As much as I loved The Real Housewives of New Jersey, I knew that I was loving it for all the wrong reasons. I'm New Jersey all the way: born here, went to college here, have lived here all my life. About ten percent of the people I've met fit the yelling, lunkheaded Jersey stereotypes we've seen on TV since The Sopranos; what I don't understand is where reality TV's recent fascination has been with the louder residents of the Garden State.
First it was Housewives. Then it was Cake Boss, where Buddy Valastro and his crew scream and gesture so much it's a wonder how their cakes don't collapse in the oven. Even TLC's relatively gentle Masters of Reception seemed to highlight the more "Jersey" aspects of my home state.
Now we have Jersey Shore, an MTV reality series premiering December 3. It documents goings on last summer in a shore house with the "hottest, tannest, craziest Guidos," according to this particularly annoying promo:
Real Housewives of New Jersey-related stories
MTV's Jersey Shore: yet another chance to laugh at the Garden State
Continue reading MTV's Jersey Shore: yet another chance to laugh at the Garden State
Real Housewives of New Jersey to guest on Mercy
The other day I wrote about watching Mercy during a mini-marathon that aired last Saturday on Bravo. Is it possible that someone at NBC Universal was reading my plaudits for the company using Bravo to promote an NBC drama series? I think so, because today comes to the news that two of the Real Housewives of New Jersey will guest on Mercy. That's right; you didn't read it wrong. Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita, the two who were having babies in season one of the show, will appear as themselves on the NBC medical drama, according to the Ausiello Files.
Continue reading Real Housewives of New Jersey to guest on Mercy
Hallelujah, The Real Housewives of New York are all coming back!
You can breath a sigh of relief now. Each and every one of The Real Housewives of New York City are coming back for Season 3. There, don't you feel better? After speculation that Bethenny was going off to do her own show and a rumor that Kelly wasn't invited back, Bravo has wrangled Jill Zarin, Ramona Singer, Alex McCord, Kelly Killoren Bensimon and Countess LuAnn de Lesseps for another installment of the Real Housewives.
Continue reading Hallelujah, The Real Housewives of New York are all coming back!
Cartoon Real Housewives is more believable than real thing
Note: this is probably the dirtiest thing we've ever posted on TV Squad. It has every single swear that George Carlin got in trouble for, plus about seven others. If you're easily shocked don't watch it, though if you already watch any of the Real Housewives shows, you're probably not shocked by anything.It's a cartoon parody of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, made by someone named KCSCougar. If you've never seen the show, well, after this you won't have to.
Continue reading Cartoon Real Housewives is more believable than real thing
Real Housewives of New Jersey Live ... no, really
When a television show like Barney does a live tour, you automatically know two things: 1. Barney will sing and dance and somehow be entertaining on some level, and 2. The show is geared towards children. That being said, why the hell would anybody host any sort of live performance of The Real Housewives of New Jersey? Well, it's happening at the Wellmont Theatre in Montclair, NJ.I mean, what are they going to do? Sing? Dance? Sit around and gossip about each other? Will it be some sort of round-robin discussion or interview where we learn even more things about these women that nobody except a very few give a damn about?
Only under very specific circumstances would I purchase tickets to this event. If the housewives were eaten by a bear onstage, I would pay to see that. But not just any bear ... a dancing circus bear that would perform after his meal. That would be cool.
Real Housewives of Jersey pay for the privilege of being reality stars
This news actually made my day. Apparently, in order to appear as "celebrities" on the television show The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the housewives themselves were not paid and in some cases owed the producers some of their non-television related income.This is brilliant! This solves the issue of declining profits for television. Want your own reality show? Then pay for the privilege. It's like buying commercial time without anything definitive to promote. If any of them start their own business as a result of their undeserved fame (like a line of clothing or something), will they owe that income to the producers as well?
No matter how much I loathe reality television, I loathe The Real Housewives of New Jersey just a little bit more. I applaud any opportunity to stick them with a fine for having the viewer subjected to them. The punchline to this joke would be if they all signed the same contract for their upcoming second season.
Think the Real Housewives of Jersey is over? Fuggedaboudit!
The power of The Real Housewives of New Jersey is amazing to me. I normally can't stand the Real Housewives series. And, as a lifelong Jerseyan, the Sopranos-esque stereotypes of pampered Bergen County wives initially made me queasy. But dammit, the show hooked me and kept me watching the whole season; it even led me to write the hacky headline above. Why? Because this one had a plot.The story of the creepily over-Botoxed Danielle Staub and how the rest of the Housewives found out about her sordid past was the thread that kept even Bravo-except-for-Top-Chef-averse people like myself tuning in. Oh, and the fact that they teased the "Last Supper" finale all season (showing matriarch Caroline saying "we're thick as thieves" about a thousand times) also kept me watching. And the finale didn't disappoint: people turning on each other, tables getting tipped over, exceedingly mature children horrified at their parents' behavior... it was great.
But if you thought it was over, think again. As the New York Post reports and Bravo has been promoting, the cable net will air four more episodes.
Continue reading Think the Real Housewives of Jersey is over? Fuggedaboudit!
Tonight's Real Housewives finale looks crazy, stupid
I hate when people refer to themselves in the third person, so when Teresa annoucnes "I'm just being myself. Being Teresa!" in the first clip below, it make me grit my teeth. But that's a very minor thing compared to everything else that seems to happen in tonight's season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey, including yelling, talk of oral sex, table flipping, and pushing and shoving. What a classy group this is.
Continue reading Tonight's Real Housewives finale looks crazy, stupid
What's On Tonight: Mental, Deadliest Catch, Real Housewives
At 8, ABC has a new Jimmy Kimmel Live, followed by the Magic/Lakers game.- NBC has the Penguins/Red Wings game at 8.
- TCM has High Noon at 8.
- At 9, FOX has a new Mental.
- Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9.
- At 10, FX has a new Rescue Me.
- Bravo has a new Real Housewives of New Jersey at 10.
- History Channel has a new Life After People at 10.
- There's a new Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern at 10.
- Spike has a new ECW at 10.
- Also at 10: MTV has a new Paris Hilton's My New BFF.
Check your local TV listings for more.
After the jump, the late night talk shows.
Continue reading What's On Tonight: Mental, Deadliest Catch, Real Housewives
What's On Tonight: According To Jim, Hockey, Web Soup, Paris Hilton
At 8, ABC has two new episodes of According To Jim (including the series finale), followed by Earth 2100.- NBC has a new I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Outta Here at 8, then Inside The Obama White House: Brian Williams Reports and the season finale of Law and Order: SVU.
- Versus has the Penguins/Red Wings game at 8.
- TCM has It Happened One Night at 8, then Mr. Smith Goes To Washington.
- At 9, FOX has a new Mental.
- The CW has a new Hitched or Ditched at 9.
- G4 has a sneak peek at Web Soup at 9.
- Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9, followed by a new Man vs. Wild (with Will Ferrell).
- At 10, FX has a new Rescue Me.
- Bravo has a new Real Housewives of New Jersey at 10.
- History Channel has a new Life After People.
- Sci-Fi has a new ECW at 10.
- Travel Channel has a new Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern at 10.
- Also at 10: MTV has the season premiere of Paris Hilton's My New BFF. Does she get a new best friend every year?
Check your local TV listings for more.
After the jump, the late night talk shows.
Continue reading What's On Tonight: According To Jim, Hockey, Web Soup, Paris Hilton
A star is born on Real Housewives of New Jersey (maybe)
I'm not a parent, but aren't all kids "always performing for people?" That's what Teresa says about her 7 year-old daughter Gia in this clip from Real Housewives of New Jersey. She takes the kid to audition for a role in a movie starring The Rock. I guess the road to stardom these days starts on reality shows.
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