TVSquad

The TV is a weird beast. Your show can have ridiculously high ratings, receive greater critical claim than the Mona Lisa and achieve a cult following not seen since the People's Temple, and the network can still pull the plug on you.

TV Land doesn't work like Reality Land, if the Reality Land is in fact reality and not some bizarre reality land where meat-hungry producers are the gods of fate. TV has a different equation for success.

Here are the ten telltale signs that your new show will spend eternity shining in the pantheon of the cosmos and the rest of its life on Best Buy's DVD shelves.

What can you say about Bob Newhart that hasn't been written a million times over? He's a TV legend, with two classic sitcoms (The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart) on his resume. He's also a stand-up comedy legend, who left a humble accounting career to win a Grammy with his first comedy album, The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart, in 1960. He still tours today, and has been seen on both the big and small screens in a number of projects (Legally Blonde, Elf, ER).

On Sunday at 8 PM ET, he co-stars in The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice, the third in the Librarian series that has become a nice little franchise for TNT. He plays Judson, who acts as a guide and mentor to Noah Wyle's character of Flynn Carsen, a librarian who acts more like Indiana Jones than the person who stamps the insides of new books.

I spoke to Newhart by phone last week; we discussed the movie, shooting in New Orleans, his recent penchant for memorable supporting roles, and if he thinks the multi-camera sitcom has a future.

The buttoned down mind of Bob Newhart is coming back to TV. In August, Hallmark Channel will present Newhart in Herb's Murders, a two-hour original TV movie. And that's not all. Hallmark, which yesterday announced Jane Seymour in a detective movie called Dear Prudence, has other old TV favorites slated for original telefilms.

There's former 7th Heaven star Stephen Collins will star in The Ride of Her Life; Jacqueline Bisset has a holiday pic in the works called Thanksgiving Reunion, which will air in November; and Pam Grier, Florence Henderson (The Brady Bunch) and Donna Mills (Knots Landings) will headline Ladies of the House, about three women from the same church who team up on a home renovation project.