TVSquad

(S02E22) I need to pay more attention to the opening credits, because I had no idea Kelsey Grammer directed this episode. You can see a video of Grammer talking about it here.

First of all, I loved how Chris' dad thinks everything can be fixed with duct tape. Who knew Julius and Red Green had something in common?

This episode had me, and then it lost me. When Chris decides to final exact revenge on Caruso, I was all set up. This was going to be yet another great episode of a series that never relies to heavily on sitcom conventions for its humor, but by the end, that's exactly what the episode had done. I'm sure a bunch of cats being turned loose in a school might work on a lesser show, but it's an idea that seems way too "sitcom-y" for a show like Chris. Also, isn't the show supposed to be based, at least somewhat, on Chris Rock's real childhood? What school did he attend that would allow him the ample time he needed to set up such an elaborate prank?

(S02E19) You can watch the episode here if you missed it.

I've never really gambled, as that whole concept is a little too complex for me. My brain just isn't wired to keep track of money, statistics, and all those other things needed to gamble successfully.

In Chris' neighborhood, everyone gambles, whether it be on sports or on which kid happens to be your real son. Chris also gets sucked into helping his boss, Doc, bet on sports when it's discovered that Chris knows a lot about the sports teams, even if he himself is a terrible athlete.

This week, Martina McBride will be coaching the remaining seven Idol finalists with their country music selections. McBride, considered the "Celine Dion of country music," will also perform her Top-5 single "Anyway" during Wednesday's live results show (April 18) on FOX.

Oh boy, this is going to be a rough week for me. I'm not much of a country music fan, so the songs aren't going to be familiar (unless they all perform Shania Twain or Faith Hill). The contestants already butchered Latin-themed music last week, under the guidance of Jennifer Lopez. But, I have a feeling that this week could be worse.

(S02E16) One of the things I like so much about Everybody Hates Chris is that, at least on some levels, I can relate to what Chris goes through: I know what it was to grow up with not a lot of money, and I also know what it was like being one of the unpopular kids in school.

Of course, there are some things about young Chris' life I can't really relate to, such as living in a rough neighborhood. Gold chains have become popular in Chris' neighborhood, and so has "chain snatching," the art of ripping someone's gold chain right off their neck. Malvo returns in this episode, and when he tries to steal a chain from Vanessa (Jackee Harry), Chris warns her. Malvo, a career criminal, is none too happy about it and tells Chris to get him a gold chain by tomorrow.

(S02E04)

Chris Rock: Who knew the secret for a guy getting girls was for a guy to get a girl?

I have a friend who came up with the somewhat gauche term "girlfriend stink" to describe that air of confidence a guy has when he's in a relationship that suddenly makes him attractive to women who normally would want nothing to do with him. Chris finds out what that's all about when rumors start to circulate around the neighborhood that he and Tasha, the new girl next door, are dating. Chris figures as long as he responds to every query with "hey, well, you know..." he's safe, since it's a noncommittal answer, but really he just doesn't want anyone to think he's a loser who can't get any girls. Apparently he doesn't realize he's the star of a sitcom about how much it sucks to be a teenager.

(S02E01)

Keisha, Chris' unrequited love, is getting ready to move out of Brooklyn:

Chris: Hey, where y'all movin' to?

Keisha: We're going to this place in California. It's supposed to be really, really nice. Palm trees, and lawns, and no violence and no crime.

Chris: Well, what's it called?

Keisha: Compton.

(S05E17) What can you say about an episode of a cartoon that shows that the universe was invented by God farting?

This episode had a big Simpsons vibe to it, where one character tells a historical story and the characters from the show serve as the historical characters as well. This one had Peter telling the rest of the family the story of the Griffin family as they all hide out in a panic room while robbers break into the house. It all starts with the dinosaurs, and the show helpfully gives both the theory of evolution and the intelligent design theory (Jeannie blinked everything into existence).

Pickler's gone! I'm not nearly as torn up about that as I would have imagined I would have been if I knew that 3 months ago. She came across as way too ditzy and not nearly as innocent as we had all originally thought. Plus, I've heard she's absolutely hell on wheels in real life. Oh and her singing yada yada yada, but let's be honest, that's not what this competition is about. Come join me and the rest of the American Idol fanatics tonight as we chat live during the show. As with all of our chats, you must have AIM or a compatible chat client (Trillian, GAIM, etc), once you have that, meet back here to this very post at 8pm ET, and that's when I'll unveil the location for our super secret chat room. See you then!

Update:
Come one, come all;  here is the super secret location for our American Idol Chat! Look for me (TVSRyan) in the chat room. See you inside.

Disclaimer: All or parts of the discussion in this chatroom may be posted in a later column on this site.

(S05E14) For some reason, Peter starts writing his own porn stories after finding the writing in a porn book to be lacking. This leads to a truly bizarre scene involving some sort of rat (dog?) couple who can't afford to pay their landlord, and the landlord (Peter) says he'll let it go if he can have sex with the rat (dog?) wife.

To be honest, I'm not even sure what the hell was going on there, it was so disturbing.

I watched this earlier today and I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know, I just find it funny. It's not every day that you get references to the Olympics, eye boogers, and Mac computers all in one 30 second clip of a TV show.

You can also check out preview clips from this week's 24 and Big Love, but they're not as funny.

Well, if there's one reason I'm glad I watched tonight's ep is because I learned exactly how a vasectomy is done. Thanks to the barbershop quartet singing about the procedure and the handy diagram of the scrotum, I now know exactly what it entails.

Peter is going to have a vasectomy, so he decides to freeze is sperm before he does it. This leads to an hysterical yet truly gross scene where Peter knocks over an entire shelf of sperm samples, and has to refill them, um, himself. Flash forward nine months, and a woman gives birth to another Stewie, named Bertram.

Another week, another round of American Idol. Right now we have eight guys and eight girls, and in a little over 24 hours, we'll be down to our final twelve contestants, and off to the big stage. Tonight the guys have a chance to upstage the girls, which, hasn't been too hard up until this point. Last week there were only a few standouts. Will the guys get their act together and finally start to take some risks? Join me tonight, right back here to this very post, at 8pm EST and that's when we'll unveil the secret location for the room. I'll be in there under the ID of TVSRyan. Can't wait, I'll see you there!

Update:
Come one, come all;  here is the super secret location for our American Idol Chat! Look for me (TVSRyan) in the chat room. See you inside.

Disclaimer: All or parts of the discussion in this chatroom may be posted in a later column on this site.

I don't know if this has aired yet (I always forget that Family Guy has had many new episodes this summer), but it's hysterical. Seamless mix of animation, and I love the way Chris says "I don't know!" to Lois at the end. 

Such a deranged idea, but classic!