TVSquad

The thought of having to sit through another cable network awards show makes my Golden Globes shrivel.

It's nothing but a million-dollar idea for getting some useless ink in what's left of the local papers and making a quick buck off the cell texting charges by getting people to vote for awards that mean nothing. It's the television equivalent of the participation medals you got in elementary school for not dying during the mile run.

Thanks to Samuel L. Jackson's work as the host of the recent ESPY Awards, I will sit through whatever awards show he hosts from now on. I don't care if the National Sewage Treatment Board of America hires him to host their annual "Sewey" awards.

• AMC's Mad Men marathon runs all night until 1am.
• BBC America's Spaced marathon continues until 9pm.
• At 7, G4 has a new Hurl!
• At 8, CBS has a new Big Brother.
• ABC has the premiere of High School Musical: Get in the Picture at 8.
• Disney has a new Hannah Montana at 8, followed by a new Wizards of Waverly Place.
• There's a new Challenge on Food Network at 8, then new episodes of Iron Chef America and Next Food Network Star.
• At 9, NBC has a new Dateline.
• PBS has a new Masterpiece at 9.
• ESPN has the ESPY Awards at 9.
• USA has a new Law and Order: CI at 9, then a new In Plain Sight.
• A&E has two new episodes of Gene Simmons' Family Jewels starting at 9, followed by a new Two Coreys.
• History Channel has a new Ice Road Truckers at 9.
• HBO has a new Generation Kill at 9.
• Nickelodeon has a new Nick News at 9.
• Sundance Channel has a new Shameless at 9.
• Also at 9: HGTV has a new Design Star.
• At 9:30, TCM has Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House.
• At 10, Lifetime has a new Army Wives.
• E! has a new Denise Richards: It's Complicated at 10, then a new Living Lohan.
• At 11:30, Cartoon Network has a new Venture Brothers.
• At 12:15am, Cartoon Network has a new Fat Guy Stuck In Internet.

Check your local TV listings for more.

• The Andy Griffith Show marathon continues on TV Land all night.
• At 7, NBC has a new, two-hour Dateline.
• At 8, CBS has a new Big Brother.
• Side Order of Life debuts on Lifetime at 8, followed by the debut of State of Mind and a new Army Wives.
• At 9, PBS has a new Mystery!
• USA has a new episode of The 4400 at 9, then a new Dead Zone.
• The ESPY Awards air on ESPN at 9.
• Also at 9: HBO has a new John From Cincinnati, followed by new episodes of Entourage and Flight of the Conchords.
• At 10, VH-1 has a new Gene Simmons Family Jewels.
• Food Network has a new Next Food Network Star at 10.
• Showtime has a new Meadowlands at 10 (repeated at 11).
• At 11:45, Cartoon Network has a new Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law.

Check your local TV listings for more.