TVSquad

Americans are utterly obsessed with celebrities ... particularly their lives away from the limelight. Numerous television "news" programs and magazines highlight stars doing normal things that many of us would do on a daily basis. So, it was only logical that reality series have been built around some of these personalities to highlight their time away from the camera.

Yet it didn't work out as was intended. Rather than showing that these personalities were normal people, they showed the viewers how messed up they, and their families, really were. In some of the earlier Celebreality programs, they even showed unknown weaknesses that fans never knew existed. Despite all of this, viewers have been tuning into these shows each and every week to watch ... just like they would if video of different train wrecks were aired each week.

This fan base has given many of these stars a second, third, or fourth chance at success -- even if their boat sailed a long time ago. Such is the case during the Reality Revolution, where even the most famous can receive fifteen more minutes of fame.

The list of qualities that made Arrested Development such a great show is quite long, but somewhere near the top, right after the cast, is the list of recurring characters who were so hilarious. Here my ten favorite acquaintances of the Bluth family.

1. Barry Zuckercorn (Henry Winkler)
It is a credit to the brilliance of Arrested Development that an actor like Henry Winkler, who will forever be identified with the role of Fonzie, can be identified with a character who could not be more different. The hilarity that comes from Barry's sexual deviancy and complete legal ineptitude is reason enough to watch.

Like a lot of my TV Squad assignments, I went into this one under the belief that it would be a hoot. I figured that unreal reality shows would have a high camp value and I could enjoy them the same way that I enjoy The Last Dragon.

Here's what I learned: Gene Simmons... Bruce Leroy you are not. The next time I refer to something as a potential "hoot", I've given my wife permission to beat me unconscious with a shovel. A severe beating would be less painful than watching another minute of our nominee shows.

That said, I did enjoy the process of figuring out which show would "win" this award. After careful consideration of the words of my wizened TV Squad colleagues and the input of our enlightened readership, we have finally found our winner.

There's a bit by Patton Oswalt on his brain-meltingly good comedy album Feeling Kind of Patton regarding reality television. The short version: if we keep making reality shows, we will eventually run out of reality to film. (Believe me, the short version isn't even in the ballpark of how funny the bit is; go buy this album immediately).

Like Arthur C. Clarke's predictions of geostationary satellites and floating man-god fetuses, Oswalt's vision of a reality-free future is eerily accurate. While our physical space hasn't quite been eaten by a giant white wave yet, the signs of reality's destruction are as obvious as the motivations behind Tila Tequila's bisexuality. Most glaring? The very words "reality television" connote an unreal experience.

After careful consideration, we at TV Squad, along with your input, have winnowed down the hundreds of possible candidates for "most unreal reality show" to these five...

Let's face it, we get old. Some of us live a long and glorious life, dying happily in our sleep next to the 26-year-old Penthouse Pet of the Month who is just with our wrinkled old selves because we have money. Others live to the ripe old age of 30 and have a wonderful Lastday ceremony. It really doesn't matter...we get old one way or another.

Most of us try not to admit we are getting old. We use dyes, we have surgeries to move things around, and we pump ourselves with poison so our faces to retain that wonder wax museum sheen. Yet, there are those occasions where you hear about something that triggers that little part of your brain that makes you want to whip out the Bran Flakes and prunes. Here are just a few television-related events that may just have you looking for retirement communities in Florida.

In this business we call show, there are those people who never let us forget that they are involved to make money. Luckily, those people often occupy the off camera part of the business and let the performers worry about making art. Meanwhile, the business types sit back and try to think up ways they can make more money off of the performers. One of the most insidious ways is to appeal to the star's ego and convince them to make a recording. What follows are some of the best -- and by "best," I mean "WTF?"

Phyllis Diller
"You're Different"
Most people today recognize he name Phyllis Diller but have no idea why she was famous, however if they watch this clip, they can be sure that it isn't for singing.

I'm getting a strong vibe that when Scott Baio is 45...and Single returns to VH1 it's not going to be named Scott Baio is 45...and Single. If the title remains the same then new viewers are going to be awfully confused when they see the former Happy Days star in a committed relationship raising his brand new daughter.

A daughter that arrived a bit early. Instead of entering the world in December, Baio's daughter arrived on November 2nd, a good five weeks early according to reports. Despite the early arrival Baio's daughter weighed 5lbs. 10oz. at birth. Both the daughter and mother, Baio's long-time girlfriend (now fiance) Renee Sloan are doing fine.

The name of Baio's daughter has yet to be released. Therefore, we get to speculate. Erin? Joanie? Pam? Chachiella?

Remember when VH1 was home to videos that MTV would no longer play as well as shows like Behind the Music? Not anymore, it isn't. Today, VH1 is home to reality shows featuring many of your favorite (or not so favorite) 70's and 80's personalities. Recent shows have starred such icons as Christopher Knight, Danny Bonaduce and Dustin Diamond, who is sooo not Screech.

The most recent addition to this 'blast from the past' line-up was Scott Baio is 45 . . . and Single, which starred former Charles in Charge and Happy Days heartthrob Scott Baio. The show focused on Baio's issues with commitment and the lengths he went through to get past them all. Well, the show garnered enough attention (1 million adult viewers each week) that VH1 has decided to renew the show for a second 9-episode season. Production of this new season, which will comprise 6 half-hour and three hour-long episodes, will begin in the fall.

Slight spoilers after the jump. Don't blame me if you read them.

Hey, Brigitte here with TV Squad Daily. I'll be covering the TV stories I find interesting each day, Monday through Friday, in this video blog.

Today on TV Squad Daily:

• Scott Baio filmed a reality show about helping him find a meaningful relationship... while he was in one with his ex's stunt double. Yeah, it's complicated.
  
• Criss Angel of Mindfreak is having relationship issues too.
  
• The Simpsons Movie is responsible for turning your local 7-Eleven into a real-life Kwik-E-Mart.
  

The video's embedded below, or you can subscribe to this podcast via our feed. Plus, you can also download the file directly.

Scott Baio has a new reality show coming to VH-1 called Scott Baio Is 45...and Single. The only problem is, Scott Baio isn't really single. This story says that the former Happy Days actor is actually in a long-term relationship with former Playboy Playmate Renee Sloan.

Baio has supposedly been dating Sloan for a couple of years, including during the filming of the reality show. Sloan also used to be Pam Anderson's stunt double on Baywatch. Baio dated Anderson too. It all gets kinda tricky. Was Sloane Anderson's stunt double in her private life too?

Writer Paul Davidson is trying his damndest to get every single Hollywood star so ticked off at him that he is eventually banned from every restaurant, bar, coffee shop, supermarket, pharmacy, and movie theater in California.

This week: Chachi!

Davidson went to Mel's Diner recently, and was waiting for a table. A table was vacated, and the manager told Davidson that he could have the table as soon as it was cleaned. Enter Scott Baio, who got up from his chair at the counter with his food, and went over and sat down at the table! Did the manager bow down to the star? Did Baio have a fit? Did he go over and punch Davidson? Here's what happened.