TVSquad

(S04E13) Damn, that should have been my epiphany.

Tonight's episode of House made me wish it was 1995 and I was still living in the freshmen dorms at Trenton State College. If I were back in college, I would be able to wander out to the hallway right now and start a philosophical conversation about what is more important: your happiness or your health? I mean after all, bra, what's the point of being healthy if you're unable to enjoy it? I could then go on to question whether the color blue was the same for me as it is for everyone else. Deeeeeeeeep.

Well, I don't have a freshmen dorm at my disposal, but I do have TV Squad. Epiphanies, philosophy, and syphilis after the jump...

Jack Palance is one of those actors who has been around for so long and has been seen in so many varied projects, that when he dies, every type of entertainment publication feels compelled to run his obituary.

Palance died today of natural causes in his California home. He was 87. Palance is probably best known for his long career playing tough-guy roles in movies like Shane and City Slickers (for which he won an Oscar and did those one-handed pushups at the ceremony). On TV, played the lead role on Playhouse 90's landmark 1957 production of Requiem for a Heavyweight, which won a Peabody award. But younger TV fans will likely remember him as the host of the show Ripley's Believe It or Not, which ran from 1982-1986 on ABC.

God, was it creepy when he ended one of those segments about someone with two noses or some other equally freaky subject by slowly saying in his calm, low tone, "Believe it... (inhale) or not." Gave the teenaged me the willies. But I tuned in each and every week. Gonna miss the guy.

Why is it that no one can make an infomercial where people are sincerely speaking off the cuff about whatever it is they're selling, instead of reading off a script or teleprompter? It never looks natural; in fact, it often makes the infomercial take on a creepy quality. This is especially true when said infomercial takes on a talkshow format, with one guy behind a desk and one guy in a chair next to him, sort of what Letterman would look like if we lived in the Bizarro world.

One such ad is for books from Bottom Line Health.

Bob's recent post about Madame got me thinking about all the puppets that have appeared on television over the years, and specifically the ones that creeped me the heck out. If you're like me and some of those characters that were meant to entertain you only left you with nightmares and a life-long fear of anything even remotely puppet-like, share your tales of woe in the comments. Think of this as group therapy. Let's get started:

Madame: This aging diva may have been hilarious, but as a very young child when I saw her on shows like Hollywood Squares and Solid Gold she only managed to send me cowering behind the sofa. That jutting chin! That piercing voice! Those horrible satanic eyes! Clearly, she was the Banshee of Celtic lore, and I imagined that after every show she returned to her real occupation: flying around screaming to portend the death of Irish family members.