TVSquad

One of the highlights of this year's primetime Emmys is going to be musical. That's right, I'm psychic. I've looked into the future and can tell you without equivocation that Josh Groban singing a medley of TV themes from 60 years of programs will stop the show.

On September 21, the night ABC broadcasts the big anniversary of the Primetime Emmys, producer Ken Ehrlich has tapped balladeer Groban for a four-minute medley of TV themes. The mind reels with the possibilities of how many memorable melodies he can fit into 240 seconds.

Some choices seem obvious: Cheers (where everybody knows your name), The Jeffersons (movin' on up to the big time), The Beverly Hillbillies (black gold, Texas T), The Flintstones (they're a modern stone-aged family).

Like I said, the possibilities are vast, and the promise of a something hilarious is sure fire.

Ted Danson is one of those actors who just keeps chugging along through the years. He could have easily disappeared after Cheers, but he's been working steadily in both movies and TV.

Becker sort of flew under the radar, but aired from 1998 to 2004. There was the short-lived Help Me Help You in 2006. Danson even voiced a part on King of the Hill (Tom Hammond in "The Accidental Tourist" episode).

But it's his stint as the sinister Arthur Frobisher in Damages that's brought him into the forefront again. It also helped to catapult him into his next gig -- a lead role in HBO's comedy pilot Bored to Death.

Here are the new TV DVDs, in stores tomorrow.

Wait a second: Honey West is out on DVD?! And it's not even one of those lame "Season 1, Volume 2" deals it's an actual complete series? I never thought this show would come out on DVD (Quark I thought might because of its cult status), but I find myself saying that less and less these days, and that's a good thing.

As for It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, that's not one of my favorite animated holiday specials, but I think I'll get it so I can say I have them all.

• Arthur - Season 11
• Big Bang Theory - Season 1
• Charlie Brown - It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
• Cheers - Season 10
• Desperate Housewives - Season 4
• Doctor Who - The Invisible Enemy with K9 and Company: A Girl's Best Friend and The Invasion of Time
• Eli Stone - Season 1
• Faerie Tale Theatre - Complete Series
• Ghost Hunters - Live
• Ghost Whisperer - Season 3
• Honey West - Complete Series
• Life - Season 1
• Little People, Big World - Season 2, Vol. 1
• Living with Ed - Season 2
• The Office - Season 4
• Quark - Complete Series
• Supernatural - Season 3

Welcome to Subtle Subtitles. For those of you who are uninitiated to the purpose of this feature, we're asking you to come up with your funniest quote or description for what's going on in the screen grab we choose for the week. Winners are announced in the following Friday's contest.

Last contest's winner: miller980

"Let's see how much beer we can suck out of Norm!"

This week, in honor of The X-Files week here at TV Squad, a scene from the episode titled 'Dreamland' ...

We swear we had nothing to do with this, though the timing is perfect for our Cheers Week.

CBS Studios is suing a bar in Rockford, Illinois for using the Cheers name. TMZ has the documents. The court papers say that the bar is not only using the same name as the famous Boston bar from the TV show (which has spawned several other bars and many collectibles), they're also using a similar logo. They're accusing the bar of trademark infringement, false designation of origin, and unfair competition. The name of the bar in question is Cheers of Rockford (here's their web site).

The court documents are really interesting (if long). They really get into the history of the show, what has happened to the show since it ended in 1993, and what trademarks CBS owns. You can also see a comparison of the original Cheers logo and the one used by the Rockford bar.

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

With the exception of Coach, no one knows exactly what became of the gang at Cheers. What follows is a collection of hypothetical obits for the regulars at everyone's favorite Boston hangout.

Hilary "Norm" Peterson
1948-2002
"Norm" Peterson was struck down by a fatal heart attack after attending a party honoring a friend in Seattle. Mr. Peterson was a loving husband, talented house painter and an accountant. He is survived by his wife Vera, who requests to be left to grieve in private. Services will be held at the The Hungry Heifer in Boston.

"Deedee Chappel. Get ready to unzip your pants!" - Lowell

That's one of my favorite lines in TV history, and I'm happy to say it was uttered in a show I had the pleasure of being an extra in many years ago, NBC's Wings. A great friend of mine, Suzanne, worked on the show and, since I was going out to Los Angeles for a vacation, she got me on the set as an extra. The episode was titled "If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother" and guest-starred Debbie Reynolds. It was filmed in October of 1994 and aired on November 22.

All of these lists are starting to get more and more specific. This one is a list of the ten best sitcoms since 1980. Soon we'll have the 8 1/2 best hour long dramas that appeared between 1988 and 1994 on Sunday nights (that start with "J").

But lists always get us talking and this one has some great picks. Arrested Development fanatics will be glad to see their show on the list (I won't tell you where you'll have to click the link above), along with shows like Scrubs, Cheers, and Sports Night. But there is one show that is obviously missing. There might be more than one show that isn't on the list that should be, of course, but this show stood out to me immediately. Can you guess what it is? I'll name it after the jump but don't click ahead until you read the list and guess yourself.

It didn't take long for Kelsey Grammer to bounce back from his Back to You flop stint. The Fox sitcom, a high profile one at that with Emmy-winner Patricia Heaton as his co-star, was dumped by the network recently. Kelsey was so bummed out that he even tried to get other networks, CBS in particular, to pick up the news room comedy. No dice. Back to You was a dead shark.

Now, less than two weeks later, Kelsey Grammer has been cast in a new ABC sitcom called Roman's Empire. This is big news for a big star and he's the emperor in the title. He's playing Roman.

Roman's Empire is not a three-camera, traditional sitcom, which has been Grammer's playground since Cheers. Frasier may have been one of the best three-camera sitcoms ever. As an actor, Kelsey's accustomed to having an audience watching him work. Empire is a single-camera comedy -- like The Office or My Name Is Earl or Samantha Who? -- and revolves around a nice guy named Leo (Nick Thune), who's dumped by his heiress-like girlfriend (Christine Woods), but remains connected to her crazy family, the Prettys. That's especially true of Roman Pretty, the family patriarch, an outspoken, outrageous character.

Here are the new TV DVDs, in stores tomorrow.

• Are You Afraid of the Dark? - Season 6
• Beverly Hills, 90210 - Season 4
• Burke's Law - Season 1, Vol. 1
• Cheers - Season 9
• Dark Shadows - The Beginnings Collection 4
• Desperate Housewives - Seasons 1-3
• Grey's Anatomy - Seasons 1-3
• I Spy - Seasons 1, 2, and 3 (Remastered)
• Joey - Season 2
• Lost - Seasons 1-3
• Roswell - Seasons 1, 2, and 3
• Sabrina The Teenage Witch - Complete Series (Animated)
• Scrubs - Seasons 1-6
• The Waltons - Season 7
• A Touch of Frost - Season 13
• The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles - Vol. 3: Years of Change

I was looking over a "Where are they now?" feature our friends at AOL put together on the cast of Cheers, and a few of the mysteries of the long-running sitcom classic came to mind. These were head-scratchers big and small that made me wonder if the writers are the most clever geniuses ever to man a word processor (it was the '80s, after all) or, like in most sitcoms, consistency of story was the first thing to go if a good joke came up in the writers' room.

I guess I should just go over to Ken Levine's blog and ask him, since he wrote for the show for many years. But if I did that, I wouldn't get paid for it. So, after the jump are the biggest Cheers mysteries, starting with the biggest and most obvious one:

Earlier today, we reported on NBC's fall lineup. The most intriguing nugget: the long rumored Office spinoff is, indeed, happening this year. Kristin over at E! clarified things a bit (kinda) by reporting that though The Office spinoff exists semi-officially, it still does not exist creatively. Apparently, they're still trying to find the right premise for such a spinoff (and if you're not scared about the show existing before the premise does, then you haven't been watching TV for very long).

That said, it was around this time four years ago that fans of the UK Office were worrying whether or not the NBC version would go the way of Coupling, so I think it's worth giving NBC the benefit of the doubt on this one. I'd like to open the floor to our enlightened commenters on just what the premise of an Office spinoff might be...

But what has gone from a show with promise has developed some traits that could send it right to the dumpster. Read on for my lists of reasons why Unhitched could sizzle, and why it may fizzle.

Reasons Unhitched could sizzle

1. The episodes that the creators wrote were funny. No, I am not biased because we went to high school together. The first two episodes really were the funniest ones. You know you loved Kate's dates -- the Celtics mascot and the air guitar champion -- and I know I need say no more than "shrimp." Although the subsequent episodes each had some funny situations, overall, they just fell flat. So Mike and Chris, keep writing and your show has a better chance of succeeding.

Kirstie Alley is coming back to the small screen and Oprah's got her. Harpo Productions has signed Alley for future TV projects. It could be a sitcom like Fat Actress, it could be a talk show, like the one she shopped around last year, but in whatever format, Harpo will be behind it. One definite possibility would be for Kirstie to appear in a show on OWN, the new Oprah Winfrey Network, which used to be Discovery Health Channel.

Looks like the Hallmark Channel is making a bid to play with the bigger networks.

The cable network has gone on a Christmas shopping spree and bought several shows from CBS Television Distribution, including I Love Lucy, Cheers, 7th Heaven, 12 holiday movies, and more episodes of Touched By An Angel and Matlock. 7th Heaven starts in January, Cheers later next year, and then I Love Lucy will start in early 2009.

This is good news for fans who like the channel but are overdosing on reruns of Murder, She Wrote and those mystery movies that star John Larroquette and Lea Thompson.