TVSquad

Hot from this morning's Variety: NBC has purchased the rights to a new script by O.C. writer John Stephens. Warner Brothers TV will produce the show under a previous deal Stephens made with the peacock network.

The premise of the show? What starts as a normal cop-show takes a "hilariously horrifying" twist when the not-so-super police officers have to face the likes of vampires, mummies and other supernatural ghouls -- return of werewolf man?

Steve Wilkos, the tough security guard who keeps rednecks from getting too feisty on The Jerry Springer Show now has his own gabfest. NBC Universal Domestic Television Distribution recently sold the syndicated series to stations owned by Tribune and Sinclair. The show is still untitled, but look for the former marine and cop to offer his own brand of tough love and sound advice.

You may be asking yourself why the hell you should listen to advice from Wilkos. The real question is, why should you take advice from anyone on television? It's not like Oprah knows you any better than Wilkos does. Really, the only person on television you should trust is the Hamburger Helper glove. When he says he can make beef more exciting, I believe him. He's never steered me wrong before.

FOX has ordered a pilot for a new cop show with the working title of New Amsterdam. The new series is about a cop who, unbeknownst to everyone, is actually centuries old because he's cursed with immortality. I always thought that was the plot of Colombo, shows what I know. Allan Loeb and Christian Taylor wrote the pilot script, but beyond that not much is known about the series. I like to think the cop will spend most of the episodes lusting after septuagenarians who are way too young for him.

Also, it took me longer than I care to admit to piece together that "New York" used to be called "New Amsterdam," hence the immortal cop has been there a long time. I'm a bit slow at times, but I get there eventually.

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Homer: Marge, you being a cop makes you the man, which makes me the woman, and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which, as we discussed, is strictly a "comfort" thing.

This episode begins with Marge and Homer attending an outdoor symphony. On the way back home, Homer warns Marge to be careful since the streets are dangerous, especially for "upper lower middle class types." He tells Marge not to trust anyone, but of course he fails to take his own advice and gets swindled by Snake with a game of three-card monty. Marge exposes Snake's cheating, and he takes off running. Since no one will chase him, Marge takes after him and corners him in an alley. When he pulls a knife on her, her instincts kick in and she smacks him with a garbage can lid, knocking him out cold.

Brett Ratner, AKA The Man Who Killed The X-Men, is bringing his poisonous talent to FOX. Whoa- sorry. Guess I'm still a little angry about The X-Men III: The Last Stand. Ratner and writing partner Neil Tolkin are producing a series based on the popular book, Blue Blood. The book is written by a Harvard graduate who decided to go into the family business of law enforcement (the author also writes for The New Yorker). Reviews of the book were positive, saying that the author, Edward Conlon, shows a side to the police force that is never accurately portrayed on television or in movies. The book chronicles Conlon's days as a rookie and goes up through 9/11.

A courtroom in the Bronx was full on Monday when former Sopranos actor Lillo Brancato Jr. and a friend were arraigned on murder charges. Brancato and his buddy, Steven Armento, are accused of shooting a cop who caught them by surprise during a robbery on December 10th.

The courtroom was filled with spectators, including the parents of the dead police officer, Daniel Enchuategui. The families of Brancato and Armento were also there, as well as a handful of police officers. An estimated 150 off-duty police officers stood outside the courtroom in a show of support for the fallen officer.

How's this for a fantastic premise: a driven and ambitious young British detective is determined to keep the streets of 21st Century Manchester safe. But after a near fatal car accident, he wakes up, dazed and confused, in 1973.

David Bowie's Life on Mars is playing on his iPod when he crashes, hence the title.

That's the background on a new series, Life on Mars, starting on BBC ONE in the U.K. on Monday 9 January, starring John Simm (24 Hour Party People) as Sam Tyler and Philip Glenister (Calendar Girls) as DCI Gene Hunt.

As you can imagine, poor Sam is like a fish out of water, with obscure moralities and strange views on the tough attitudes of tough-nut British detectives in the 1970s.

TV Squad will be watching the bizarre time-travelling cop drama, so expect some updates when the series kicks in.