TVSquad

When NBC did its upfront -- it wasn't really like the other networks, because they had leaked so much information -- one of the things the powers that be decided to do was split the season into two sections. Or two official seasons. It all seemed a bit strange, and now that NBC has gotten off to such a dreadful start, things are changing. One change seems to be that Chuck may be back before March.

I have to admit, I've been slightly obsessed with checking the mid-season replacement schedule over at The Futon Critic. You see, I've been waiting to find out when one of my favorite shows from last season, Reaper, would be coming back.

Finally, I need wait no more: The CW has finally announced Reaper's timeslot, and it's not half bad. Or, I guess it is half bad, depending on how you look at it.

First things first: it's not on Friday night, which is something I feared because CW's schedule is so wide open on that night. So that's good, right?

Thanks Chef Michael Symon, but your services are no longer needed on Dinner: Impossible. Yes, he's been given the pink slip because it seems the folks at Food Network realize that they may have acted a bit rashly when they changed chefs last April. The Food Network has rehired Robert Irvine and will reinstate him as the host of Dinner: Impossible.

Apparently, fudging his resume wasn't quite the high crime and misdemeanor it was made out to be. In fact, the network's dramatic reversal is proof positive that Dinner: Impossible has not been the same show with Chef Robert.

It's easier to forgive Irvine for padding his credits -- including facts like cooking for the Queen and preparing meals at the White House -- than it was to find as charismatic a star to anchor the weekly show.

I really wanted to like this show, but I couldn't even make it through the first episode. Although, to be honest, the only thing that made me want to check it out was knowing that Penn Jillette was hosting it. I've been a fan of Jillette's for years, both solo and as one-half of Penn and Teller, but watching Identity was like listening to paint dry -- not watching paint dry, listening to it dry, which is much more boring.

Since networks don't make decisions based on my personal preferences, Identity will be returning to NBC Fridays in March. The first new episode will air at 9:00 p.m. on March 16, and will then slide into its regular timeslot beginning March 23 at 8:00 p.m.

Okay readers, should I have given the show more of a chance? Is it actually better than I thought it was? I'll admit I might not have been in the right mood when I watched it. Perhaps I had just been shot down by a girl at the bar, or maybe I ate some bad ham. If you think it deserves a second look, here's your chance to convince me.

Jonathan, our resident Aqua Teen Hunger Force reviewer, mentioned that last season's finale aired in the inexplicable timeslot of 3:30 a.m. on December 22. if you missed it, and undoubtedly many of you did, the episode will air again on March 11 at 10:30 p.m., according to the Adult Swim schedule grid.

Given the original timeslot this aired in and the fact that this "new" episode (the grid lists it as a "premiere") is tossed in among a bunch of Aqua Teen repeats, it almost feels as if Adult Swim doesn't want people to see this episode. I don't actually believe that, but criminy, they're not making it easy for us fans to catch it. If I have one major pet peeve about the way Adult Swim operates it's that it makes it nearly impossible to find information and news about its programming. I have to hire retired FBI agents and Navy Seals just to bring readers these small snippets of info. Believe me, you can only pay these men in Hostess products for so long before they leave for better work. It's not a perfect system, but I do what I can.

It's almost time to warm up the barbecue, invite your friends over, open a few beers, and then tell everyone to get the hell out of your house so you can watch South Park. That's right, the eleventh season of the show kicks off March 7 at 10:00pm on Comedy Central.

I'm ninety-nine percent sure I'll be reviewing the episodes again, since I know a lot of you love to talk about the show. South Park has never been timid in its satire, but last season it really gave a beat down to Al Gore; 9/11 conspiracy theories; Oprah and James Frey; censorship through intimidation; science vs. religion; and Scientology (again). I think season ten marked some of the best episodes of the series so far, and I can't wait to see what Matt and Trey have on tap for season eleven.

The second season of Boondocks was supposed to kick off later this year, but that's no longer the case. Don't worry fans, the show is still coming back for a second season, but creator Aaron McGruder says production is taking longer, and that they're simply trying to make this season look better than last season. In other words, there's no bitter contract disputes or any kind of in-fighting going on, McGruder just wants the show to look good. Waiting can be a bummer, but it sounds like once the new season begins in March of 2007, it'll be well worth the wait for fans of the series. Oh yeah, and instead of fifteen new episodes, the network has ordered twenty. Until then, I guess we'll just have to enjoy the DVD.

Things are really starting to heat up on the networks this week as seven new shows grace the schedule. Most notable, Dennis Haysbert returns to television in The Unit, which is produced by genius playwright David Mamet. ABC also launches its new part-scripted, part-improvised comedy, Brothers and Sisters, and the race-swapping reality show, Black.White, makes its debut on FX. Oh, and Lil' Kim gets her last 15 minutes of fame before going to the slammer.

• Pros Vs. Joes, Mondays @ 10pm on Spike (premieres March 6)
• Ordinary people face off against pro athletes like Karl Malone, Bo Jackson, Jerry Rice, Jennie Finch, etc. This is for sports fans with big mouths.

• The Unit, Tuesdays @ 9 on CBS (premieres March 7)
• Dennis Haysbert returns to action-packed television, this time as the leader of a special ops team that goes on risky missions across the globe. The show is about the missions, but also about how the families at home handle the stress of living in secret. Produced by David Mamet.
  

There are a TON of new programs coming up in March. I was going to do one post with all of them but it is so long, I don't think anyone would read it. I sure wouldn't. So, I'm breaking it up, week by week.

This week, only three new shows hit the schedule. By mid-march, this list will be much longer.

• Free Ride, Sundays @ 9:30 pm on FOX (premieres Weds, March 1 @ 9:30 pm)
• Part scripted, part improvised, Free Ride is about a son who returns to his parents' home in Missouri after graduating from college. Interesting cast member: Mr. Allan Harvey, one of the pioneers who had a show on Comedy Central when it was just a start-up network.
• Spying on Myself, Wednesdays @ 10 pm on A&E (premieres March 1)
• I'm betting people didn't realize what they were in for when they signed up for this one. Willing participants are disguised and then they set out to talk about themselves to find out what their family and friends really think about them. I'm guessing they get their feelings hurt, otherwise where's the entertainment?

• Conviction, Fridays @ 10 pm on NBC (premieres March 3)
• Novice Assistant District Attorneys deal with workloads, judges, and victims in NYC. A preview is already available on iTunes.

Don't worry, they're not cancelling Monk. Remember, we've got at least one more season after this one. However, you won't be seeing any new episodes until early March, thanks to the Winter Olympics. So instead of watching an obsessive compulsive genius solve crimes you can watch fun sporting events like full contact figure skating, three-legged downhill skiing, polar bear mocking, and whatever the hell else they do during the Winter Olympics. If you are jonesing for a Monk fix, USA's site for the show has some webisodes and character blogs. Yeah, I know, it's not much, but you have to take what you can get sometimes.