In the 90s, one of the most popular (and annoying) memes that circulated through the geekier magazines was that we were only a few years away from having "500 channels" on our cable systems. Unlike most tech predictions, this one actually came true. Sure, it took 1200% longer than they thought it would, but that's still pretty good considering most of the stuff Wired talked about in the 90s was made up by the editorial staff after downing a couple of those schizophrenia-inducing Transformers 2 pot brownies.
Having recently installed Verizon Fios, I've spent the last few months ignoring my wife and young son so I could explore what the 500 channel landscape looks like. Like Charlton Heston in the Forbidden Zone, I was shirtless, on horseback, and ready to uncover some sad truths about the world.
Here's the question I've come back with: what if there isn't enough talent for humanity to adequately fill 500 channels?
And the Good Riddance Award goes to... Cavemen! Here to accept the award for Cavemen is... well... nobody. How awkward would that be? The Cavemen looking at me with their big crazy eyebrows. Me looking back with my big crazy beard. "Uh... here ya go... Try the shrimp." In the end, it was a close race back at TV Squad HQ. The boys from ABC just edged out the runner-up, Bionic Woman.
Alright, here we go. The readers, and team TV Squad, have spoken. It's almost a little depressing that there were so many shows that received consideration for the award. Clearly, this wasn't a banner year for the networks. But that's good though. With all of those shows sent packing, there's that much more room on the schedule next season. Here's hoping all that valuable space gets put to good use, and that someone learns from the following examples. After the jump, the nominees, and your chance to vote for the TV Squad reader award.
Every year at this time there are a few shows that take the cancellation bullet, much to the dismay of fans. There are petitions, mass mailings, and declarations of never watching that network again. On the other hand ... every year there are also those shows that meet the TV reaper that really had it coming. We've had enough of their bad TV and we're not going to take it anymore.
The good riddance award is for those shows. Not only will you not miss them, you'll gladly cheer as the funeral procession passes you by. There is no shortage of contenders as we rap up the '07/'08 season. The first to ping my radar included Next Great American Band. Good grief, so much was wrong about that show. And while we're looking at that ill-fated Fox Friday, let's throw Nashville on the pile as well. CBS has a couple contenders in Secret Talents of the Stars and Viva Laughlin. How do you screw up getting frickin' Wolverine on your network? Of course, we'd be remiss if we didn't offer a tip of the cap to ABC and the Cavemen as well. Those are just a few from my perspective. Add your contenders in the comments and we'll boil it all down to a really great list, of really bad TV.
Have you ever read TV Squad and said to yourself, "Hey, I wish there was a speedy, five minute podcast about this site hosted by someone with a mildly annoying South Jersey accent?" If you have, there are two things you should know: 1) your prayers have been answered and 2) you're a dangerously deranged person. Seriously, you should talk to someone before your problems get out of hand.
But before you do that, you should go ahead and download our brand new weekly podcast, TV5. Every Friday I'll be bringing you a five minute rundown of five of our most interesting stories. Why five? Because we here at TV Squad like prime numbers and TV34301 seemed like overkill. Enjoy!
OK, now this might be the grossest "save our show" mail campaign yet.
The folks over at New York mag's Vulture Culture are urging readers to send hair to ABC to save the in-trouble sitcom Cavemen. They're upset that the show wasn't on ABC's list of shows renewed for the 2008-09 season, and they want people to start mailing envelopes filled with their hair to ABC Entertainment President Stephen McPherson. And they're suggesting you even shave your head completely. They want you to include the note "Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow." No word yet on whether or not the stuff will be sent Hair-Mail (ha!).
Before we go any further, can someone please assure me that they're not going to try and make a television series out of this? Probably not.
I can hear the network executives now..."Think how funny it will be! We can have cavemen creating different tools for use in civilized life, but they continually use them incorrectly over and over again!"
Mark my words, "Cavemen: The Inventors" - coming to CBS this Fall!
Where was I, oh yeah. This commercial was funny but at this point I expect no less from Bud Light.
A few critics have actually said good things about Cavemen. Surprised? Yeah, well apparently it's not as uncommon as we might think. As this New York Times article details, there have been positive reviews of the show, but they've been mostly overshadowed by the enormous negative press it has received since before its premiere.
From the beginning, the hastily-produced pilot lead to critics thinking Cavemen was just a show relying on thinly veiled racial humor, with the cavemen standing in for African-Americans. Then they started talking about what a terrible idea the concept was (if it's funny for a thirty second commercial, that doesn't mean it's funny for thirty minutes). But was the show doomed from the start? Did all the negative publicity lead to more negative reviews of those early episodes than they could have rightly earned?
Perhaps one of the most compelling new shows of the season, Dirty Sexy Money has been picked up for a full season by ABC, as Reuters reports. The same article indicates that Lolita Davidovich, most recently known for a recurring role on the first season of The L Word, and currently seen in the web series quarterlife, which NBC picked up for air on the main network as reported here on TV Squad, has been cast in a recurring role as a potential love interest for Donald Sutherland's character Tripp Darling.
Sutherland's performance alone could carry Dirty Sexy Money. He adds a depth and mystery to Tripp Darling with such subtle nuances, and the character play between him and Peter Krause's Nick George is nothing short of brilliant. You never know if he's on the side of the angels or behind the death of Nick's father, a driving subplot of the series.
Sweeps period is not only important for networks but also for TV viewers. Sweeps periods are when some of the biggest events in a TV series happen: deaths, explosions, extra special guest stars, etc.
To prepare you for November sweeps, I've combed through the networks' sweeps press releases and official episode descriptions and extracted what seems to be the juicy information for almost all scripted series on the five major networks.
All spoilers listed after the jump are actually spoilers the networks want you to know!
(S01E02)Last week's review was not a kind one. I would have called Cavemen a train wreck, except that at least after a train wreck the survivors can begin to pull their lives together and learn to live again. My feeling last week was there was no such recovery possible after an episode of Cavemen.
A lot of the commentators came to the show's defense. There were cries of "it's not that bad" and "it could have been worse!" Not exactly ringing endorsements, but not the universal condemnation that I had been expecting, either. It took the careful consideration of both those comments and tonight's episode for me to figure out what, exactly, was wrong with this show...
In the 90s, one of the most popular (and annoying) memes that circulated through the geekier magazines was that we were only a few years away from having "500 channels" on our cable systems. Unlike most tech predictions, this one actually came true. Sure, it took 1200% longer than they thought it would, but that's still pretty good considering most of the stuff Wired talked about in the 90s was made up by the editorial staff after downing a couple of those schizophrenia-inducing Transformers 2 pot brownies. 
Alright, here we go. The readers, and team TV Squad, have spoken. It's almost a little depressing that there were so many shows that received consideration for the award. Clearly, this wasn't a banner year for the networks. But that's good though. With all of those shows sent packing, there's that much more room on the schedule next season. Here's hoping all that valuable space gets put to good use, and that someone learns from the following examples. After the jump, the nominees, and your chance to vote for the TV Squad reader award. 
Have you ever read TV Squad and said to yourself, "Hey, I wish there was a speedy, five minute podcast about this site hosted by someone with a mildly annoying South Jersey accent?" If you have, there are two things you should know: 1) your prayers have been answered and 2) you're a dangerously deranged person. Seriously, you should talk to someone before your problems get out of hand.
OK, now this might be the grossest "save our show" mail campaign yet.
A few critics have actually said good things about Cavemen. Surprised? Yeah, well apparently it's not as uncommon as we might think. As 
Perhaps one of the most compelling new shows of the season, Dirty Sexy Money has been picked up for a full season by ABC, as 
At 8, ABC has a new Cavemen, followed by new episodes of Carpoolers, Dancing with the Stars, and Boston Legal. 
Sweeps period is not only important for networks but also for TV viewers. Sweeps periods are when some of the biggest events in a TV series happen: deaths, explosions, extra special guest stars, etc.
At 8, ABC has a new Cavemen, then new episodes of Carpoolers, Dancing with the Stars, and Boston Legal. 
At 8, ABC has a new Caveman, followed by new episodes of Carpoolers, Dancing with the Stars, and Boston Legal. 
Mike Henry and Daryl Hall on a Cleveland Show Thanksgiving
The TV Squad Podcast: The Prisoner, '80s TV, soap news and more
Let's talk about spoilers ...
