TVSquad

Movie actors are a unique bunch of characters in Hollywood. Adept at script memorization, method acting, and being snobby little princesses (the males included), they are somewhat limited in their performance venues. They can switch pretty easily and thrive in theater productions because most of them began their acting lives on the stage in front of adoring audiences. Decades ago they could also do radio pretty easily; most likely because they could read right from the script and no one listening would know any different.

Television? Well, that's a whole different loaf a bread! For some reason, big-named movie stars with their Oscars and Golden Globes just tank when they decide to jump to the small screen. Their failures could be due to the show they've decided to star in, who they play on the show, or the fact that they are catering to a different audience than film-goers. Whatever the reason, some of Hollywood's most famous film stars had some famously big television flops. Here are but a few of them to digest.

Once upon a time, Hollywood made movies like Lifetime's Coco Chanel all the time. They were called women's pictures and gave the biggest stars of the times amazing roles, Bette Davis in Now, Voyager, Greer Garson in Mrs. Miniver, Rosiland Russell in Sister Kenny. Watching this excellent TV movie starring Shirley MacLaine as the older Coco and newcomer Barbora Bobulova as young Coco, I was enthralled and entertained.

You won't find a better TV movie on HBO or CBS or Hallmark Channel or anywhere else on the dial -- Lifetime set the bar high with this expansive biopic and then delivered the goods. Forget your idea of what a Lifetime movie is -- Coco Chanel is no victim of the week. If the intent was re-branding Lifetime movies with this effort, the cable net has hit it out of the park.

The planned movie remake of the hit '80s primetime soap Dallas has encountered numerous road blocks on its slow crawl to production. Jennifer Garner said no to role of Pam Ewing, then Jennifer Lopez, who was set to play Sue Ellen, dropped out of the project. Meg Ryan came in to take her place, but she has also left the project, along with Shirley MacLaine and Luke Wilson. That leaves John "JR Ewing" Travolta as the only one left out of the main cast. Apparently focus groups only liked the JR character, and director Gurinder Chadha was not happy with the casting choices. The abandoned roles will be recast, but it's not clear whether Chadha will stay with the project. Sounds to me like it might be time to put this particular dog to sleep for good and start working on a movie people really want to see: an animated version of Falcon Crest.

I believe a refresher course in common sense is in order: If it's poisonous, don't eat it. If it's hot, don't touch it. If it's called Dallas, film it in Dallas, Texas. Well, now no one can say I didn't try. Apparently, the minds behind the upcoming big-screen version of Dallas have decided to film in, of all places, Jacksonville, Florida. First of all, is a remake of Dallas really necessary? Second of all... Jacksonville?! Wow, all this makes about as much sense as having Jennifer Lopez in the movie... Or having the British director of Bend It Like Beckham head the project. Next up: All the dialogue will be done... in the form of Gregorian chants!

You can relax--you're not the only one who finds Paris Hilton annoying as hell. Shirley Temple-Black and Shirley MacLaine have both come out lately slamming the pet-rotating heiress. First MacLaine stepped up to the mat when someone suggested she is an icon. "Oh, hell, they're calling Paris Hilton an icon", MacLaine shot back. "It doesn't mean a thing to me."

MacLaine went on to blast Hilton for having the audacity to call herself an "actress", pointing out it took seven years for screen legend Bette Davis to earn the cred to have her name above the title on the screen. Damn straight, Shirley.