TVSquad

MTV is hooking up with That '70s Show's Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) to develop a scripted comedy that takes a look at celebrity worship. The series, titled Baby Dolls, which will be filmed in documentary style, is told from the point of view of "a naive and jaded personal assistant to a young actress." Naive and jaded? So this person has a lack of experience, judgment or knowledge about the world but is hardworking and completely worn out by all the energy he or she puts into the job? Sounds like a job for Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock!

Or I guess Valderrama could play the role himself. He certainly played the role of "naive" to a T in That '70s Show and hasn't been doing much TV work outside of getting Punk'd by fellow '70s co-star Ashton Kutcher from time to time. Doesn't he know that there's a legion of Fez-natics out here just waiting for him to grace our screens again. Hell, keep it the same character ... Fez twenty years later working as a personal assistanta. "Would you like me to powder your breasts with my nose?"

Despite the fact that I'm part of MTV's target demographic, I don't really watch the network. I only tune in as I'm getting dressed in the early morning and MTV's running its morning music video block. For the rest of the day, MTV seems to avoid actually playing full music videos like the plague. Instead, they fill their programming schedule with awful reality shows about spoiled pre-teens and dating shows so depressing that contestants are even willing to pee all over themselves to get out.

Now, please allow me to frolic about in my own fantasy world, in which I create my idea of MTV's perfect programming schedule. There are only five -- FIVE -- MTV shows that I would keep. That's right. Everything else should be full-on music videos. In my own MTV, there will be no Laguna Beach, no Pimp My Ride, and certainly no Yo Momma (how did they manage to pitch that?!)