TVSquad

In a move that certainly moves him down a few rungs on the Ladder of Coolness, Eddie Van Halen will be guest-starring on an upcoming episode of Two and A Half Men. And yes, he'll even be playing the guitar during the episode. Apparently, he's a big fan of the show.

Mind you, I doubt this will be Eddie's most embarrassing television appearance. That would be the Saturday Night Live sketch featuring then-wife Valerie Bertinelli, based on the premise that his whole life was a rock concert. It was bad, to say the least.

Still, the man is a fabulous guitarist, and if he offered to play guitar on my television show (if I had a television show), I'd probably agree to it. It's a shame CBS couldn't get David Lee Roth for the same episode. It's tough to get those guys in a room together.

We seem to be in the middle of a Valerie Bertinelli renaissance.

First Bertinelli signed up with Jenny Craig and is the new spokesperson (bye-bye Kirstie Alley), then she became a correspondent for Rachael Ray, then she released a memoir, and then she made the inevitable appearance on Oprah. She was also on Larry King Live earlier this week and when he asked her if she would like to do a talk show, she didn't say "hey, I already have one!" but that must have been the case, because she has one. Bertinelli has signed with CBS to develop a new talk show for the 2009-10 season.

Valerie Bertinelli, who many remember as Barbara Cooper on One Day at a Time, is publishing her first book, a memoir titled Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time. The book will focus on Bertinelli's life as a young TV star, and her battles with weight gain and depression.

Bertinelli also appeared on Touched by an Angel and is currently a spokesperson for Jenny Craig.

Honestly, I think she looks a lot better with a little extra weight. Not that my five year old self didn't pine for the younger, skinnier Bertinelli when she was on One Day at a Time, but I don't likes m' ladies to be all skin and bones, you know? Of course you do.

One of the great things about the web is that almost anything you want to know about is usually just several clicks away. Especially at Google, where they are putting up just about everything you could possibly want to know about.

Case in point: patents. You can search through patents from 1790 to 1996. And that includes patents from celebrity inventors. Did you know that Lawrence Welk patented an ash tray shaped like an accordian? Or how about an enhanced fish attractor device from M*A*S*H's Gary Burghoff? And how about this music display system from Harry Connick, Jr.?

But the most interesting might be the Hydro-Therapeutic Stimulator from Penn Jillette. Basically, it's a large water-filled tub used for, um, sexual stiimulation (for females - sorry, guys).

[via Pop Candy]

Last night's Idol was one of the liveliest shows in the past few weeks. Not because of the performances, but because of everybody else. First off , Whoopi and Chris Rock? When I first spotted them in the crowd, I rewinded my DVR five times to verify that it was them. On the fourth rewind, I had them pegged as impersonators...and darn good ones. But nope, it was them. How funny is it that Chris Rock & Whoopi show up on country night? They're both huge Kenny Rodgers fans, I'm sure.

And it appears that Ryan (like so many men recently) has gone the way of the beard.