TVSquad

I got a great letter this week from a TV fan named Jim R.

"Dear TV Squad, About 15 years ago, I watched an episode of a scifi/fantasy TV show wherein an Elvis impersonator traveled back in time to meet (and eventually kill) the real Elvis. Could you please tell me the name of this program? Thanks"

There are very few times that I wish I lived in Los Angeles (I'm a cold weather guy). This is one of them.

The annual William S. Paley Television Festival kicks off on March 14 (at its new home at Hollywood's Cinerama Dome) and runs through the 27th, and it looks like a lot of great shows are going to be celebrated during those two weeks. Already announced are panels that will reunite the cast from Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, as well as nights devoted to Chuck, Mad Men, Pushing Daisies, Gossip Girl, Dirty Sexy Money, Elvis Presley, and Judd Apatow. And there are still more events to be announced next week.

• At 8, CBS has a new Big Brother.
• FOX has a new So You Think You Can Dance at 8.
• PBS has Elvis Lives: The 25th Anniversary Concert at 8.
• Speaking of Elvis, TCM has movies all night, including Jailhouse Rock and Viva Las Vegas.
• ESPN has preseason football at 8, the Dolphins vs. the Chiefs, while ESPN2 has the Western & Southern Financial tennis tournament.
• At 9, the History Channel has a new Boneyard.
• Sci-Fi has a new Who Wants To Be A Superhero at 9.
• At 10, AMC has a new Mad Men.
• There's a new Burn Notice on USA at 10.
• Food Network has a new Ace of Cakes at 10.
• TV Land has a special Elvis edition of Myths & Legends, also at 10.
• At 10:30, VH-1 has a new I Hate My 30s.

Check your local TV listings for more.

Do you know what today is? I'll tell you what day it is: it's Elvis' birthday. In honor of the King, I'm going to teach all of you how to do a passable Elvis impersonation. Here's what you do: speaking in the lowest register your voice can reach, say this line: "A hubba hayba hubba hayba baby." Gyrate your hips while doing this and sneer. Now marry a teenager. Now take drugs and die. There you go, you're a rock and roll icon.

(S01E08) While I haven't been overwhelmed by every episode of Nightmares and Dreamscapes, for the most part I think they picked decent stories to base the episodes on. I would have liked to seen more of Stephen King's older short stories represented, but I guess the producers lost my phone number or they forgot to call and ask me which stories I would have picked.

Anyway, I would not have picked "You Know They Got a Hell of a Band" as one of the stories. One of my favorite things about Stephen King's short stories is how outlandish they can be, but this one, about a couple that winds up in a small town inhabited by dead rock stars, was just silly. I thought maybe they could turn that into something kind of fun and goofy for television, but instead they played it straight, which really wasn't the best approach.