TVSquad

• At 8, ABC has a new Dancing with the Stars, followed by new episodes of Samantha Who? and The Bachelor.
• CBS has a new Big Bang Theory at 8, then new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement, and CSI: Miami.
• FOX has a new Bones at 8.
• NBC has a new, two hour Deal Or No Deal and a new Medium.
• There's a new Gossip Girl on The CW at 8, then a new One Tree Hill.
• PBS has a new Antiques Roadshow at 8, then new episodes of American Experience and Great Performances.
• ABC Family has a new Greek at 8, followed by a new America's Prom Queen.
• USA has a new Monday Night RAW at 8.
• Also at 8: TLC has two new episodes of Little People, Big World.
• At 8:30, Food Network has a new Heavyweights.
• At 9, VH-1 has a new Flavor of Love.
• GSN has a new World Poker Tour at 9.
• At 9:30, Food Network has a new Unwrapped.
• At 10, MTV has a new episode of The Hills, then a new episode of The Paper.

Check your local TV listings for more.

Do you like trailers? Does the idea of a quick wrap up of what you missed in previous episodes make sense to you? Are you a fan of clip shows, i.e. an episode devoted to highlights from past shows? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you're likely going to be really happy about this: Eyelab has been re-editing programming into mini-versions of CBS shows for distribution online. TV Squad had a report about this a while back, but now it's fully operational. Take a look at this Real Hollywood Story/The New Adventures of Old Christine mini, which is posted after the jump.

• At 8, ABC has a new Dancing with the Stars, followed by a new Bachelor.
• CBS has a new Big Bang Theory at 8, then new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Old Christine, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has new episodes of My Dad Is Better Than You Dad, Deal Or No Deal, and Medium.
• ABC Family has a new Greek at 8, followed by a new America's Prom Queen.
• At 8:30, Food Network has a new Heavyweights.
• At 9, FOX has a new New Amsterdam.
• The CW has a new Pussycat Dolls at 9.
• There's a new Monday Night RAW on USA at 9.
• GSN has a new World Poker Tour at 9.
• At 9:30, HBO Comedy has a One Night Stand featuring Bill Hicks.
• At 10, Food Network has a new Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.
• E! has a new episode of The Soup Presents at 10.
• MTV has two new episodes of The Hills at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

At the end of each episode of The Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men, producer/creator Chuck Lorre has a "vanity card" that says something different each week. I usually pause my TiVo to read what it says, not realizing that he posts each and every one of them on his website.

This week's vanity card for The Big Bang Theory is pretty juicy. So juicy, in fact, that CBS wouldn't let him air it. The original card explained how CBS censored a joke at the climax of the show where Cousin Leo blames his fake drug addiction on a molester named Chaplain Horrigan. Lorre writes, "In the original shooting script the make-believe molester was called Father Horrigan." But, he says, CBS didn't want to offend Catholic viewers by suggesting that priests are known for molesting little boys. Lorre's complaint is prolific and quite funny, you can read the entire vanity card here. I have also placed a graphic of the card after the jump, just in case it gets taken down from his website (though, I doubt that will happen).

• At 8, CBS has a new Big Bang Theory, followed by new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, and Old Christine.
• ABC has the season premiere of Dancing with the Stars at 8, then the season premiere of The Bachelor.
• FOX has a new Canterbury's Law at 8, then a new New Amsterdam.
• NBC has new episodes of My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad, Deal Or No Deal, and Medium.
• TLC has two new episodes of Little People, Big World at 8.
• The Kyle XY season finale airs at 8 on ABC Family, followed by the premiere of America's Prom Queen.
• Also at 8: Food Network has new episodes of Good Eats and The Secret Life Of...
• At 9, The CW has a new Pussycat Dolls.
• USA has a new Monday Night RAW at 9.
• At 9:30, HBO has a new In Treatment.
• At 10, E! has The Soup Presents.

Check your local TV listings for more.

• At 8, ABC has a new Dancing with the Stars at 8, followed by new episodes of Samantha Who? and The Bachelor.
• CBS has new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement, and CSI: Miami.
• There's a new Chuck on NBC at 8, then new episodes of Heroes and Journeyman.
• The CW has a new Everybody Hates Chris at 8, followed by new episodes of Aliens in America, Girlfriends, and The Game.
• At 9, PBS has a new American Masters, profiling Charles Schulz.
• USA has a new Monday Night RAW at 9.
• At 10, Food Network has a new Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, then a new The Secret Life Of...
• Showtime has a new Weeds at 10, followed by the season finale of Californication.

Check your local TV listings for more.

• At 7, FOX has the Red Sox/Indians game.
• At 8, ABC has a new Dancing with the Stars, followed by the series premiere of Samantha Who? and a new Bachelor.
• CBS has a new How I Met Your Mother, then new episodes of The Big Bang Theory, Rules of Engagement, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has new episodes of Chuck, Heroes, and Journeyman.
• The CW has a new Everybody Hates Chris at 8, then new episodes of Aliens in America, Girlfriends, and The Game.
• TLC has two new episodes of Little People, Big World at 8.
• Alton Brown examines peanuts on a new Good Eats at 8 on Food Network.
• At 8:30, ESPN has the Giants/Falcons game.
• At 9, Food Network has a new Unwrapped.
• There's a new WWE Monday Night RAW on USA at 9.
• At 10, TBS has the Diamondbacks/Rockies game.
• Food Network has a new Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives at 10, then a new The Secret Life Of...
• Also at 10: MTV has a new ep of The Hills, followed by a new Life of Ryan.
• At 10:30, HGTV has a new Living with Ed.

Check your local TV listings for more.

Well, the first big Monday night ratings battle is over, and the outcomes is really no surprise to anyone, though some of the specific numbers are interesting.

ABC won the night overall with their premieres of Dancing with the Stars and The Bachelor. Heroes did really well too, up 10% from the same period last season. Journeyman must be a bit of a letdown for NBC, considering the Heroes lead-in. Ratings were down 26% from the Studio 60 premiere last season.

• At 8, CBS has the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother, then the series premiere of Big Bang Theory and the season premieres of Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement, and CSI: Miami.
• ABC has the two-hour season premiere of Dancing with the Stars at 8, then the season premiere of The Bachelor.
• NBC has the series premiere of Chuck at 8, followed by the season premiere of Heroes and the series premiere of Journeyman.
• There's a new Prison Break on FOX at 8, then a new K-Ville.
• PBS has another installment of The War at 8.
• At 8:30, ESPN has the Saints/Titans game.
• At 9, USA has a new Monday Night RAW.
• Food Network has a new Unwrapped at 9.
• VH-1 has a new Pick Up Artist at 9.
• At 10, MTV has a new episode of The Hills, followed by a new Life of Ryan.
• The Travel Channel has a new Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations at 10.
• Also at 10: Showtime has a new Weeds, then a new Californication.
• At 10:30, HGTV has a new Living with Ed.

Check your local TV listings for more.

In an age where Josh Schwartz, Joss Whedon, J.J. Abrams, and Judd Apatow are writing true-to-life examples of what being a nerd or a geek is like, you'd think that the whiny, sniveling, tape-on-the-glasses, Urkel version of geekdom would be out of favor in TV land.

Big Bang Theory, which premieres Monday at 8:30 PM ET on CBS, proves otherwise. And, while it's not a complete disaster, it's too weighed down by its geek stereotypes to work on a weekly basis.

CBS probably has one of the more interesting schedules of the fall, just for the fact that they are making a concerted effort to try something different. They could have rolled out yet another procedural (CSI: LA?), and who could really blame them. Those shows have performed extremely well for the network over the past few years.

Instead, in what is a definite gamble, the network will be bringing out some decidedly alternative programming. There is a musical drama about the casino business in Laughlin, a vampire detective, a drama about a Cuban family and their rum making business, and some swinging couples getting their freak on in the 70's. The kind of fare that would probably cause Horatio to tilt his head to the side and remove his sunglasses. Will it work? Time will tell, but we've seen three of them and have a rundown after the jump.

CBS is on a good run, being the most watched network for the last five years, but they have taken a bit of heat for the formulaic way they have gone about doing it. Not arguing with success, the whole family of CSIs, and their crime based cousins, will be back, but the network is trying to branch out with some edgier programming. Most notably, Swingtown, Viva Laughlin, and Moonlight.

Returning: The Amazing Race, Cold Case, 60 Minutes, How I Met Your Mother, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement, CSI: Miami, NCIS, The Unit, Criminal Minds, CSI: NY, Survivor, CSI, Shark, Without A Trace, Ghost Whisperer, Numb3rs, 48 Hours Mystery.

New: Viva Laughlin, Swingtown, Moonlight, Cane, Big Bang Theory, Power of 10, Kid Nation

Out: King of Queens, Jericho, The Class, Close To Home

Moving: Without A Trace moves back to Thursday at 10. Shark heads to Sunday at 10.

Way back in March I told y'all that Chuck Lorre, creator of Two and a Half Men, was creating a series for CBS called The Big Bang Theory, about a woman who shows two physicists that just because they know a lot about science, it doesn't mean they understand everything. The "woman" in this case will be played by Kaley Cuoco of Eight Simple Rules, who replaced Andrea Walsh who appeared in the unaired pilot episode. I think a beautiful woman showing two stuffy men a new perspective on life is a rather tired concept, but I'll save judgment until the show comes out, and then I'll say the exact same thing.

Actress Lena Headey will star as Sarah Conner in The Sarah Conner Chronicles, which continues the story of the character from the Terminator movies after the events of Terminator 2: Judgment Day. The series will begin filming next year and air on FOX. David Nutter, who has directed episodes of The Sopranos, West Wing and The X-Files, is set to direct this project.

Chuck Lorre, the creator of Two and a Half Men, has sold a pilot to CBS called The Big Bang Theory. The show will center on two theoretical physicists and a woman who proves to them they don't know everything.

I don't think it's bad to create a show where the woman is the "smart one," but it is a cliche. The rule most sitcoms adhere to is that the woman must always be grounded and intelligent while the man is pretty much a bumbling moron. When sitcoms first started to do this, it was a righteous response to the shoddy roles women had previously been given in television. Now, however, I think it's time to take the next step, to not try and make each character a representative of an entire gender and instead treat each character as an individual. Arrested Development springs to mind as one show that I think did this fairly well. Characters were driven by their own selfish desires and everyone, male and female, had plenty of shortcomings. When you try to force an absolute onto a character, it stifles that character's ability to come across as real.