TVSquad

You know what's strange about Dunkin Donuts' new commercial for their Wake-Up Wrap? It's not the guy who has tightened his belt so much he now looks like an action figure, it's the woman. She's riding the elevator to her office and just holding her wrap and her coffee drink. It's not in a bag and she hasn't taken a bite out of the wrap yet. She's just standing their holding both of them so they look good for the camera. Necessary I guess, just odd.

When Rachael Ray signed on to promote Dunkin' Donuts, it always seemed like the pairing was a curious one. Whatever you may think of her shows or her recipes, almost everything she endorsed up until that time was of reasonable quality. Don't get me wrong, I like DD's coffee -- if I make it at home. But whenever I get it at a store, it tastes like crap most of the time. I don't know if they skimp on grounds, use too much water, or don't clean their coffee machines, but the result is almost always the same weak, bitter brew no matter which store I go to (at least the ones here in New Jersey).

So it didn't surprise me to read this piece on New York magazine's website that speculates that Ray Ray doesn't think much of DD's coffee, either.

Welcome to TV Squad Lists (formerly 'The Five'), a feature where each blogger has a chance to list his or her own rundown of things in television that stand out from the rest, both good and bad.

Ah, the friendly neighborhood drinking hole. In one way or another, they're there to give you that much needed morning/evening buzz before/after work or school. In what order you visit them is up to you. We've seen our fair share of these booze and caffeine shoppes on TV throughout the years, and here's my pick for the top 18 -- why settle for just ten?

1) Cheers (Cheers) -- Let's get right down to it and start with the obvious number one choice before we move on. I'm not going to insult you with dragging you on to the end to see what is very obviously the most famous of all TV bars. And since I'm from the area, I have no business not making this number one.

Sure, we all like sex, violence and cursing, but if you're like me, sometimes you like to pour yourself a nice cup of tea, settle into the couch, and watch something that's a bit more stimulating to the ol' gray matter. Therefore, here's a few shows coming up on PBS you might want to check out. Note that the first couple shows will air during the pledge period, so you'll have to check your listings for the exact date and time.

Kenny Rogers: The Journey (check local listings for date and time) - This combination concert and retrospective looks at forty years of Rogers' work, including interviews with the musician and singer.

This is really great news, because I was truly afraid that Ray wasn't going to have enough work to do an might find herself unemployed of something.

Yup, the coffee and donut chain has hired the host of the syndicated Rachael Ray, the host of 30 Minute Meals, the host of Tasty Travels, the maker of her own knives and olive oil, and the editor of Every Day With Rachael Ray magazine to be their new spokesperson. As Rachael herself puts it: "Having grown up in the Northeast, I have a longstanding and deep appreciation for Dunkin'."

Besides being their spokesperson, Ray will actually help come up with new food and beverage products.

Great, Rachael Ray on caffeine. That's all we need.

Oh, aren't there more important stories to worry about in these times?

There's a scandal brewing in the TV news and donut-loving communities (I guess it's no surprise that those two different communities would overlap some day). It seems that CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric mentioned how much she likes the Munchkins over at Dunkin' Donuts on her blog, and then Dunkin Donuts sent her "a gazillion of them...boxes...along with crates of piping hot coffee." Of course, this sent bloggers and people who comment on blogs over the edge, accusing Couric of breaking ethical rules and getting paid off.

Calm down, breathe, and think about this rationally. Do you think Couric wrote this so she could get free donuts? Do you really, really think that getting some free food from a local business is going to sway the way Couric covers the company or, um, donuts in general? Alarm clock catastrophe!

At this point I'd just like to say I love the new Lexus.

[via Gawker]

So I'm watching AMC's Sunday Morning Shootout this morning (a show I try not to miss even though Peter Bart often infuriates me), and I notice that they've completely changed their set. It used to be a real-looking coffeehouse set, with tables and booths and customers in the background and a counter where they would make coffee for the guests and serve them. Now, the set is different. It still seems to have the same colors as the old set and the movie posters, but it's a lot smaller, there are no other customers or tables in the background, and even the counter is gone, replaced with a wall and some coffee urns and a rack. It now looks like the far corner of some Border's cafe, or maybe someone's house. Why the change?

It's too bad we won't get anymore moments like the time Vince Vaughn was on the show. He not only picked up his coffee from the "clerk" at the counter, but he actually paid for it! That was pretty funny.

(S01E01) "By the power of all that is evil I command you to awaken and make me a sandwich!"

This is an early review courtesy of Adult Swim Fix.

Are you metal? I don't mean are you made of a durable alloy of some sort, I mean do you RAWK* in every conceivable way that one can RAWK? I think I used to be slightly metal, but my frail body couldn't take it so I had to give it up for folk music. Sad, really.

Anyway, Dethklok is a death metal band of mythical proportions, a group of five musicians who so embody everything that is metal they're unable to really function in any other capacity. They're the idiot savants of metal, which is just fine because their worldwide fan base has made them worth billions of dollars. In the premiere episode, over 300,000 fans gather at the Arctic Circle to hear one song from the band, a jingle they've written for a coffee commercial. Lead singer Nathan Explosion insists the band has not sold out, and that they will not only make coffee metal, they'll make EVERYTHING metal. Encased inside a gigantic cube, the band parachutes from their restaurant/helicopter, missing their target and smashing several people in the process. Then the cube opens its spiked doors to reveal the stage, also killing more people. During the song large pots of coffee are poured onto audience members, burning the skin off their bones. This is why all fans are forced to sign "pain waivers" before entering a Dethklok concert.

Before The Muppet Show came along, a few of Jim Henson's puppet creations appeared in a series of commercials. Several very funny (and very violent) ads were made for Wilkins Coffee that featured a sorta Kermit-like figure trying to convince a squat, rather shapeless puppet how great Wilkins is. The puppet always refuses, and the other puppet responds by shooting him, or blowing him up, or electrocuting him, or whatever. It's like a more sadistic version of Green Eggs and Ham. What I like about these old commercials is that they're actually really funny, and other than the image of the Wilkins Coffee can at the end, absolutely nothing is said whatsoever about the coffee or why it's worth buying. There's a montage clip after the jump, but I also invite you to check out a bunch more of these commercials here.