TVSquad

A few weeks ago, I posted the list of things that only happen on TV. You wrote really great comments which triggered me to write a post about the things you, the TV Squad readers, think only happen on TV. What I didn't expect then was the amount of replies this second article would get. You provided some fantastic and funny items to add to the list. So here we go with part two of the things that TV Squad readers think only happen on TV.

Last week, I revealed the Top 25 things that only happen on TV (and in the movies) according to the Have Happy Fun Time blog (and supposedly many other blogs and websites). Since the release of this article, many TV Squad readers commented to add their own item to the list. Since some of them are really true and funny, I thought it would be a nice idea to share with everyone.

Everyone at one point or another watched a TV show (or a movie) and said: "That can only happen on TV!" We even have a saying in French to explain that something is so far-fetched that it can't be real. It roughly translates as "This is set up by the movie guy." The Have Happy Fun Time blog came up with the "Top 25 Things that Only Happen in Movies." But, as you'll see, that list also works for TV series.

I've been posting a lot about the upcoming Speed Racer movie, but so far it's mostly been casting news and not a lot of information on what the actual movie will look like.

Of course, we've been able to venture some guesses as to what we might expect, since the movie is being helmed by Matrix creators Larry and Andy Wachowski.

(S11E05) In this episode, we learn that Hank's cousin is none other than Dusty Hill, bass player for ZZ Top. If any other show had attempted to do this kind of celebrity crossover, it would have seemed trite, but this episode wasn't so much about Dusty's celebrity status as it was about Hank wanting to keep his family as far away from the glitz and shallowness of the rock and roll lifestyle (Bobby especially).

Since the reality TV genre began, the term "reality" has been given an extra meaning. The truth is, if "reality" shows were actually "real" they'd be some of the most uninteresting shows on television: entire episodes would consist of nothing but people sitting around doing absolutely nothing, people would wonder in and out of frame, and sometimes conversations would be completely inaudible, because in reality, nobody feels the need to project for an invisible audience. I also imagine there would be a lot more nose picking and butt scratching.

(S02E17) I recently had to part with a car; in fact, I just got all my belongings out of it and took off the plates earlier today. There's always a little bit of a pang of sadness that occurs when you leave the vehicle you've depended on for a number of years for the last time. Of course, as you go through your life and the number of cars you own increase, that sense of attachment gets less and less.But it still stinks to give the car over to the salvage yard or its next owner.

But your first car? One you've taken from 78,000 miles to 199,999.2 miles? That's tough. And funny. At least when it's a Fiero. And when the situation is in the hands of the HIMYM writers.

I don't get to talk about music much here, this being a television blog and all, but once in awhile those two worlds mesh and I get to tell everyone I'm a big fan of Badly Drawn Boy, whose new album Born in the UK will be released on October 16. The video for the song "Nothing's Gonna Change Your Mind" shows Badly Drawn Boy, (a.k.a. Damon Gough) "driving" a car that's operated by a piano keyboard where the dashboard should be. Now, you can bid for the chance to win the car on eBay, but only if you live in the UK. So there you go, UK readers, don't ever say I never did anything for you. Unfortunately, the auction ends really soon, but don't fret too much, it's not like the car actually works or anything. To ease your suffering, I've placed the music video after the jump. Let the soothing tones soothe your savage soul. Besides, it's not like you couldn't glue a keyboard to the inside of your car and get the same effect.

You can catch the premiere of Mr. T's new reality series I Pity the Fool on TV Land October 11 at 10 pm, but Yahoo has the first episode available for viewing right now. In the first episode, "Motivation," Mr. T uses some of his tough, no-nonsense wisdom to get a family-owned car dealership to run like a well-oiled machine. I have to say, I found it rather entertaining. Even after all these years Mr. T's simplistic, tough guy approach and infectious charisma is a blast to watch. Just sit back and let the insanity entertain you. I may be purchasing my first car soon, and I'm pretty sure if Mr. T were selling it to me, I would buy it. And yes, he actually does say "jibba jabba" at one point.

[via Pop Candy]

Anyone over the age of 35 has probably caught at least one epsiode of Columbo. It has to be one of the most complete characterizations in TV history; everything from his manner of speaking to his crappy car, tan suit and rumpled raincoat tells you that Columbo wasn't your average cop.

Must have been some genius costume designer working his or her magic, right? Not according to Peter Falk.

(S02E12) This is an early review.

Bob Balaban plays Tom's father in this episode, and I must say he was the perfect choice. He and Tim Heidecker, who plays Tom, have the same kind of soft-spoken, halted delivery, and it seems perfectly natural they would be father and son, even if Walt doesn't seem to care much for Tom.

The episode opens at the airport with Tom waiting for his father's flight to arrive. We assume he's visiting his son, but actually it's just an eleven minute layover (which is, funny enough, also the length of the episode). Tom doesn't let his father's lack of time keep him from making a minute by minute itinerary, which includes a father/son embrace (tentative). Tom's father sells fish coolers called "Coldinizers" and he doesn't want to miss his flight, else he lose all his sales on the Eastern seaboard. Tom insists they have time to do everything on the list, however.

Apparently the "car gene" never quite took hold in me, because while both my father and younger brother are pretty big gear heads, looking at a car just doesn't stir up any interest in me. I might as well be studying a paper bag full of cotton balls, I simply have no interest in automobiles of any kind. However, if we're talking TV cars, well that's a different story. I loves me some TV cars, and here's five I really like. Got some you want to add to my list? Slap 'em down in the comments. Now let's ride:

The General Lee: There were actually several "General Lees" used throughout the Dukes of Hazzard's run, which makes sense, considering how often the Duke boys crashed it, jumped it over hay bales, and used it to thwart the schemes of Boss Hog. Also, sliding across the hood like that can't be good for the paint job. A fun show, sure, but also a lesson in how not to treat your car. Unless you happen to be fightin' the system like two modern day Robin Hoods, then I guess it's okay.

I don't know about this one. Both Hollywood.com and the New York Post have the same WENN story about Malcolm in the Middle star Frankie Muniz making plans to join the professional auto racing circuit after Malcolm in the Middle ends its run next month.

Here's the quote from Muniz himself: "I got signed to race for Jensen Motor Sports for the next two years ... I'm now a professional race car driver. I'm racing Indy cars, like Formula One cars and racing on road courses."

Most of me thinks this is either remnants of an April Fools' Day gag, or it was just Muniz being sarcastic. It's not like the kid isn't getting acting work, having recently appeared in the movie Stay Alive. Do any of you guys know anything about Muniz's alleged racing plans?

Wait, hold everything. Just as I was about to post I discovered this article from almost one year ago about a celebrity auto race in which Muniz took part. Muniz said, "Racing is all I've ever wanted to do. It's something I would like to get into on a more serious note." Perhaps the story is legit after all.