TVSquad

Attention, TV Squad readers, my friends and fellow television fans, it's time to announce the winner for The Excellence in Outsourcing Award, that is, the foreign actor who possesses the best American accent. There were many worthy nominees, but the overwhelming winner was House, MD himself, actor Hugh Laurie. That Englishman, one of her majesty's loyal subjects, has been making us all believe that he's just a Jersey boy. As Dr. Gregory House of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, he sounds like he was born in south Jersey, spent his summers in Asbury Park, and is as much a Garden Stater as Bruce Springsteen and Tony Soprano.

(S04E12) "People don't change." -- House, who mentioned it several times.

So Wilson is going out with Cutthroat Bitch (aka: Amber), huh? And, for awhile all is well. That's a pretty good record for Wilson, and devious as hell since he was able to keep it from House for so long. Of course, there is now a challenge for Greg to figure out why Amber seems such a catch for his best friend.

Manipulation? Well, that's a possible answer since Wilson is directly connected to House and can be the avenue to get her a fellowship. Revenge? Certainly, especially the way the good doctor treated Amber during the competition. Actual love and affection for Wilson? Nah, couldn't be! I mean, that would just be ludicrous coming from someone who was only concerned about herself during the game. Come on, doesn't anyone remember when she got all of those candidates to stop washing House's car and walk away from the competition? Plus, according to House, people don't change.

(S04E04) Wilson -- You're quite impressed with yourself right now, aren't you?

House -- Who wouldn't be?

After a brief baseball break, House returned with a pretty decent episode. Not only did we get to see a further fleshing out of the new characters, but also witnessed additional connection between the old and new team members. Plus, we found out that trying to find a job outside of Princeton-Plainsboro when you worked for House was not the best thing to do.

(S04E03) Do your sex organs dangle, cutthroat bitch? -- House, speaking to Amber

Geez, Jen got the easy reviewcap last week. I think there were 32 different subplots in this week's episode of House. It was almost like watching an episode of Lost. Well, might as well sit down and get comfortable, because here we go.

We were graced with two different patients this week. The main one, and the one that the remaining candidates worked on, was a young man who had a degenerative muscular condition who suddenly fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. The second patient, the one that was treated by House alone, had recently been in an auto accident and was seemingly suicidal.

The wacky neighbor is a sitcom staple. Neighbors like Kramer from Seinfeld, Lenny & Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley, and Carl Brutanunanadilewski from Aqua Teen Hunger Force make for great entertainment. They're always part of some wild adventure or providing comic relief. But, let's face it: these people would make terrible neighbors in real life.

The real neighbors you want are ones who are courteous, quiet, and friendly. Or hot. Here are the seven television neighbors you'd want in real life:

The Chicago Tribune's Maureen Ryan has an interesting article on the hit FOX series House, including interviews with actor Robert Sean Leonard (who plays Dr. Wilson, both friend and foil to the incorrigible Dr. House) and Katie Jacobs, the show's executive producer. Despite his character growing on fans, Leonard claims he wants to keep his role small so he has free time to spend with his wife. Ah, that's sweet. We also get some insight into Hugh Laurie, who plays the titular role. Apparently Laurie is very self-critical when it comes to his American accent. Personally, I think he does it flawlessly, which is more than I can say for Michael Caine.

Oh yeah, and a reminder to House fans that the first part of a two-part episode airs this evening.

Despite the headline to this article which reads "JLo and Travolta set to do Dallas" neither of those actors are officially tied to the movie remake of the popular 1980s primetime soap opera. Director Robert Luketic has offered them roles, however, so it remains to be seen. Travolta would play JR Ewing, while Lopez would play Sue Ellen, his wife. Also in negotiations are Luke Wilson, who would play Bobby (he'd make a great Bobby, actually) and Shirley MacLaine, who would play Miss Ellie, the kind matriarch originally played by the late Barbara Bel Geddes. I'm mildly interested in the casting decisions for this movie, but it's diluted by the fact that this is yet another example of no one being able to come up with an original idea anymore.

But what the heck, let's have fun with it anyway. Who would you pick to play these roles?