TVSquad

Every apprentice who aims to journey on a quest fraught with peril and self-realization must seek someone with experience in facing it. He must consult with a man who not only has walked that road many times before, but has beaten it into submission until he emerged triumphant.

Hercules had to consult the Delphi Oracle if he wanted to avenge his family's death.

Rocky had to learn to trust Mickey if he wanted to defeat Apollo Creed.

Luke Skywalker had to find Yoda if he wanted to become a Jedi.

So if I wanted to achieve victory over the daunting behemoth of knowledge that is the Jeopardy! contestant test, I, too, would have to find an equally experienced and successful "Yoda" from the game show shire.

In short, Ken Jennings wasn't available but the Mace Windu of the Jeopardy! Council was.

If you've ever wanted to be a contestant on the legendary Jeopardy!, then get in line. It starts behind me. I already called dibs and stamped it.

Jeopardy! will conduct national online contestant tests this week on their official website. The tests will take place by timezone: Tuesday at 8 p.m. Eastern for people on the East Coast, Wednesday at 8 p.m. Central and 7 p.m. Mountain for residents in those time zones and Thursday at 8 p.m. for Pacific Coast, Alaska and Hawaii viewers.

As part of this annual game show tradition, I, your humble (not-so-much) TVSquad blogger Danny Gallagher, will also be one of the many, many people trying out for the most hallowed game show in the history of American broadcasting. And as always, you get to come along for the ride. Please keep all hands and arms inside the vehicle until my ego comes to a complete stop.

To me, Jeopardy! is the quintessential game show. At the end of a game, I walk away with a sense of awe that those three people could truly have the brains to retain such an amazing amount of information, then be put in front of millions of people to blurt pieces of it out on demand and faster than two other people -- in the form of a question, to boot. I'd often wonder how one could possibly prepare to be faced with that kind of pressure and what kind of unfathomable studying one would have to do to qualify for that show, never mind actually win. Several times.

Jane Espenson, who as some of you know has been extremely courteous enough to give her insights into her recent writings for Battlestar Galactica, sent me a copy of a book that opened my mind to the world of one very successful contestant on the greatest game show in the world, Bob Harris. That book is Prisoner of Trebekistan.