TVSquad

While ABC, NBC, and CBS have historically remained in a cutthroat battle for viewers, each network has shared one common trait: come the season of network promotional campaigns, all actors must be prepared to look absolutely ridiculous.

After the jump ... Remember this pop cultural gem (video below) that gained traction on the Net not too long ago? The sheer oddity of the clip alone forces us to ask ourselves several questions: do these people all live together? Why is Marla Gibbs dressed like an astronaut? Does Bea Arthur do everybody's shoppingl? CAN'T NELL CARTER JUST SIT DOWN AND REST HER FEET FOR A SECOND? (Seriously, give her a break!)

Let's face it, we get old. Some of us live a long and glorious life, dying happily in our sleep next to the 26-year-old Penthouse Pet of the Month who is just with our wrinkled old selves because we have money. Others live to the ripe old age of 30 and have a wonderful Lastday ceremony. It really doesn't matter...we get old one way or another.

Most of us try not to admit we are getting old. We use dyes, we have surgeries to move things around, and we pump ourselves with poison so our faces to retain that wonder wax museum sheen. Yet, there are those occasions where you hear about something that triggers that little part of your brain that makes you want to whip out the Bran Flakes and prunes. Here are just a few television-related events that may just have you looking for retirement communities in Florida.

This Sunday a new E! True Hollywood Story covers Punky Brewster and its star Soleil Moon Frye. Punky Brewster, when it aired in the 1980s, was the most popular sitcom for ages 4 to 4 and a half, or so the ratings grid that only exists in my head claims. Really, though, the show wasn't very good. Though I suppose my eight year old self would argue differently. I suppose for a light comedy about child abandonment it was pretty okay. The special, I assume, will cover all the seedy goings on that happened behind the scenes, such as cocaine and heroin use, cockfighting, and chickens doing blow and getting in knife fights backstage. I'm not sure if any of that is actually true, since I just made it up, but we can all watch it Sunday evening and find out for ourselves, then we'll come back here and compare notes.

[via Sitcoms Online]