TVSquad

Last April, TV Squad reported that Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter were dating. Dexter dating his sister? The scandal!

I've got to give props to the couple, though ... they got married on New Year's Eve and managed to keep it a secret until yesterday. You think that's a coup, then get a load of this: Reuters reports that the couple dated for about a year and a half before marrying, yet the story of them dating only broke last April. So in this day and age of Hollywood gossip, they managed to keep their relationship a secret for almost a year, if Reuters is accurate.

So is it that the public is somehow respectful of serious actors, and awards them their privacy? Does the public -- and the media -- reserve their obnoxious invasion of privacy for the celebs who thrust themselves into the limelight, through either their bad behavior or the roles they choose?

Regardless, let's quietly extend our congratulations to the happy couple, both for their marriage and the fact that they were able to date and marry in private, with the kind of respect everyone deserves.

If you happened to be watching Fox News' 3-hour UParty 2009 New Year's Eve special, you might have caught a glimpse of some unbelievable words scrolling across the bottom of the screen. " ... and let's hope the magic negro does a good job. " Wait ... what the ... ?!

The ticker usually contains news bites from Fox itself, so those particular words might have garnered a little shock. As it turns out, though, it's all very innocent. Well, sort of. It was actually a text message from a viewer that said, "Happy New Year and let's hope the magic negro does a good job. Love, Jen and John C."

This should comes as no surprise to anybody: Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve With Ryan Seacrest was the most-watched TV special on New Year's Eve. The ABC special beat out Carson Daly on NBC.

Dick Clark has been doing these specials since I was a kid (they started in 1972) and I like so many others thought he'd be doing it forever due to his immortal nature. I'm beginning to suspect that the theories that he is, in fact, a robot might be untrue. Obviously the torch will eventually be passed to Mr. Seacrest (whose name now adorns the title of the show),

ABC should run a promotion stating that each year "could be Dick Clark's last year". That could boost ratings. On the other hand, it looks like they don't need the boost. The question is: when Dick is finally put out to pasture, will viewers abandon the sole host Ryan and start watching Carson?

It's probably a little too late to mention this, but you could ring in the New Year with Paris Hilton at the Trademark night club in Sydney, Australia, and it will only cost you $129.

That's just one of the many celeb ways you can toast to 2009. You could also party with Lindsay Lohan at Mansion night club in Miami for $200. Her girlfriend friend significant other publicity partner Samantha Ronson will be the one spinning the records. How about going to Las Vegas and spending $200 to party with Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz? You could also spend the night with Spencer and Heidi (from The Hills, if you don't know). Actually that sounds like the most depressing New Year's Eve ever, so don't do that.

You could also ring in 2009 at my house. You won't have to spend the above amounts, though I might ask you to pitch in for some bags of Doritos (Nacho Cheese flavor). I'll have Dick Clark, Anderson Cooper, and Kathy Griffin at my house.* Happy New Year!

*via television

Ryan Seacrest and Proctor & Gamble will be kissing cousins. Well, in the sense that they're co-running a charitable promotion to catch couples kissing on camera for New Year's Eve.

At first, I thought they were going to have various listed celebrities kiss Ryan Seacrest, which I would have found far more amusing (two of them are Billy Bush and Mario Lopez). Sadly, it is not. Ah, who'd want to kiss Ryan Seacrest anyway?

Scope mouthwash ran a similar promotion at the last New Year's Eve special. Frankly, I don't even watch the networks on New Year's anymore, but I understand that I'm in the minority. I prefer to be at a party with friends or watch reruns of anything I find entertaining.

Why can't the networks run a special showing people with hangovers the next day? Perhaps it could become a reality show when people realize with regret the next morning exactly who they kissed.