TVSquad

To many people, William Shatner is a beloved TV icon. To others, he's a shameless self-promoter, a commercial pitchman for everything from margarine to hotel rooms. Few feel neutral about Shatner, so this story may come as something of a surprise. William Shatner rarely watches himself on TV and film. Like a lot of actors, when he works, he's in the moment and doesn't go back and study what he did and why. It's been working for him. As Denny Crane on Boston Legal, he's won two Emmys in the last three years.

Unless you've been in a coma over the last week (and if you have, I'm glad you're back) you probably know a little something about the troubles former New York governor Eliot Spitzer has been having. Not to go into to much detail, but it has something to do with an illegal prostitution ring, taking said prostitutes across state lines, and a little bit of money laundering. Hence, the reason he isn't "current" New York governor Eliot Spitzer anymore (at least as of noon on Monday).

To defend himself against these charges, Spitzer has hired a set of pretty powerful lawyers to help him put together a strong defense. But, will these purveyors of truth and justice be the ones who keep Governor Spitzer out of the pokey? I'm thinking not. In fact, I think Spitzer is barking up the wrong tree when it comes to the people who will defend him in court. What he should really be doing is visiting some of the high-profile television law firms that have been able to make a jury bawl in their seats over a serial killer's second amendment rights.

Here are but a few of the TV law firms the former governor should consider.

Considering how often ABC has opted to not air repeats of Boston Legal during its first four years, it should come as good news to fans of Denny & Alan's buddy dramedy that ION has picked up the series. It plans to re-air the series weeknights in the fall. Personally, I'm thrilled because I missed the first season altogether and various scattered episodes here and there since then. Oh, and Boston Legal isn't streamed at ABC.com.

Alan: "So what do you think of our show going to ION, Denny?"
Denny: "Well I knew technology was making things smaller and smaller, but an ion Alan? Really?"

So is it yet another Star Trek alumnus coming on-screen, or a reunion of former Murphy Brown costars Candace Bergen and her on-screen amore Scott Bakula, as TV Guide says. Looks like it's both, as Bakula has signed on to join Bergen and William Shatner for an upcoming episode of Boston Legal. In it he will play one of Shirley Schmidt's (Bergen) exes who runs into her at a bar. No word on if his will be a multi-episode arc or a one-time appearance.

Bakula has shown himself to have a bit of comedic chops recently on The New Adventures of Old Christine, and with BL being a dramedy, he might do very well there. Either way, it is good to see Bakula back on the small screen. Quantum Leap remains one of my all-time favorite shows and I'm still mad they haven't found a way to bring it back (despite periodic rumors that they may), while Knight Rider gets a revival. It'd be great if they can get Bakula's character and Denny Crane (Shatner) together in a scene and have them salute one another or slip some other Trek teaser for the audience in the know.

I missed Boston Legal this week. I hate that they don't have consistent weekly episodes--how Boston Legal just disappears for weeks to accommodate the U.S. Open or some national dog show. Because I was disappointed in missing the banter between Spader and Shatner or the rest of the absurd cast of characters, I decided to find out what's going to happen on December's episodes of Boston Legal.

Episodes will air on December 4th, 11th, and 18th (Christmas episode!) at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

(S04E06) "It doesn't matter what people are saying as long as they talk about you" - Denny Crane

Watching the opening scene of this episode made me smile. Very few shows can mine humor out of the execution style murder of an unarmed man. Boston Legal has turned it into an art form.

Mare Winningham is one of the most underrated actresses in America. It takes a true talent to appear cold and unfeeling on the outside and still let the audience see that your insides are being torn apart by every emotion imaginable.

(S04E03) "The heart can be a bitch." - Alan Shore

I cannot begin this review without addressing how shocked I was with the opening scene. The very idea of a fifteen year old girl who contracts HIV made my jaw drop. I was shocked that a school would teach children that abstinence is the only effective way to avoid unwanted pregnancy and STD's. When I was in school (many years ago) we were taught that while abstinence is the best way to avoid the pitfalls of teen sex, condoms are a close second, especially when it comes to avoiding disease. As a parent, it concerns me that my daughter's school might actually teach this sort of thing. Thankfully, Alan pointed out where the blame actually lies...in the lap of the U.S. government. In an effort to please the conservatives who elected them, the Republicans refuse to give schools an option that would teach teens a realistic way to have sex responsibly. I know it's only a TV show but only a fool would think this kind of thing isn't happening in some parts of the country.

I'm talking about Betty Suarez, not the actress (America Ferrera) who plays her on the hit ABC show. Every year one of the financial sites figures out how much money various TV characters make a year. Last year we discovered that Homer Simpson makes $67,422 at the power plant. This year's list comes from CareerBuilder.com.

I'm not surprised to find out that Boston Legal's Denny Crane makes $210,000, but I was rather shocked that Cold Case's Lilly Rush only makes $44,000 a year. She solves cold cases, for pete's sake! Hopefully the benefits are good.

The list also has the salaries for Arthur Branch on Law and Order, Jim on According To Jim, Pam on The Office, and many others.

Update: Betty Suarez makes $37, 810 a year. Now you don't even have to click on the link and all the world is at peace again.

(S03E24) Before I forget, I have to say that Brad's baby is adorable. Great casting. OK, now that I've got that out of the way...

This was a near perfect season finale with the firm of Crane Poole & Schmidt swinging for the fences. With Jerry and Clarence suing a casino and Denny guaranteeing a win this episode was way out of bounds. The fact that Alan had the balls to refer to himself and Denny as a comedy team was awesome.

I really appreciated seeing Denny questioning his own usefulness. Personally, I can really relate. There comes a time in everyone's life when you have to recognize that your life is not what it used to be, and to imagine other people seeing you differently than they used to can be a scary thought. As funny as it is to see him make a fool of himself, it was nice to see both Denny and Shatner putting things in perspective.

Here's a little addendum to this post: ABC is pushing the season finale of Boston Legal out of the May sweeps period.

The episode was supposed to run on May 22, but ABC has instead decided to squeeze one more "very special episode" of The Bachelor titled "After The Final Rose." This means that the season finale of Boston Legal won't air until the following Tuesday, May 29, at 10pm.

(S03E20) Wow, what a great episode. So many standout performances, not to mention one of the most brilliant scripts I have seen in a long time.

Let's begin with the guest cast. I loved seeing Christian Clemenson again. Ever since he played Socrates Poole he has struck me as a hard working actor and I am always amazed at his ability to portray characters that are hilarious and pitiful at the same time.

(S03E18) This is why television was invented.

I hardly know where to begin. Let's start with Alan and his hilarious storyline. It was a great idea to separate Alan & Denny for this episode and "Mr Wisenheimers" (Spader) dynamite delivery provided some much needed comic relief. Also, this is the second episode in a row to start with women in their underwear. I hope it becomes a trend.

Now for the rest of the episode. For those of you who foolishly didn't watch, the biggest deal in tonight's episode was that actual footage of a very young William Shatner is used for a series of flashbacks. This footage comes from an episode of Playhouse 90 entitled The Defender, which also starred Ralph Bellamy as Shatner's father. If that title sounds familiar it's because the episode was eventually turned into a series starring E.G. Marshall and Robert Reed. I should note that Shatner did play a lawyer later on in a series called Man of the People, but the footage used for tonight's show was definitely from a live performance.

Sure, I could have titled this post 'Why I'm Declaring a Mistrial on Boston Legal' or 'Case Adjourned on Boston Legal'. But, you're a smart bunch a people who aren't into the corny. So, let me be truthful for a moment and let you know why I'm no longer going to review Boston Legal.

I'm tired.

Well, that's only one reason, but a very important one. It's going to sound like a kvetch, I know, but it is a bit tiring to review a show week after week, particularly one that airs at the end of prime-time. You have to schedule for it, watch it in a different manner then you would if you were a normal viewer, and then cull the highlights of the show into a 10-15 paragraph review. When the show you're reviewing is getting a bit dull, writing a post on it can become a chore.

And, that's where I am with Boston Legal right now.

(S03E13) Shirley Schmidt: This is getting ugly.

Denny Crane: Denny Crane ugly.

The whole Denise-Brad-Jeffrey sex plot has got to go! At first I thought it was kind of amusing. But, after three weeks of it the whole storyline has reached the tiring stage, especially if you saw the scenes from next week's show. It's like watching an episode of The O.C., except with much older people. Frankly, I really don't care who Denise is sleeping with. Hell, she could be sleeping with Paul for all that matters (that would make a much better story). It's time to get past it and have these three focus on the Legal portion of Boston Legal.

Now, with that out of the way, let's press on with this week's fairly Alan Shore-free episode.

There are many fulfilling aspects to having and raising children. For example, you get to watch them grow from these tiny beings who need constant attention to boys and girls that can walk, and talk, and develop their own personalities. You share in their triumphs and their defeats and you work with them to learn from their mistakes in order to become better people. If you're lucky, they achieve greatness in one aspect or another and end up buying you that retirement home in Maui that you have always wanted.

Then there are the aspects to having and raising children that aren't as fulfilling, like scrubbing the carpet with OxyClean at 1:30 in the morning to get out the luscious aroma of your daughter's throw-up. This is what I've been doing for the last three nights. Not with just one daughter, but with all three of my daughters: the stomach virus that hit them was quick and nasty. Luckily, my son was spared a ride on the Vomit Express (so far), which is good, since he is having surgery to clear a blocked tear duct at the same time that you're probably reading this post.