TVSquad

The third annual New York Television Festival is now taking place in the Big Apple. As we did last year, we will review each of the pilots in competition there. This is the first of those reviews.

Last year I decided not to review any of the pilots from the New York Television Festival, but this year curiosity got the better of me and I said yes.

I decided to review one of the comedy DVDs. More specifically, the one featuring a pilot with puppets. You know what I learned, Mable? I learned that if your plot is lame and contrived, having puppets as half your cast doesn't improve things at all. Let's get into it (you can view the pilots at MSN):

Look, we all want old men to have sex, no one's arguing that point, but couldn't Viagra use a different approach with its commercials?

There's one airing right now that shows an older gentleman (not ancient, but probably in his 60s) washing his car. His wife sashays past him, gives him the "I want sex now" look over her shoulder, and steps into the house.

Street Customs, a new series for TLC set in West Coast Customs in Corona, California and starring owner Ryan Friedlinghaus, will hit TLC Thursdays this fall.

Friedlinghaus started West Coast Customs in 1993, and the business eventually became a phenomenon, raking in over ten million dollars and building custom cars for many famous people. The company is also opening shops in Moscow and Dubai.

TLC scheduled Street Customs for Thursday nights to fit in with similar fare like American Chopper, American Hotrod and Wrecks to Riches.

This sounds like it could be a good series, and given the success of the other shows aired during "Turbo on TLC," I'm sure it will do well.

Well, here's a commercials that the gay community won't be thrilled about.

Oh, hell, maybe they'll think it's funny too. Two mechanics working on a car both eat a Snickers bar that is in both of their mouths, like those two dogs in that Disney movie with the spaghetti, and end up kissing for a rather longer time than they probably should have. To prove their manliness they both pull their chest hairs out, which I think could also be seen as trying to turn each other on. Snickers satisfies you...in many different ways.

You can see what happens after the kiss at the web site, appropriately named afterthekiss.com. You can vote for the ending you want.

In an interview with Empire Online, producer Joel Silver said very little about the upcoming live-action Speed Racer movie from the Wachowski brothers (The Matrix), other than it's going to look really cool. Of course, he's producing the movie, so what else is he going to say, that it'll be a lot of flash and no substance? Silver also said they might not even use cars, which I would assume means they won't use any real cars, and do some kind of fancy CGI effects instead, which I think actually makes sense for this kind of movie.

Silver also had this to say in the interview, regarding the Wachowskis: "They said they'd never work again the Matrix sequels." If you can figure out what the hell that sentence is supposed to mean, you're a better person than I am. I'm trying to figure out why Joel Silver speaks like Yoda.

[via TV Filter]

My father and younger brother are the gearheads in my family. Somehow, whatever gene makes you give a crap about automobiles skipped me, which is why I know next to nothing about cars, and why looking at a brand new top of the line sports car gives me about as much joy as dislodging a bit of popcorn from one of my molars. If you happen to be one of those people who eat, sleep and breathe cars, Jay Leno has his own site over on NBC.com called Jay Leno's Garage. I may not be the biggest fan of The Tonight Show or Leno's comedy in general, but he has an affable demeanor and it fits the site well. You can watch videos of Jay and others talking about cars and offering helpful tips. The site also features articles Jay wrote for Popular Mechanics.

(S05E01) This episode of Monk reflects back to this episode from last season where Monk figured out how an astronaut managed to kill a woman, despite being in deep space at the time of the alleged suicide. The case was such a home run that Hollywood has decided to make a movie about it, and famous actor David Rushkin (Stanley Tucci) has been chosen to play Monk.

Rushkin decides to follow Monk around as he helps investigators figure out how the same man could be involved in two crimes that seem to have no connection to one another: the murder of a woman in her apartment, and the murder of another man at a jewelry store. Monk becomes extremely awkward around the actor, and tries not to let his obsessive compulsive nature show through too much. So much of this show is dependent on Monk's subtle mannerisms, but he exaggerates them to an absurd degree as he tries to impress the actor who's playing him. He all but dances around the crime scene, and even shakes Rushkin's hand without cleaning his own hands clean with a sanitary wipe. He does almost lose it when he gets glitter on his suit, though.