TVSquad

If you loved the Slap-Chop guy's nuts, then chances are you'll love his movie.

Vince "ShamWow guy" Offer (we soon learned his real last name is Shlomi, thanks to his arrest record for fighting a prostitute) was one of the minds behind the infamous Underground Comedy Movie, a lame attempt at a Kentucky Fried Movie-style film that will live in infamy for reasons other than its attempt at comedy.

You might remember the film (or you may not want to) from the late night infomercials and commercials that aired for it back in the late '90s and early '00s. The film has a long and sordid history full of more litigation and despair than an E! True Hollywood Story, assuming that Vince Offer has not yet become the focus of an E! True Hollywood Story.

I went to Universal Studios in Hollywood on Saturday for the revealing of The Simpsons Ride. Celebs walked the "yellow" carpet. The mayor welcomed the crowds and led the countdown. A human cannonball was shot into the air. And a yellow sheet dropped to reveal a 32-foot Krusty the Clown face at the entrance to the attraction.

Despite the launch being for The Simpsons, there were hardly any members of the cast there on the yellow carpet. Kelsey Grammer (Sideshow Bob) was there along with creator Matt Groening and producer James L. Brooks but no other voice talents were anywhere to be found. See who I talked to and read more about the ride unveiling after the jump.

Here we are again. Another year has passed us by and what do we have to show for it? A little more gray hair, a little less money in our pockets (have you noticed how the price of, um, everything has gone up?), and a little more fear that the world in slowly unraveling. Normally, television is there to soothe our brows in these times. Alas, the current pissing match between the Studios and the Writers is stifling that ability to the point that we may all be having Chaucer parties by mid-year because there's nothing to watch on the tube.

Not sounding too bitter, am I?

Well, you're not here to read about doom and gloom (unless it's a review of 24). You're here to see what I, and many of my TV Squad colleagues, thought television's best and worst were for 2007. So, without further interruptions on how much I paid for my daughter's karate lessons (you DON'T want to know), here is my list of best and worst for the previous year.

Each year in our "Top TV Stories" posts we look back at the number of celebrities and behind the scenes people that have passed away during the year. This is always a hard list to put together, so if I've missed anyone, please let me know in the comments and I'll add them to the list.

This year we also lost someone very close to us.

Merv Griffin
Tom Snyder
Joel Siegel
Anna Nicole Smith
Robert Goulet
Joey Bishop

Maria Shriver is leaving television news, and it's all Anna Nicole Smith's fault.

The ex-NBC newswoman and wife of California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger says that TV coverage of the death of Anna Nicole Smith (and all of the other stories that came from her death) led her to quit TV news forever. She made the comments during a speech at the Conference For Women. She says that watching the nonstop coverage made her realize that TV news had changed and she no longer wanted to be a part of it. She has plenty to do as First Lady anyway.

Remember the sobbing judge who turned the Anna Nicole Smith custody case into an audition tape for himself? He's off the bench. Judge Larry Seidlin has resigned from his position of 29 years and he's not saying where he's going. But, I'm guessing he's making a beeline for a television camera.

When Seidlin was all over television a few months back, he was reportedly being wooed by at least one network for a little face time. In his resignation, Seidlin didn't say exactly what he'll be doing, except that he has "a further commitment to helping my fellow citizens through roles in the educational system, media, and non-profit organizations." I highlighted a key word there because I'm guessing we'll be seeing Judge Larry's emotional outbursts on television sometime soon.

Anyone want to guess what type of show he'll be getting?

*UPDATE: Yup, he's got a TV show. He'll be filming a pilot for CBS Television Distribution.

Maybe she's just channeling Anna Nicole Smith* or something, but celebrity skater Kristy Swanson is in a bit of trouble with the mounties up in Canada. She has been arrested for allegedly attacking the ex-wife of her baby daddy, professional ice skater Lloyd Eisler. Lloyd and Kristy had a baby together back in February, which is about a year after they originally hooked up while paired up on Fox's short-lived show, Skating with Celebrities. Lloyd Eisler's wife was eight months pregnant at the time that he left her for Kristy.

People magazine is reporting that Kristy actually blames Eisler's ex-wife for the altercation, though Kristy is the one who was arrested.

*Kristy's most recent gig was a guest stint on Law & Order where she played a character who was based on Anna Nicole Smith.

**UPDATE Kristy is pressing assault charges against Eisler's ex-wife. Canadian police took photos of bruises and cuts on Kristy's body. It sounds like quite a brawl. And they're fighting over this guy.

"The Newborn Identity": A little more Anna Nicole Smith coverage. Senior Caribbean Analyst Rob Riggle acted like a complete ass to reflect Larry Birkhead's reaction. I was really annoyed by Riggle in this piece, so... I guess he did his job well. Jon Stewart met confused kids at Camera Three to explain why not everyone's having a "who's the daddy?" crisis. At that low angle, I saw the double-blue thing in the background and realized that they've really gone overkill with those marquees. Tone down some of the flashiness, please.

The New York Post is reporting that Bravo is editing all of comedian Kathy Griffin's standup specials, because she makes several jokes about Anna Nicole Smith on them.

I actually thought of this when Anna Nicole died, how Kathy Griffin used to joke about Anna Nicole's reality show (and the fact that it would cause Daniel to go into rehab - ouch), how Anna Nicole acted, how she seemed when both of them were guests on The Hollywood Squares. It must be odd when a major part of your act actually dies, tragically and young, and you can't use that material anymore. I'm sure some comedians would still do it, but Griffin doesn't want to because she's genuinely sad about what happened.

Griffin just finished a new special for Bravo titled Everyone Can Suck It.

[via TV Tattle]

Here's a new twist in this whole "who is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby" story.

Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, is suing Fox News and Bill O'Reilly for at least $10 million. O'Reilly called von Anhalt "a fraud" during his February 20 O'Reilly Factor, referring to von Anhalt's claim that he could be the father of Anna Nicole's baby girl Danielynn. Here's the whole quote:

"Look, this guy's a fraud...we know he's a fraud. But let's - what I want to talk about is - he's done. His credibility is - finished."

The prince says that people are not only sending him e-mails calling him a fraud, he's also getting a lot of dirty looks at the supermarket when he goes grocery shopping. (Wait, a prince goes to the supermarket to get his own groceries?)

I'm not a lawyer, so I have no idea if this case has any merit or not, but I'm glad Bill O'Reilly is getting sued.

[via TV Newser]

Having lost its main celebrity endorsement with the death of Anna Nicole Smith, diet pill maker TrimSpa is launching a new advertising campaign.

The company plans to use before and after photos of hundreds of TrimSpa users in its new ad campaign. The images will be visible even when users are fast-forwarding through the commercial.

Of course, these types of advertisements aren't really TiVo-proof, so much as TiVo-resistant. All you have to do to avoid the images is program your TiVo remote to use the 30-second skip feature. Or use a different PVR that lets you skip commercials altogether.

Hey, did you hear? Anna Nicole Smith died and there's a fight over her corpse. Also, there's genocide in Darfur, quite possibly because of something Howard K. Stern said.

Over the last two weeks, I've been subjected to a rash of televised news about fluffy non-stories that I didn't care about. I bemoaned the state of American News Television and nodded knowingly when SNL (such a satire, that SNL) ran a skit that said the same thing.

Except here's the thing: I did sorta care about Anna Nicole Smith. And yes, I cared more about her than the genocide in Darfur. Does that make me a classless, shortsighted, anti-intellectual? Yep. It also makes me an American.

I promised myself - promised, promised, promised - that I wouldn't write another story about Anna Nicole Smith. But then I saw this video, and I had to post this. If it stops just one person from watching another second of Entertainment Tonight, then this post is worth it.

The video is from Entertainment Tonight, who had EXCLUSIVE! access to the funeral in the Bahamas (*cough* $$$$$ *cough*), and while we get all of the expected weeping and slow motion and doves being released, we also see various friends and relatives of Anna Nicole taking a shovel and grabbing dirt out of the back of a wheelbarrow. I'm sure this is done at funerals, but it just seems odd to have everyone at the funeral grab the shovel and join in. After a while it seems like less a tribute than just doing some maintenance work at the cemetery.

Pay special attention to the job Anna Nicole's mom does.

"It was wrong for people to portray Anna, they way they did, after she passed away." - Howard K. Stern

Reprimand her mother all you want, but tell me something Howard, is it not wrong to consistently try to make money selling any sound bite you hawk to Entertainment Tonight? You alone are keeping Anna in the spotlight to be portrayed with exclusive coverage every night since Daniel's death.
It would be speaking too soon if we said that this is the last we will hear of the circus. Since Anna's passing, Howard has stated in court that he has no one to live off of but his parents, it's apparent that he will do anything to make a dollar.

Hey, Brigitte here with TV Squad Daily. I'll be covering the TV stories I find interesting each day, Monday through Friday, in this video blog.

Today on TV Squad Daily:

• Dancing with the Stars, the fitness book, is coming soon.
  
• The inevitable Victoria and David Beckham reality show rumors have begun. And can someone tell me how why Posh is "hilarious"?
  
• How annoying: Larry Sedlin, the whacko judge in the Anna Nicole Smith burial hearing, was reportedly offered a TV gig.
  

The video's embedded below, or you can download the file directly (Quick time required). You can also subscribe to this podcast via our feed.