their Sunny wits in a trivia challenge. The tour kicks off today at the University of Colorado and spans the country making stops at other campuses like UC Berkeley and Hofstra University.

The contest will feature five rounds of questions as well as a bonus spin wheel where fans can walk away with DVD sets, apparel, and yes - the grand prize - The Golden Dumpster Baby. Everyone remembers that episode, right?

I suppose this is a pretty good idea. For the most part, the audience FX is targeting (college males who like fart and boob jokes) probably already know the show returns on September 18th. So for a lot of people, this is just a really cool bonus.

Hole in the Wall, this summer's latest Japanese game show ripoff, has announced its hosts. Actress Brooke Burns and L.A. weather anchor Mark Thompson will be presiding over Fox's version of human Tetris. Both have game show experience, with Burns having served as the host of Dog Eat Dog and Thompson providing the voiceover for Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

Hole is being brought to America by American Idol producers FremantleMedia North America and came to be after clips of the Japanese version became hugely popular on YouTube. Ellen DeGeneres also got a kick out of the Japanese competition, not only featuring several clips on her talk show, but even going so far as having audience members participate in her own version.

Oh, the humanity! Wheel of Fortune is not all frivolity and fun. Merv Griffin knew what he was doing when he created this venerable game show. Drama, ensues! You think it's so easy spinning the wheel, buying a vowel, laughing at Pat Sajak's jokes and ogling Vanna's gorgeous gait? Well, it's not. Under all that pressure you'd be surprised -- or maybe you wouldn't -- to see how some people simply come up short in the solution department. The letters all float together and instead of spelling a word you know as well as your own name, you pick the wrong consonant and you're WAH-WAHed in shame and regret. The fortune goes to the next player and you're left with egg on your face.

Watch these great examples and you'll see what I mean (a sample is after the jump). Like Jay Leno's simple "man in the street" questions about common knowledge, you see that there's no telling how stupid people can be, especially with a camera and microphone in their face.

[via digg]

For the pink tile ... it's Trivial Pursuit! The ultimate trivia challenge finally makes the leap back to the television airwaves [thanks posters-jh]. The upcoming syndicated Trivial Pursuit: America Plays has cleared 55% of the nation, including eight of the top 10 markets. What this means to you and me is it's virtually a lock that we'll be able to participate in this new show soon.

Yes, you read that right. The show will feature viewer submitted video questions. You could get your ugly mug ("No, no, not you ... you're beautiful ... I'm talking about the rest of them.") up on the screen asking your very own trivia question. Man, I hope they have a pretty hefty screening process for this. I don't want some redneck yahoo standing there in his cutoff jean shorts and too small high school football jersey yelling "How many interceptions did I make in the big game against the Duke County Daisies in '76? ... or was it '77?"

Endemol USA, the production company behind such shows as Big Brother, Deal or No Deal and 1 Vs. 100, is developing its first project for BET.

Take the Cake will premiere July 9 at 11:00 p.m. The new series not only allows contestants to answer pop culture questions, but also allows folks at home the chance to call in and answer questions (or text their answers) and win a cash prize. The series, hosted by Tocarra and Joe Clair, will also feature guest stars, comedy bits and performances.

Endemol has has success in the past, and it's nice to see the company joining forces with BET. Still, a similar idea, Midnight Money Madness, wasn't quite strong enough to warrant a second season on TBS, so it will be interesting to see how this one fares.