Posts with tag PaulinaPorizkova
Posted May 15th 2008 12:47AM by JJ Hawkins
Filed under: OpEd, America's Next Top Model, Episode Reviews, Episode Recaps
(S10E13) The above screencap is the photographic equivalent of a horizontal suck sandwich.
Okay, that's not entirely accurate. The photos of Whitney and Anya are perfectly fine, but my hatred for the individual in the center pretty much taints the picture for me.
And in a broader sense, that's been the overarching flaw with cycle 10 of
America's Next Top Model.
Continue reading America's Next Top Model: And the Winner Is... (season finale)
Posted May 10th 2008 7:35AM by JJ Hawkins
Filed under: OpEd, America's Next Top Model, Episode Reviews
(S10E12) This cycle of
America's Top Model has made me want to start up a debilitating heroin addiction.
Week after week my favorites have flown out the door starting with the "excitable" Amis and ending with that travesty of an episode two weeks ago when the distractingly beautiful Kataryzna was yanked for "too being vapid." My words, not theirs.
I can't seem to figure out what the hell the judges are looking for this go around, but I sure can tell you what they got. Want to hear it? Here it goes.
Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Ready for My Close-Up
Posted Apr 24th 2008 9:40AM by JJ Hawkins
Filed under: OpEd, America's Next Top Model, Episode Reviews
(S10E10) I accidentally went through last weeks entire recap without a single mention of Lauren going straight Ginsu on her thumb.
I figured I shouldn't make the same mistake two weeks in a row so decided to intro with Anya's faceplant on a brick street..
We heard the requisite record play scratch immediately after she fell. We got Anya's diary room explanation of how it went down (literally). And we got to watch one girl out of five turn around and help Anya pry her mandible from the ground.
Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Viva Italia!
Posted Apr 2nd 2008 11:16PM by JJ Hawkins
Filed under: OpEd, America's Next Top Model, Episode Reviews
(S10E07) I cracked open my laptop and stared blankly at the screen for a good 30 minutes trying to muster up the will to write four to five paragraphs that ranted and raved about how much I
love Fatimanique.
Nothing came to me, so I cracked open a bible hoping that the good book would remove the hate from my heart, and grant me the ability to look past their demonic facades and love them like normal human beings should be loved.
It didn't work, so I cracked open a
Stella Artois hoping that some Belgium malt liquor would provide me with the liquid strength necessary to force my mind into pretending I gave a crap about these two medieval gargoyles.
Continue reading America's Next Top Model: If You Can't Make It Here, You Can't Make It Anywhere
Posted Mar 26th 2008 10:44PM by JJ Hawkins
Filed under: OpEd, America's Next Top Model, Episode Reviews
(S10E06) To be perfectly honest, I haven't paid a whole lot of attention to Aimee this season.
I mean look at her in the capture above. The waterfall or the buildings behind her have just as good a chance at capturing your attention as she does.
She's pretty nondescript to say the least and while she's a pretty girl and everything, she just hadn't done very much to stand out this season aside from profess her anxiety of being naked around other women. I'm not ashamed to admit I find that to be a turn-off.
Continue reading America's Next Top Model: House of Pain
Posted Mar 12th 2008 11:24PM by JJ Hawkins
Filed under: OpEd, America's Next Top Model, Episode Reviews
(S10E04) I have a confession to make. I've developed a bit of a crush on Amis.
It's not the psychotic plant-a-GPS-transponder-on-her-car-and-stalk-her crush that you might see on an episode of
Dateline or anything. I've simply grown fond of her goofy personality.She's got a real every-girl appeal about her and she's not the typical kind of model that you see coming on this show. I find her pretty refreshing. If Amis were to read this, I'm sure she'd find what I wrote slightly disturbing.
Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Where's the Beef?
Posted Mar 8th 2008 11:32PM by JJ Hawkins
Filed under: OpEd, America's Next Top Model, Episode Reviews
(S10E03) "Oh my God, I'm getting so annoyed with all of these girls!" - Allison
The full quote was too long to put here in the intro. Allison went on to say that she wants to strangle all of the other girls on regular basis and that she's not really threatened by any of them. Allison is convinced that she's light years ahead of everyone else thanks to all the experience she's had modeling in her lengthy 19 years of life.
While Allison is an extremely pretty girl, she's just got to go! The I'm-so-much-better-than-these-other-girls attitude she's been displaying since day one pretty much makes her the ugliest girl on the show, and that's saying a lot with Dominique still in the running. Can I get an "oh snap"?
Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Top Model Makeovers
Posted Feb 28th 2008 12:00AM by JJ Hawkins
Filed under: OpEd, America's Next Top Model, Episode Reviews
(S10E02) I'm still a bit shocked that Tyra went through all the trouble of opening up the competition to 14 girls this season and out of everyone she could have selected, she went with Dominique.
I mean, I admit that Dominique is a little bit exotic looking, but so were the baboons I saw the last time I went to the zoo. Umm, that came out wrong. That was horribly insulting to all the innocent baboons of the world. I take it back.
I kid, I kid. Dominique isn't
that unattractive, I just don't think she was the right choice for this competition. It almost seems like the only reason she's there is so the judges can crack drag queen jokes about her all episode long.
Continue reading America's Next Top Model: New York City, Here We Come
Posted Feb 21st 2008 12:15AM by JJ Hawkins
Filed under: OpEd, America's Next Top Model, Episode Reviews
(S10E01) It seems like only yesterday I was making fun of the "corpse bride" Jenah's slightly crooked teeth, and Victoria's all too annoying superiority complex during cycle 9 of
America's Next Top Model.
While I'll miss the crazy group of girls we had last year, I'm absolutely thrilled that I've got a whole new group of people to poke fun at with cycle 10.
Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Welcome to Top Model Prep (season premiere)
Posted Jan 18th 2008 5:27PM by JJ Hawkins
Filed under: America's Next Top Model, Casting
We're more than a month away from the cycle 10 premiere of America's Next Top Model, but it's never too early to get a little taste of what the next season will bring, right?
Of course not, and that's why I'm thankful The CW was kind enough to release the names of this cycles 14 finalists and a sparse number of details about the season.
Click onward to get a brief glimpse of the 14 catty women who will bite, claw, and accost their way to a $100,000 modeling deal with CoverGirl and a six-page fashion spread in Seventeen magazine.
Continue reading Cycle 10 finalists of America's Next Top Model revealed
Posted Mar 28th 2007 6:52AM by Brett Love
Filed under: ABC, Music and Variety, Dancing With The Stars
(S04E03) I'm always amazed at just how much programming ABC is able to mine from
Dancing With The Stars. The performance recap show that led up to the live results show was another good example. Not that there's anything wrong with it. I'm guessing that when the numbers come in that recap show will do two, if not three, times as many viewers as
George Lopez and
According To Jim would in the same slot.
Continue reading Dancing With The Stars: Week 2 results
Posted Mar 27th 2007 2:30AM by Brett Love
Filed under: ABC, Music and Variety, Dancing With The Stars
(S04E02) Two weeks in and I have to say that this is a pretty good group of contestants. The new format with two weeks of performances before the first elimination was a good idea. Sometimes a contestant just doesn't handle a particular dance well, so it's nice to see them get a second shot. Lots of contestants, so a lot to cover. Let's get to it.
Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough (Quick Step) - At its base, the show is about the "Stars." The partners certainly factor in though, and I continue to be impressed with Julianne. She might be just 18 years old, but she carries herself as well as any of the other pros. It doesn't hurt that she is absolutely adorable either. Apollo has officially impressed me now. I didn't have high expectations for him coming in, but he really shows the potential to be a contender. Len said Apollo is going to stay for weeks and weeks. Bruno called it cool, fresh, young, and exciting. Carrie Ann was impressed with the footwork and sync. High praise all around, and deservedly so. The scores, (8, 9, 9) I like that score. A great start to the night.
Continue reading Dancing with the Stars: Week 2
The Upfronts: FOX
Carter Bays of How I Met Your Mother: The TV Squad Interview
The Upfronts: CBS
