TVSquad

(S05E24) If you've been watching House for any serious length of time, you know that things are never what they seem. And, moreover, if you've seen any of the previous season finales of the show, you know that there are major fireworks in store. Going off the precedent set by last season's gut wrenching two-parter, "House's Head" and "Wilson's Heart", I was expecting a killer episode. So, for the first 30 minutes, I kept wondering when we were getting to the good stuff. After the final 10 minutes? Well, I reserve the right to change my mind, but after first viewing, it feels like a rotten bait and switch. Follow me after the jump for the big reveal.

Apparently, if you are a fan of House, and you want to see House and Cuddy get together, you are a "Huddy" fan. Not sure if this actually came from fans or from Fox marketing, but tonight's episode is being marketed specifically to the Huddy crew. There's even a promo spot on the Fox site that addresses that crowd by name, and shows titillating images of House and Cuddy together at the doorstep, Cuddy asking, "You want to kiss me, don't you?" House replies, "I always want to kiss you." This is cut with images of House and Cuddy shedding some clothing and pawing at each other.

Considering how much tension this kind of storyline brings up (think of how many people still remember Moonlighting for that reason alone, and even bring the show up whenever there is sexual or romantic tension between characters), you'd be expecting a lot to think that Lisa Edelstein (who plays Cuddy), on a conference call with reporters Friday, would give away too much. In fact, given all of the twists and turns this season has given us, you might expect her to have a little misdirection handy for when the inevitable questions come up.

EW.com's Michael Ausiello posted this blind item yesterday: "A major female character on a popular and highly rated hour-long drama series will learn that she's pregnant next month."

Other tidbits: The expectant character isn't thrilled to be pregnant. The timing, both personally and professionally, is really bad. The baby daddy's going through some stuff. And the bun in her oven may have company.

Ok, let's speculate here. My first thought is that it's Meredith Grey on Grey's Anatomy, since her real-life alter-ego Ellen Pompeo actually IS pregnant. But the timing isn't all that bad. She and Derek are getting married. They can use a distraction with Izzie's cancer taking center stage. And although he's had some issues, Derek seems to have pulled it together.

(S05E11) "Merry Christmas, Cuddy." - House to Cuddy on the potential adoption of her new baby

Once again it's Christmas at Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital. Or, rather, it was Christmas at a Princeton-Plainsboro of an alternate reality. That's because our favorite characters were opposite of their normal selves. Foreman was out of House's shadow, Kutner was angry, Cuddy came up with the diagnosis instead of House, Thirteen was smiling, and House was ... House was ...

(S05E09) Here's a bit of irony for ya. Before this week's episode of House began my family was in a lockdown situation of its own after someone, either a home invader or home owner, knocked out seven shots during the early afternoon right down the street from us. The police came along and ended up doing the yellow tape thing around the area, keeping the rest of us from going out until their fugitive search and investigation were done.

Sure, no one had a gun pointed at us. And, I wasn't in a hospital. And, I didn't have to take a series of drugs in order to prove they were safe. But, I was stuck in my house for over two hours. So, you know, I can relate. With that, let's get to this week's "very special" episode of House.

(S05E08) What is Foreman's role in House's little kingdom? From the deep recesses of my dusty brain I recall a conversation he had with Cuddy that his job was to be some sort of monitor to make sure House didn't, you know, rip the lungs out of a live patient just to make sure they were really and truly pink and healthy. But, to be honest, I haven't seen much monitoring going on over the last few episodes.

I have seen lots of sitting and moping and an all-around indecisiveness in Eric since he returned to Princeton-Plainsboro. Maybe he was regretting the decision he made, maybe he was still trying to learn from the feet of his mentor, or maybe he was reliving his past life as suicidal County General doc Dennis Gant from ER. That may have changed this week as, finally, he decided to branch out on his own.

(S05E05) All right, all you pervs! Calm down, calm down! You've all had a chance to see the promo that FOX distributed to promote this week's show and you all gave me a keypad-full on what you thought. So, just put it back in the place where you usually have it stored and let's move ahead with the review.

So, how about that examination scene, huh? Yowsa! Now that was porn! There was so much sexual tension it was oozing out of the screen. I'm surprised I didn't hear 'Bow-chicka-chicka-bow-bow' in the background -- the usual precursor to an extended sex scene. Not, you know, like I'm familiar with that genre of film. I mean, I've never seen a porn movie in my life. Ever. Hey, don't look at me that way!

Ahem. Sorry about that. Let's...uh...let's get going with this week's review.

(S05E01) "This is Dr. House. He's too brilliant for introductions." -- Thirteen to House's patient of the week

Another season of House, another patient with a mysterious ailment. If there is one thing that has not changed in the five seasons that this medical procedural has aired it is the fact that someone is going to enter Princeton-Plainsboro with an illness that can't be determined until the very last minute. It's why House is still on the air. Well, there's that, and then there's the fact that Hugh Laurie is a damn fine actor. Oh, and the others on the show don't do so badly themselves.

So, what can one viewer look forward to for this new season? If you think same-old, same-old then you would be absolutely, totally....incorrect. Because things are a-changing in Greg House's universe -- actually have been changing since the death of Amber in last season's finale -- that he can't, or won't, stop. The result? Well, I would be writing my own death sentence if I revealed it to you here. So, come and join me for a recap of this week's episode.

(S04E15) Do you remember what you were doing on May 16, 2004? Think hard, it's important. Seriously, that information could determine exactly how you feel about tonight's episode.

On May 16, 2004, The Sopranos aired an episode called "The Test Dream." Tony, reeling from an impending separation and problems in Mafia-town, went a little funny in the head and spent most of the episode engaged in the longest, most weirdly symbolic dream sequence in the history of television (until, that is, the show broke its own record two years later). If you remember, fans of the show were pretty angry; my father, for instance, shot out his screen, Elvis-style.

Anyway, I'm going to guess that you either loved that episode or hated it. How you felt about it probably informs how you felt about tonight's House. My own feelings about it are simple...

(S04E12) "People don't change." -- House, who mentioned it several times.

So Wilson is going out with Cutthroat Bitch (aka: Amber), huh? And, for awhile all is well. That's a pretty good record for Wilson, and devious as hell since he was able to keep it from House for so long. Of course, there is now a challenge for Greg to figure out why Amber seems such a catch for his best friend.

Manipulation? Well, that's a possible answer since Wilson is directly connected to House and can be the avenue to get her a fellowship. Revenge? Certainly, especially the way the good doctor treated Amber during the competition. Actual love and affection for Wilson? Nah, couldn't be! I mean, that would just be ludicrous coming from someone who was only concerned about herself during the game. Come on, doesn't anyone remember when she got all of those candidates to stop washing House's car and walk away from the competition? Plus, according to House, people don't change.

(S04E04) Wilson -- You're quite impressed with yourself right now, aren't you?

House -- Who wouldn't be?

After a brief baseball break, House returned with a pretty decent episode. Not only did we get to see a further fleshing out of the new characters, but also witnessed additional connection between the old and new team members. Plus, we found out that trying to find a job outside of Princeton-Plainsboro when you worked for House was not the best thing to do.

(S04E03) Do your sex organs dangle, cutthroat bitch? -- House, speaking to Amber

Geez, Jen got the easy reviewcap last week. I think there were 32 different subplots in this week's episode of House. It was almost like watching an episode of Lost. Well, might as well sit down and get comfortable, because here we go.

We were graced with two different patients this week. The main one, and the one that the remaining candidates worked on, was a young man who had a degenerative muscular condition who suddenly fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. The second patient, the one that was treated by House alone, had recently been in an auto accident and was seemingly suicidal.

(S03E06) Hello, my name is Jen, and I will be covering House for Tom Biro this evening. To our right, please notice that Michael Tritter, policeman extraordinaire is still with us, and searching House's house for narcotics. Tritter has been called the anti-House, but let's examine the evidence. He is vengeful, like House. He breaks into people's apartments and searches for evidence, just like House. He is addicted to Nicorette gum, just like House. I think House even points out correctly that Tritter is taking out his anti-smoking frustrations on House-- why not? House takes out his pain on everybody else too. Especially when he can't have his drug of choice.

(S03E04) Quick question: a) is House getting a little bit unrealistic this season or b) am I just off my gourd? I'm not usually one to nitpick at television shows, because c'mon, they're television shows, and only partially reality in the case of a show like House. I've got to say that there were a couple things last night that bugged me, most prominently Foreman's quick-to-grab attitude when he wanted to bring Adam, the autistic child, into a scanner, and he was complaining about only having half an hour to do so, and grabbing at the kid's PSP unit to try and take it away and move him along. If there's anything on this show that is just not going to happen, especially in the case of an autistic child, it's that. Just seemed a little out of place, though not necessarily out of character for Foreman. Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't to say that I'm in any way frustrated to not be watching this show, it just seems to be a bit "different" to me.

What I *loved* about this week's episode was how Cameron kept trying to diagnose what House was doing by having his meetings with his team in various rooms in the hospital, since he said he would not work in his office until the old carpeting was back, with his bloodstain from last season's finale. Additionally, it was fascinating to see Cuddy and Wilson discussing the possibility that House could have Asperger's Syndrome, which is a "mild and rare" type of Autism, so perhaps that was why he took the case in the first place. Wilson's primary belief for this was how his pal reacted to not being able to have the carpet in his office, and how he was compensating and "fighting back" elsewhere, such as taking the conference room at the same time Cuddy was set to have a meeting. Best of all, this week, we have the return of House's teenage stalker.