TVSquad

Last April, TV Squad reported that Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter were dating. Dexter dating his sister? The scandal!

I've got to give props to the couple, though ... they got married on New Year's Eve and managed to keep it a secret until yesterday. You think that's a coup, then get a load of this: Reuters reports that the couple dated for about a year and a half before marrying, yet the story of them dating only broke last April. So in this day and age of Hollywood gossip, they managed to keep their relationship a secret for almost a year, if Reuters is accurate.

So is it that the public is somehow respectful of serious actors, and awards them their privacy? Does the public -- and the media -- reserve their obnoxious invasion of privacy for the celebs who thrust themselves into the limelight, through either their bad behavior or the roles they choose?

Regardless, let's quietly extend our congratulations to the happy couple, both for their marriage and the fact that they were able to date and marry in private, with the kind of respect everyone deserves.

If you happened to be watching Fox News' 3-hour UParty 2009 New Year's Eve special, you might have caught a glimpse of some unbelievable words scrolling across the bottom of the screen. " ... and let's hope the magic negro does a good job. " Wait ... what the ... ?!

The ticker usually contains news bites from Fox itself, so those particular words might have garnered a little shock. As it turns out, though, it's all very innocent. Well, sort of. It was actually a text message from a viewer that said, "Happy New Year and let's hope the magic negro does a good job. Love, Jen and John C."

This should comes as no surprise to anybody: Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve With Ryan Seacrest was the most-watched TV special on New Year's Eve. The ABC special beat out Carson Daly on NBC.

Dick Clark has been doing these specials since I was a kid (they started in 1972) and I like so many others thought he'd be doing it forever due to his immortal nature. I'm beginning to suspect that the theories that he is, in fact, a robot might be untrue. Obviously the torch will eventually be passed to Mr. Seacrest (whose name now adorns the title of the show),

ABC should run a promotion stating that each year "could be Dick Clark's last year". That could boost ratings. On the other hand, it looks like they don't need the boost. The question is: when Dick is finally put out to pasture, will viewers abandon the sole host Ryan and start watching Carson?

When you put someone like Kathy Griffin, known for her racy, edgy, rather blunt humor, on a live broadcast from a Times Square filled with drunken hecklers, well, you know you're going to get at least one controversial moment. There were actually several moments like that on CNN last night, but only one that got the attention of the CNN censors.

During the live New Year's Eve coverage featuring Anderson Cooper/Griffin (they're not Martin and Lewis, but they're entertaining in their own way), Griffin was being heckled off-camera by someone in the crowd. As Cooper went to commercial, Griffin grabbed one of the classic stand-up comic lines out of her Rolodex of jokes and fired back at him. You can see exactly what she said in the video after the jump. Not sure if Griffin thought she was still on the air or if she knew she was still on the air and decided to say it anyway since it was late night cable.

For the rerun early this morning, CNN edited that portion of the show.

It's probably a little too late to mention this, but you could ring in the New Year with Paris Hilton at the Trademark night club in Sydney, Australia, and it will only cost you $129.

That's just one of the many celeb ways you can toast to 2009. You could also party with Lindsay Lohan at Mansion night club in Miami for $200. Her girlfriend friend significant other publicity partner Samantha Ronson will be the one spinning the records. How about going to Las Vegas and spending $200 to party with Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz? You could also spend the night with Spencer and Heidi (from The Hills, if you don't know). Actually that sounds like the most depressing New Year's Eve ever, so don't do that.

You could also ring in 2009 at my house. You won't have to spend the above amounts, though I might ask you to pitch in for some bags of Doritos (Nacho Cheese flavor). I'll have Dick Clark, Anderson Cooper, and Kathy Griffin at my house.* Happy New Year!

*via television

• TBS has a Tyler Perry's House of Payne marathon all night.
• Sci-Fi has a marathon of the original Twilight Zone all night.
• Disney has a Totally New Year's Eve marathon.
• HBO2 has a True Blood marathon.
• Comedy Central is showing South Park all night.
• Food Network has a new Next Food Network Star marathon all night.
• At 8, NBC has a new Knight Rider.
• PBS has a new Live From Lincoln Center New Year's Eve concert at 8.
• At 10, ABC has Dick Clark's Primetime New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest (whew!).
• NBC has New Year's Eve with Carson Daly at 10.
• CNN is covering New Year's Eve too, with a special Anderson Cooper 360 at 10.
• At 11, FOX has New Year's Eve Live.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.

Ryan Seacrest and Proctor & Gamble will be kissing cousins. Well, in the sense that they're co-running a charitable promotion to catch couples kissing on camera for New Year's Eve.

At first, I thought they were going to have various listed celebrities kiss Ryan Seacrest, which I would have found far more amusing (two of them are Billy Bush and Mario Lopez). Sadly, it is not. Ah, who'd want to kiss Ryan Seacrest anyway?

Scope mouthwash ran a similar promotion at the last New Year's Eve special. Frankly, I don't even watch the networks on New Year's anymore, but I understand that I'm in the minority. I prefer to be at a party with friends or watch reruns of anything I find entertaining.

Why can't the networks run a special showing people with hangovers the next day? Perhaps it could become a reality show when people realize with regret the next morning exactly who they kissed.

Today, Monday September 10, 2007, TV Squad is remembering blogger Adam Finley who passed away tragically late last week. All front page posts will be staff picks of Adam's writing through the years.

NBC has extended Carson Daly's contract for two more years, which means I'll have two more years to not watch Last Call with Carson Daly.

It's not that I dislike Carson Daly. I've caught his show a few times and he's actually quite likable. The problem is that it's on really late at night and I have to get to bed early so I can wake up at sunrise and feed the chickens. This requires getting up early because I don't actually own any chickens and have to trespass onto random farms. It is my belief that all chickens are grossly underfed, but that's beyond the point.