TVSquad

(S01E08) Man, Eli got whupped this week! I'm not talking about a physical beating here...I mean something worse. On this week's episode of Eli Stone our main character got emotionally and metaphysically beat up. And, the wounds that those beatings created take a lot longer to heal than physical injuries. Hence, the reason why Eli had a bit of a meltdown this time around.

It was probably bound to happen sooner or later, for Eli is a man with much on his shoulders. First, he has that whole "prophet" thing going on. Then, he has this supposedly inoperable brain aneurysm that has refocused all of his daily activities. Finally, to top it off, he has not one, not two, but three women in his life that are causing him nothing but grief. Gosh, Eli has been pretty strong to get through all of that. But, he couldn't remain stoic for long. So, tonight he threw up his hands and gave up.

Gallery: Eli Stone -- Season 1

I think Jericho fans opened up a Pandora's Box.

Months after that show's fans got CBS to reconsider their cancellation by sending tons of nuts to the network (inspired by a line Skeet Ulrich said in the final episode), Journeyman fans have started a campaign to send boxes of Rice-A-Roni to NBC in hopes of getting them to change their mind (the show hasn't been "officially" canceled, but it doesn't look good).

If you haven't watched the show before, the reason why fans are doing this is because in one episode, our hero Dan Vasser went back in time to 1987 and got trapped in a giant box of Rice-A-Roni.

As most of you already know, Late Night with Conan O'Brien will be coming at ya from San Francisco for a full week starting this Monday, April 30.

There's a pretty cool list of guests lined up for the week, including Dana Carvey, Chris Isaak and Will Arnett. Of course, we'll also have to tolerate Robin Williams on May 2 (and he's listed as the only guest for that night, which is even more disturbing). Unless Williams miraculously figures out the difference between comedic improv and annoying self-indulgence before he appears on the show I'll be telling my Tivo to skip that episode.

(S05E02) This may have been the funniest episode of Monk I've ever seen. The sanitation workers of San Francisco have gone on strike and garbage is piling up all over the city. Monk, not surprisingly, is not taking it well at all, and actually mails his garbage to Dr. Kroeger, his shrink. Kroeger knows this because the garbage is actually sorted by size and color. Monk becomes so obsessed with ending the garbage strike that when the president of the union is found dead with a bullet to the head, he rules it a suicide without actually investigating. Natalie manages to convince Monk to investigate anyway, despite Monk's protest that what he's doing is "for the greater good."

Some experts say that we will never be able to develop an artificial intelligence that will be smarter than the smartest human. Others say that many of today's machines are already smarter than us.

Frankly, in my opinion, I think that they're all just playing with our heads in a subtle ploy to take over the world.

Paranoid, you say? Well, listen to the following story. A San Francisco man received an $800 phone bill from his empty vacation cabin in Michigan.  A month later he received another phone bill for over a thousand dollars. The culprit was not some teenage squatter, or even a brown bear who stole picnic baskets, but the man's TiVo box. Even though he had canceled the services several months before, the box was still making outside calls ... apparently to a 1-900 sex line in Singapore.

Last night Matt and Trey took aim at hybrid car owners, George Clooney, and the entire city of San Francisco, which they see as a place populated by smug couples with hyphenated names who close their eyes when they speak (cause that's what smug people do). Oh yeah, and they love the smell of their own farts. It's not really a South Park episode without some scatological humor.

In it's own way, South Park has been, for some time, enjoying the same kind of creative surge The Simpsons experienced once it stopped being the next huge pop culture phenomenon and its creators were able to focus on the series without a lot of outside noise. South Park, and more specifically Matt and Trey, have the added bonus of being, by choice, outside not only the Hollywood system, but isolated in such a way as to have left everyone and everything open for satire. In the episode, the "smug" from all the hybrid car owners in South Park begins to merge with the "smug" from the hybrid car owners in San Francisco. Things begin to get really serious, however, when the "smug" from George Clooney's Oscar acceptance speech also begins to drift, resulting in "the perfect storm of self-satisfaction." Not only do they take down an entire city with one fell satirical swoop, they're also not afraid to take a shot at someone who, I assume, they must have liked at one point, considering he appeared in their movie.

The episode had tons of great moments, from Stan's "gay little song" to Cartman being forced to don a vintage diver's suit in order to go into San Francisco and rescue Kyle, which was actually a rather bittersweet moment among all the San Fran bashing, with Cartman realizing that despite his hatred for Kyle, he just can't be "Cartman" without him.

Did you enjoy the American Idol auditions last night, from Austin, Texas? Here's some odd news for you:

They weren't filmed in Austin, Texas!

That's right. Seacrest did his intros, etc from Austin, but actual audtions took place in San Francisco, because Hurricane Katrina/Rita evacuees were in Austin at the time. So they flew the contestants to San Francisco and had them audition for the judges there.

Now, this isn't a big deal, but why not say it during the telecast?