TVSquad

A few weeks ago, I posted the list of things that only happen on TV. You wrote really great comments which triggered me to write a post about the things you, the TV Squad readers, think only happen on TV. What I didn't expect then was the amount of replies this second article would get. You provided some fantastic and funny items to add to the list. So here we go with part two of the things that TV Squad readers think only happen on TV.

This article on Lifehacker.com lists a bunch of different ways to catch various TV episodes online for free. Since the name of the site involves the word "hacker", one can assume that some of these methods may not be entirely legal. Repeat at your own risk.

As someone who doesn't own any kind of recording device for the TV but has a great computer monitor, I tend to go to the network websites to catch episodes of certain shows. I'd hate to miss a week of Heroes or Bionic Woman and I'm glad the networks offer a chance to watch missed episodes online at one's leisure with minimal commercial interruption.

Muppet fans know that some characters evolve while others just spring up from out of nowhere. Cookie Monster, for example, began life as somewhat more ferocious-looking monster (the row of sharp teeth helped) in several commercials before being toned down and brought to Sesame Street.

In the clip below, a pre-Sesame Street Cookie Monster devours a machine while the machine describes how it works and what its many functions are. Actually, it only has one main function, but you'll have to watch the clip for that.

(S11E08)

Peggy: There's a brown spot on the lawn, and there is a brown spot on your son.

Wow, a whole hour of King of the Hill. I must say I thought this one had more yucks than the other episode.

Jack Bauer is a good name. It's a strong name that doesn't denote much ethnicity. It's the name of a fictional American hero.

And now it's also the name of a computer programmer in Britain. Tim Annan, 35, loves 24 so much that he has changed his name to 'Jack Bauer'. And he makes people at work call him that. He says, "It beats being plain Tim from Watford." Yes. Now he's "crazy Tim from Watford." No word on whether he does a lot of heavy breathing into a cell phone like his alter-ego.

According to British newspaper The Sun, the British Jack Bauer is single. Surprise, surprise.

Huh?

Not sure I get what SalesGenie does, but then again I haven't been involved in sales and marketing for quite some time. You go to their site and you can get sales leads? What type of sales leads? Any industry, any business? How do you qualify those leads? Are they up to date?

Then again, if I'm asking the question and I'm not even into sales anymore, I'm sure a lot of business types will be going over to their web site and checking out exactly what this is all about. Is the ad effective? If you want salespeople to go to your site, I guess it is.

If you're a Netflix subscriber but can't stand waiting for those DVDs to arrive in the mail, I have some good news for you: over the next six months, the company will be rolling out a new feature that will allow subscribers to stream movies and TV shows directly to their computer. Initially, subscribers will be able to choose from about 1,000 movies and TV shows out of the over 70,000 offered through the company's mail service. Users will have to download a browser application in order to take advantage of the new service.

The service will be included as part of the subscription plan at no extra cost. As a Netflix customer, I'm thrilled to have another way of viewing these shows, though I have a feeling the majority of my rentals will still be done through ye olde postal service. I don't really have any desire to watch movies on my computer, at least not until I get a more comfortable computer chair.

As I said in my review of the South Park episode "Make Love, Not Warcraft," I've never seen nor played that particular game in my life, but like anything else, to many people it borders on a kind of obsession. A few World of Warcraft fans took it upon themselves to add a list of incongruities to the episode's Wikipedia page, pointing out various places throughout the episode where the game the kids are playing differs from the actual version. Most of those claims have been removed from the entry, but you can read a spirited discussion about the relevance of those claims here, and if you really feel like killing time, you can pore through the entry's history. Ah, nerds and the Web, they fit together just like peanut butter and jelly. Admittedly, I'm a nerd myself, but for cartoons. World of Warcraft I couldn't care less about, but if I found some misinformation on Mr. Magoo you can be sure I'd have something to say about it. We all have our weaknesses, after all.

[via Digg]

(S10E08)

Cartman: You can just hang around outside all day tossing a ball around, or you can sit at your computer and do something that matters.

I think I can say with almost absolute certainty that South Park is the first television show in history where a character actually uses the word "pwnage." Since I'm online doing this here blogging thing all the time I caught that particular phrase, though there was a lot in this show I didn't understand, since I've neither seen nor played Warcraft before. The episode gently mocked those who do nothing but play Warcraft, but at the same time, it made it clear what an awesome game it is. It was funny to watch everyone become so immersed in the game they begin to think of it as real life, but it did make me think back to my younger days when a particularly difficult Nintendo game would cause me to throw my controller across the room in anger. I guess we're all susceptible to the allure of these games. Well, not all of us, but those of us with nerdly tendencies. Truth be told, I think that, like Butters, Hello Kitty Island Adventure is more up my alley.

(S01E07) Well, this was never one of my favorite episodes of The X-Files and, as it turns out, the writer wasn't too fond of it either. According to The X-Files wiki, writer Howard Gordon described this episode as "one of my biggest disappointments". Apparently, FOX thought the computer-comes-to-life story was a bit "pedestrian" for The X-Files. I have to agree.

(S01E07) In this episode we don't see too much of an effort by the powers-that-be in the Village to get Number 6 to give information as to why he resigned. Here, we get to see up close some of the reasons why the villagers seem so robotic and obediant and incapable of expressing any individual thoughts or opinions.

One clue might be SpeedLearn, an instruction platform that allows a person to learn and comprehend a university level course in just three minutes. (A precursor to the Evelyn Wood Speed Reading Courses?) The courses are taught by "The Professor" with support from "The General". Sounds like a great idea, doesn't it? Who needs to sit in a classroom for months on end and be inundated with useless information?

We then see a man being pursued by a mob of people on the beach, and Number 6 discovering a cassette recorder in the sand, which turns out to be some sort of message from The Professor that doesn't exactly fit Number 2's expectations. (BTW, this is the same Number 2 who appeared in "A, B, and C".)

Well, he didn't really write a letter Ann Coulter, but he does in this funny clip. Fair warning, the clip contains some bad language, and is probably NSFW, unless you have headphones on. It's pretty amusing, though I'll be the first to say that these two have at least one thing in common, which is that I don't really care about either of their political beliefs. Nevertheless, Rollins' "love letter" did have me cracking up at least a couple times, especially the part about memorizing every line of Caddyshack. I also think that should be required of all my romantic conquests. It seems like a perfectly legitimate request.

John Hodgman, author of The Areas of My Expertise and 'Resident Expert' on The Daily Show, is starring in the new advertisements for Apple. Hodgman plays a PC. With his hair combed the way it is and his glasses and suit, he kind-of resembles Bill Gates, doesn't he? Just like on The Daily Show, Hodgman plays it totally straight and it's pretty darn funny. Either he's a PC with a cold, or he has to restart, or he can't talk to the hot Japanese girl who is talking to the cool Mac. Interestingly, the super-hip Mac is played by Justin Long, who has played some memorable geeky roles in Galaxy Quest and Dodgeball.

Check out all the ads here. My favorite personal favorite is 'Viruses'.

Call me crazy, but I think Disney may have its demographics messed up. It is creating a computer video game based on Desperate Housewives. The player will take on the role of a new housewife and uncover or create new scandals. Brenda Strong, who plays Mary Alice on the live-action show, has already signed on with Disney to do a voice on the game. The other cast members are in negotiations.

I think I'd create a nasty housewife who befriends Gabrielle and feeds her lots of food that she swears is fat free, so Gabrielle gains a bunch of weight and no one wants her. What kind of scandal would you create on DH?

Last month, I broke up with my TiVo. Thanks to the support from TV Squad readers, we have reconciled. Unfortunately, things are getting a little bit rocky in our relationship.

It's been a month since I put my old DirecTV TiVo in the garage and replaced it with two new TiVos, a 40-hour machine named Patrick and an 80-hour one named SpongeBob. We hooked the boxes up to cable (which is inferior to satellite) and to our home's wireless network. Poor Patrick is having a rough time. He keeps crashing and resetting himself. SpongeBob crashes about once a day. The last straw was Friday night when Patrick crashed and wiped out Battlestar Galactica.