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(S01E02) Many people will tell you that they got sucked into Arrested Development by its pilot. I wasn't. For some reason, I didn't watch the pilot when it first aired. But that's just fine, because the second episode, "Top Banana," was a perfect representation of everything AD ended up being. Throwaway jokes. Quick cut-aways and flashbacks. Subtle catchphrase generation. A "lesson of the week" couched in vicious barbs between members of the Bluth family. Oh, and two words that I'll never forget: "No touching!"

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

I will admit, I was super late to the Arrested Development game. It had been canceled and I'm pretty sure everything was on DVD. Actually, I remember the first time I watched an episode, it was on G4. There was that guy from Teen Wolf Too and he was talking to David Cross, who was painted like a Smurf for some reason. And then he did some things that didn't really make sense, and I laughed nervously because I was worried I had become too stupid to keep up with sitcoms. I gave up after another ten minutes of confusion and switched over to Flavor of Love or something equally brain-numbing to make myself feel better.

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

(S01E01) Some shows come out of the gate with such a power that you can't help but stand up and take notice. For the far too few of us who happened to catch Arrested Development when it premiered, it quickly established that it was going to be something a little different than the other comedy fare on the television. The trend at the time was moving toward the single camera format, that's almost become the norm for comedies nowadays (The Office, My Name is Earl, hell NBC's entire Thursday night lineup).

There was a time when audiences were less receptive to this kind of television. It was funny, but minus a laugh track. So while shows like The King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond and even According to Jim had this comfortable format with the basic house set and laughter to cue us into the funny bits, AD was something a bit more challenging. Perhaps it was just a few years ahead of its time, or perhaps it was on the wrong network (FOX), or perhaps it was just too smart for its own good.

On today's episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Ellen will announce that she and long-time girlfriend Portia de Rossi are getting married.

Her announcement is in response to this week's ruling from the California Supreme Court that everybody has a "right to marry" whomever they choose. The justices ruled that the state's ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional. It makes California the second state, after Massachusetts, that will allow same-sex marriage. The legal battle began in San Francisco when the mayor allowed same-sex couples to marry (Rosie O'Donnell and her partner, Kelly, married at that time).

(S05E14) "I pretend to do the thing I actually do and suddenly I'm cool." - Sean

Going into this episode, I was really expecting it to be just be so-so. With the trend of so many other shows being cut short because of the WGA strike, I just assumed Nip/Tuck would fall victim as well. Not the case. Even if this season's full order of 22 episodes had been met, this installment was still clearly meant to be a mid-season finale. There's no way an ending like that gets a new episode the very next week. It worked here as the season ender and it worked well.

(S05E06) "These people are crazy. The only reason I moved out here was because they threw a bunch of money at me. And... the golfing opportunities." - Nurse Linda

What a great episode! It was different, unique for this show, and was clearly a challenge to shoot and edit so that the "reality" look and feel were achieved. It certainly wasn't the best episode of Nip/Tuck, but I'm all for stuff like this. Taking chances with proven formulas is something I can respect. Anybody pay attention to the beginning? When Christian was trying to convince Sean to do Plastic Fantastic with him? Christian made some comment about how "reality is the future." Granted this was written and shot at least a few months ago, but it's still a little eerie considering the current TV climate because of the WGA strike. Kind of ironic that we all sat down to watch a scripted drama spoofing reality TV when all these writers are fighting to be compensated for creative episodes like this and actual reality is slowly taking over every channel.

(S05E04) "I was attacked by a giant wedge-tailed eagle in Calgary." - Dawn

The return of the best guest star Nip/Tuck has ever had! Say what you will about Rosie O'Donnell (I couldn't stand her on The View), but when she steps into the shoes of Dawn Budge, it's gold. She was one of the highlights of last season (not to mention Christian's first paying "escort" customer) and her trip to Los Angeles easily made this episode an instant Nip/Tuck classic. From her hang-glider scene when the eagle attacked her to the face she made when the "ass bandit" had his way with her, she stole every scene she was in.

(S05E03) "Are you comparing the birth of your children to me shitting in a hot tub?" - Kate

I really don't know what Sean thinks he's doing. Sure, Kate seems nice. She's beautiful, smart, and funny too. But could you really find it in yourself to stay with someone who craps in a hot tub while you're trying to make out with them? It might sound shallow, but that definitely counts as a defining moment that should at least make you question the relationship. Kate has way too much emotional baggage and with the way Sean's life has gone, the last thing he needs is a crazy chick. Christian is right. Sean sure can pick 'em.

(S05E02) "No matter how old I get, these champagne cups seem to be frozen in time." - Fiona

Let the Hollywood exploitation begin! Two episodes into the new season and Ryan Murphy and Co. are already taking advantage of Nip/Tuck's new location. Competing Marilyn Monroe impersonators is something we would have never seen had Sean and Christian decided to stay in Miami. Now that they're out west, I'm quite sure that this will be the first in a long line of Tinseltown degenerates looking for ways to "enhance" themselves and make an extra buck.

Showtime series The L Word has partnered with a group of designers to bring the "L"ements of Style to viewers. Top sportswear, jewelry and accessories designers have introduced a line of products that capitalize on the show's sexy image. Ten percent of all sales go to breast cancer research organizations.

Among the designers included in the project are Desperate Housewives' costume designer Cat Adair and Queer Eye for the Straight Girl's token lesbian Honey Labrador. (I'm going to assume that she was named by Ian Fleming.) You can make Honey model the clothes for your amusement online in an interactive fashion show. The items for sale are way more appropriate for your Portia de Rossi lesbian than your Rosie O'Donnell lesbian, but that's pretty consistent with the L Word's glam appeal. Maybe Trump could buy up all the clothes to outfit an army of femme lesbians and send them over to Rosie's house to steal her girlfriend. According to the Don, "it wouldn't be very hard."

I've long had a theory that a poor title for a show can sink it. Not all on it's own mind you. But a crappy title can do enough damage to push a struggling enterprise right into the television dustbin. It's happened before, and I'm sure we'll see it happen again.

So, when I saw one of the upcoming shows for our new fall season move from a great title to a bad one, I thought it was time to make a list. These are the five worst titles for TV shows that came to mind for me. I look forward to seeing suggestions for those that I overlooked. Feel free to submit your favorite bad titles in the comments. And remember, there are no wrong answers, just wrong titles.

Double Emmys for Ellen DeGeneres again this year, as she won for best talk show and best host. DeGeneres thanked the fans and then she told her partner, Portia de Rossi (Arrested Development), "I love you."

Also, Barbara Walters introduced Rosie O'Donnell as the newest co-host of The View, since Meredith Vieira is headed to Today on NBC in September. O'Donnell said, "Well, thank God. It was either that or celebrity fit club."

Other winners at the Daytime Emmys:

Jeffrey Tambor, who played George Bluth, Sr. on Arrested Development, has signed on to a comedy on NBC. He will co-star with John Lithgow in Twenty Good Years, a comedy about two men in their 50s who experience mid-life crises and decide to make the most of their next 20 years.

Despite all the rumors that Arrested Development was getting picked up by Showtime, 20th Century TV released a statement earlier this week that there was no future plans for production of the show. Plus, show creator Mitch Hurwitz moved on this week.

Hey, at least Tambor's moving on to something that sounds pretty good. Jeffrey Tambor and John Lithgow? Sounds like a match made in heaven to me.

[Via The Hollywood Reporter]