TVSquad

It doesn't matter if you love him or you have a dry-clean only voodoo doll of him complete with Chia-Pet sized eyebrows just to prove how much you hate him. You have to admit that Adam Carolla hasn't had the steadiest career.

He's had a ton of self-titled shows that never really caught on with a regular audience. He scored the top spot on the American Top Gear that sparked a lot of interesting buzz and then had the rug pulled out from under him. He got his ass handed to him on the world's least macho reality show, Dancing with the Stars. Since The Man Show closed up shop, he's been bounced around the television more than a pair of silicone flesh globes in a Juggy audition.

The final death blow came last week when CBS Radio cancelled his morning radio show and all of their L.A. based talk shows to save some cash. But just as one door closed in his face, another one opened.

If I were to enroll at TCM University, I think I'd major in film noir.

I'll get my chance to enroll at such a school this February, when Turner Classic Movies presents its annual "31 Days of Oscar" film schedule (there aren't 31 days in February - maybe it leaks into March?). This year the festival will be devoted to a "classroom" of 350 different films, hosted by Robert Osborne. Each day Osborne will introduce each movie theme and tell us a little bit about the theme and the movies.

The "courses" include Mass Media, Nuclear Physics, Farm Planning and Management, Military Law, Reproductive Biology, and other courses that will be represented by classic Oscar-winning movies, from My Fair Lady and The China Syndrome to Hannah and Her Sisters and The Caine Mutiny. Other movies will include Network, Yankee Doodle Dandy, Casablanca, Poltergeist, and The Great Escape.

They should hold classes in Space Exploration and Technology and show Plan 9 From Outer Space.