TVSquad

Since I write about the TV industry, it's impossible for me to avoid this whole "Paris Hilton prison thing" no matter how hard I try.

According to a recent report, Hilton is "distraught" about serving her sentence. I'm not quite sure why that's news. It seems to me that every single person ever sentenced to prison was probably pretty upset about it. If the headline had read, "Paris Hilton Thrilled About Going to Prison," that would be something worth reading, I would imagine. I'd certainly stop and pick up that issue in the checkout lane.

Lane Garrison faces prison time for a car crash that killed a 17-year old girl. Garrison, who played "Tweener" in 14 episodes of Prison Break, was apparently drunk when he crashed into a tree in December. Riding in his SUV with him were two 15-year old girls and a 17-year old girl, who died in the accident. Garrison is also being charged with injuring the other two passengers and providing them with alcohol. For all his infractions, the maximum sentence he could face is six years, eight months in prison.

Garrison is currently out on $100,000 bail and is banned from driving, drinking or visiting bars. Garrison's lawyer says a plea bargain is in the works, where the actor will "accept responsibility for his conduct."

Maybe I'm just lazy or I lack initiative, but if I were going to commit a crime, I don't think it would be bigamy. Trying to juggle that many secret lives just takes way too much effort, you know? I'm just saying.

Anyway, a man who appeared on an episode of Dr. Phil was arrested recently for bigamy. Charles Edward Hicks had been married seven times in forty years. The show focused on two women who had learned recently they had both been married to Hicks. What Hicks didn't count on was that the sister of his girlfriend was watching the show and called authorities. He'll be sentenced on May 8 and could face as much as ten years in prison.