TVSquad

ABC's newest stunt game show Crash Course looks exactly like the kind of show that bloggers and critics watch just so they could put their "Suck Extinguishers" to good use.

And yet 45 minutes of TV viewing later, I'm not even feeling the need to break the protective glass. On the surface, it appears to be just another reality/game show with typical contestants having their ids scared for life for cash and/or prizes and most of it is just that.

And even though it met those stereotypical expectations, I still didn't hate it. Part of me actually kind of (gulp) enjoyed it. Did I just swallow my brains along with my pride?

It could have been worse. It was a 90-minute premiere.

There was a time when I would have watched a show like this, in the 70s or maybe the 80s, when real celebrities would be involved instead of reality show stars. They were fun shows. I watched the first 60 minutes of The Superstars and then sort of snapped out of it, thinking, why am I watching this? Nothing really happened, and I decided I wouldn't care at all if anything did happen. Who cares if Jennifer Capriati loses a bike race?

Wipeout is mindless entertainment. The Superstars is stupid entertainment.

ABC had an earlier version of The Superstars, many years ago, and if I remember correctly the celebrities they had were actually stars. Tonight's celeb list includes David Charvet, Estella Warren, Dan Cortese, and Julio Iglesias (Junior). But at least the athletes are pretty well known. Skier Bode Miller and tennis player Jennifer Capriati should be interesting to watch, and Terrell Owens is there for some reality competition show drama.

"Our insurance bill is crazy," said executive producer Arthur Smith. This has to be one of the craziest ideas for a game show I've ever heard. I don't even think the Japanese do things like this, though ironically Smith and EP partner Kent Weed are also the men behind I Survived a Japanese Game Show. Now, they're bringing auto-competition to ABC with Crash Course. Man, I just can't see this ending well.

Think of the average reality show competitor. Then think of pairing them up with someone they know, putting them behind the wheel of a car and having them do things like drive on two wheels, or busting through walls. Or giving one of them control of the brake and the other the steering and gas. My god, there's a reason they have stunt people do these kinds of things on television and in the movies. The potential for horrifying flaming death is way higher than on any other reality shows. But at least we'll have the soothing voices of Dan Cortese and Orlando Jones to make us feel better about it. "Stop, drop and roll isn't going to put out that fire, Dan."