TVSquad

"Capitol Records": Uggh. The Bush/American Idol photo-op. There's a throw-down in Lebanon, but Bush wanted to chill with Taylor Hicks. Well, the man gets what he wants. Elliott Yamin arrived a bit late for the event, but he had a good excuse (he was in a meeting with the president of Syria).

"Prime Ribbing": The only other guy that Bush has been spending quality time with is Prime Minister Tony Blair. That's been doing less than amazing things for Blair's standing in the UK. He's been getting teased in the House of Commons ever since Bush greeted him in public with "Yo, Blair!" Newbie European Correspondent John Oliver elaborated on the situation. Apparently, Bush didn't use "yo!" but "yeaux!", an old greeting dating back to the days of English knights. For example, one might have said, "Yeaux, Arthur! Nice joust!" John Oliver's timing was much better and smoother than that of the other recent English in-take, Dave Gorman (whom we haven't seen for a suspiciously long time). I guess the Daily Show folks are in a scramble to find some new folks now that Ed Helms is possibly on his way out.

TV Squad reader Jorge Gonzalez asked:

On Conan last night, The Red One said that Colbert teaches Sunday school. Seeing the kind of humor that Colbert displays, including his many "This Week in God" segments on The Daily Show, I find that hard to believe. Are you able to confirm that at all because I sure as shit can't.

Well, you're in luck, 'cause I, as the resident Colbert fangirl, sure as shit can confirm it. Yes, Mr. Stephen Colbert does teach Sunday school. In fact, this isn't the first time that he's mentioned it ("I go to church, I teach Sunday school. I have family values," he said here). Colbert's a devout Catholic, raises his children under the church, and even served as his daughter's catechist.

Jon Stewart was terrified by the image of two Dubyas on C-SPAN this Saturday (Myth: Bush has started reproducing asexually to build his Bush-Army. Fact: It was a Bush impersonator helping the president out on his speech), but calmed himself down once he saw his buddy Stephen Colbert take the stage. Stewart gave major props to Stephen Colbert for his performance at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner (an event at which the White House and the press "consummate their loveless marriage"). He called it "ballsalicious" and remarked, "We've never been prouder of him but... and... holy shit." His praise sounded like that of a proud father. I love the friendship between Jon and Stephen. As a viewer, one can really feel it. Group hug!

Al-Qaeda conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui has been deemed eligible for the death penalty. Jon couldn't help but wonder if the jury really even needed to step aside to deliberate, especially after Moussaoui took the stand and admitted to planning to crash into the Towers (bad move, defense). "Eh, we don't need to talk about it. Let's just kill the guy."

In these dark times, it is always nice to find some news to be giddy over... Jon Stewart was kind enough to remind us that there are less than a thousand days until the 2008 elections. Of course, there was much rejoice in the TDS crowd.

"Indecision 2008 -- Poll Dance": The victor from the Tennessee straw poll was none other than Senator Bill Frist. Yup. That Bill Frist. The audience didn't seem to appreciate the graph with the straws as much as I did... Maybe they were still trying to take in the news. President Bush tied for third place with 10%, even though, according to the Constitution, he cannot run for a third term. Eh. But what do we care about the Constitution?

Jon Stewart just became a daddy (again)! Jon started off by commenting on his wonderful weekend... His wife just gave birth to a baby girl named Maggie Rose Stewart, weighing in at 6 pounds, 9 oz. and 130 inches ("Like a tapeworm!" he exclaimed). Jon was clearly proud, as he should be. And is it just me, or has Jon's hair gotten remarkably more gray in the recent weeks? Not like I have a problem with it... The salt-and-pepper look suits him beautifully.