TVSquad

This was the "surprise" appearance that wasn't a surprise at all, since everyone talked about it all day yesterday. And I'm not even sure why Britney Spears being on a talk show is such a big pop culture event, but it gave us the chance to see her in a bikini giving the Top Ten List.

It was...awkward, probably because she's not only in a bikini but also it was via satellite and taped.

I don't usually post gossip show clips, but I'm doing this for two reasons. One, I find it funny that two 70s icons are going after each other over their weight loss programs. And two, I can't imagine Ted Koppel doing this story when he was on Nightline. (Full Nightline segment here.) Bertinelli calls Osmond's Nutrisystem food "crappy," while Osmond wonders why a 49 year-old would want to be in a bikini. (For the record, I think Bertinelli looks great in a bikini.)

In a move that should come as no surprise to anybody, Pamela Anderson has stripped off her clothes yet again. This time on The Ellen Degeneres Show. No, she didn't get completely nude (or even wear a flesh-toned swimsuit as she did on Saturday Night Live). She remained in a somewhat television-safe bikini to show off her rockin' 41-year-old body.

Um, how do I react to this? She's still got the curves, but the move smacks of desperation. She's trying to generate publicity for herself and whatever current project she's working on. Or maybe she's trying to get more work. She is getting up there in age. In Hollywood years, she's ancient. The whole "Hollywood beach bunny blonde" image doesn't work so well when you're in your 60's. At that point, she may have to rely on her talent.

The video is after the jump. I leave it to your discretion as to whether or not it's safe for work.

Kirstie Alley is coming back to the small screen and Oprah's got her. Harpo Productions has signed Alley for future TV projects. It could be a sitcom like Fat Actress, it could be a talk show, like the one she shopped around last year, but in whatever format, Harpo will be behind it. One definite possibility would be for Kirstie to appear in a show on OWN, the new Oprah Winfrey Network, which used to be Discovery Health Channel.

(S03E23) After last week's comment massacre, I was hoping to be able to come on and give this episode a glowing review that would turn the comments from "I wish Jay would die of some sort of exotic fish poisoning" to "thank you for re-affirming why I watch this show by providing a series of highlights from tonight's episode, plus a 7 rating... if you ever need a kidney, email me."

So which is it? More vitriolic bile or an army of willing organ donors? The answer, as always, after the jump...

Well, you were warned that this was going to happen: yesterday, the newly-svelte Kirstie Alley came out on the stage of Oprah wearing a bikini. Like I mentioned yesterday, any 55-year-old woman is pretty brave to show her body like that on national television, much less one that dropped enough weight to garner an extra fee at UPS. The pictures of Kirstie that had been floating around lately showed a version of her that hadn't been that thin since she was a contestant on Match Game. But without Photoshop to help her out, what would she look like?

Actually, pretty good. First of all, she used what she called "stripper hose" to sinch her in a bit (she told Oprah she wishes she was able to find hose that went up to her neck). And, of course, Oprah's directors were generous enough to not get too close with the cameras. Oh, and she didn't show her ass, either. But what we did see was a woman who's in pretty good shape. She wasn't as rail-thin as the pictures showed, but it didn't matter; her goal wasn't to get rail-thin, it was to make her feel better about herself. I wouldn't kick her out of bed, that's for sure.

Anyway, judge for yourself; video of the appearance is after the jump.

About a year ago, Kirstie Alley went on Oprah to tell her and the audience why she had ballooned to over 220 pounds and how she managed to drop 55 pounds. Remember that at the same time she decided to become a spokeswoman for Jenny Craig and start losing the weight, she starred in a self-parodying Showtime series Fat Actress, so her chubbiness ended up being quite profitable for her.

Now she's lost a total of 75 pounds, and is so proud of her new figure, the 55-year-old Alley is going to appear on the show again this afternoon... in a bikini. Think about this: not many 55-year-olds would appear on a national TV show in a bikini to begin with, much less one that has just lost the equivalent of a 25-inch TV off their bodies. I'm sure some of the leftover flab has been nipped and tucked by talented doctors, but going out there in a bikini is pretty brave, even for a ballsy woman like Alley.

Alley talks about her weight gain and loss, and her Oprah appearance, in this Life magazine inteview. The details of what she ate to get to her maximum density is pretty scary, even to a hefty eater like myself.

New seasons are starting and you know what that means. Promotion, promotion, promotion. In the ever more crowded war for our eyeballs, any publicity a show can get helps.

Not to be outdone by anyone, those clever publicists over at Lost have landed the cover of the new Stuff magazine, on newsstands now, for Yunjin Kim. The beautiful Korean actress talks with them about top secret scripts and Hawaii's huge flying insects. And, of course, since this is Stuff Magazine, she also does a sexy photoshoot in various bikinis. More pictures, bigger ones too, as well as video of the bikini shoot can be found on the Stuff website.

The issue also has a feature on the women of Lost. There is no new info there for those of you digging for clues as you wait for the big premiere. It's simply an excuse to publish sexy pictures of all the Lost women while delivering the bare essentials about their characters. It even includes Michelle Rodriguez, just to show you where their priorities are. But hey, this is Stuff, not TV Guide. We kind of know that going in.