TVSquad

I finally, and with great difficulty got the tree up, I've somehow gotten roped into holding a cookie exchange at my house this weekend, and I have glitter in places where glitter should not be. What's that smell? It smells like Festivus to me. While the main thing I want this year is to just lie very, very still in a dark room for a week or so, this is a TV blog, so let's talk about what TV could do to make me happy!

• Stop with the long hiatuses already! I don't get to see a new episode of V until March, and I'm being forced into leading a Glee-less existence until April. Give it up already! If you have 3 months between new episodes, it's a new season, why not call it that? You know what I have been doing for the past 11 weeks? Watching the first 11 episodes of Dexter. This week, I will be watching episode 12, and then the season will be over. It's efficient and satisfying. The networks need to get on board.

Oprah Winfrey is all over the news these days as she fires up her new network and considers moving her talk show from Chicago to Los Angeles.

Now, we get to listen to her narrate the epic BBC nature series, Life. Subtitled by the BBC with, "The Definitive Exploration of the Adaptability and Diversity of Life on Earth," the eleven-part series examines evolution and the behaviors that animals devised to live, thrive and survive. Discovery Channel is bringing it your way in March after Oprah vocalizes a bit.

I know the BBC has done this sort of thing before. In fact, no one does it better. But this time around, they're using state-of-the-art high-definition filming techniques.

But why is Oprah necessary? I have nothing particularly against the woman. Despite her massive media pull, I manage to more or less steer clear of her estrogen fest. But, the BBC production comes pre-narrated with world-famous naturalist, Sir David Attenborough. Is over-dubbing necessary?

Here are the new TV DVDs, in stores tomorrow.

Well. This week has a little bit of everything, no matter what the TV fan is looking for. We have current shows (NCIS, House, Scrubs), recent shows that have been canceled (Life, Samantha Who?), classic shows you probably thought you'd never seen on DVD (Wiseguy, Wanted: Dead or Alive), kid shows (Suite Life on Deck, Sonny with a Chance), cartoons (Batman, Dungeons & Dragons), and quirky reality and/or documentary shows (Dog The Bounty Hunter, MonsterQuest, The Universe).

There's also two DVD sets called TV Sets, which are a mix of various episodes of sci-fi shows (Star Trek, The 4400, Medium) and crime shows (Streets of San Francisco, Dexter, CSI: NY).

I'm still not sold on that show title; Terriers makes me think of little dogs yipping and running around. But FX and Shawn Ryan created magic with The Shield, and Ted Griffin made Ocean's Eleven so much fun. So I'm really excited about the show. My excitement can even withstand the news that Donal Logue (Life) has been cast in the lead role of Terriers.

I've never connected with Logue. I thought Grounded for Life was mostly crap, and he wasn't as "amazing" as the critics told me he was going to be in Knights of Prosperity. He has done better in some of his dramatic work. Maybe I'm just bitter that the hype machine told me Knights was going to be the greatest sitcom of the last millennium, and the next.

Defying all odds and the writers' strike curse, Chuck has managed to snag a third season on NBC. So what now? Obviously, new episodes won't start airing until after the Winter Olympics, so fans and those associated with the show and NBC have a few months before they need to begin obsessively tracking the ratings. But that doesn't mean that fans are taking the summer off.

Chucktv.net, a Chuck fansite, is hosting "Chuck Me Mondays," starting June 1st. They're inviting both current fans and those who are just wanting to know what all the Chuck fuss is about to watch the spy comedy as a group Monday nights at 9 PM. While you watch, you can comment on the episode right on their site, or on Twitter, with the objective being to make Chuck a trending topic on the micro-blogging site every Monday. They're starting with the pilot and working all the way up to the season 2 finale-- it's a crash-course in all things Chuck.

While they haven't yet made an announcement about other on-the-bubble shows, including Medium, Law & Order, and of course, Chuck, NBC's Ben Silverman has confirmed that Life has indeed been canceled. Life is just the latest victim of the Writers' Strike curse: ABC's Pushing Daisies, Eli Stone, and Dirty Sexy Money are among some of the other series that had their freshman seasons interrupted by the strike that began in November of 07, and won't live to see a third season.

Other second season shows, including the aforementioned Chuck, along with ABC's Samantha Who? and FOX's Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles are currently on the bubble. The CW's Gossip Girl is one of the few shows that premiered during the 07-08 season that is definitely going to make it to the 09-10 one.

The strike spooked the networks and advertisers, and we're obviously feeling the effects now, over a year after it ended. What it boils down to is a lot of great shows are suffering-- and Ben Silverman is a dick.

• At 8, ABC has a new Scrubs, then new episodes of Better Off Ted and Lost, and then the series premiere of The Unusuals.
• CBS has a new Old Christine at 8, followed by new episodes of Gary Unmarried, Criminal Minds, and CSI: NY.
• FOX has new episodes of Lie To Me and American Idol.
• The CW has a new America's Next Top Model at 8, and then another new episode ("never before seen footage" recap).
• At 9, NBC has the season (series?) finale of Life.
• There's a new Ghost Hunters on Sci-Fi at 9.
• Also at 9: PBS has a new American Masters.
• At 10, TBS has two new episodes of Tyler Perry's House of Payne.
• Comedy Central has a new South Park at 10, then a new Reno 911.
• A&E has a new Dog The Bounty Hunter at 10.
• Food Network has the season premiere of Dinner: Impossible at 10.
• TV Land has the season finale of High School Reunion at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.

• At 8, ABC has a new Scrubs, followed by new episodes of Better Off Ted, Lost, and the series finale of Life on Mars.
• CBS has the April Fool's special I Get That A Lot at 8.
• FOX has new episodes of Lie To Me and American Idol.
• The CW has a new America's Next Top Model at 8.
• At 9, NBC has a new episode of Life.
• Food Network has a new Throwdown with Bobby Flay at 9.
• Also at 9: Sci-Fi has a new Ghost Hunters.
• At 10, Comedy Central has a new South Park, then the season premiere of Reno 911!
• FX has the season finale of Damages at 10.
• A&E has a new Dog The Bounty Hunter at 10.
• MTV has a new Real World at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

The folks at our sister site Cinematical are working hard to give you news and reviews of the best -- and worst -- the silver screen has to offer. Here are some of their musings on the latest blockbusters, indies, and everything in between:

• Chuck's Zachary Levi is in a movie! He plays Ray, a half-Pakistani/half-white actor trying to make it in Hollywood and dating Life's Sarah Shahi. It's a TV bonanza! Check out the trailers for Shades of Ray over on Cinematical.
• I knew that The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan collaborated with his brother on the script for Memento, but it's his other brother who is wanted for kidnapping and murder. Get the details on Cinematical.
• With the economy in the crapper, nobody really gives a crap about the environment at the moment, but you can still do some good. If you buy a ticket to Earth on its opening weekend, Disney will plant a tree in your name.
• I really want I Love You, Man to be good. Read Cinematical's review to see if it's worth seeing this weekend.
• ...Or if Bromances aren't your thing, you can check out Julia Roberts' return to the big screen in Duplicity--but check out Cinematical's review first.

• At 8, ABC has a new Scrubs, followed by the series premiere of Better Off Ted and new episodes of Lost and Life on Mars.
• CBS has a new Old Christine at 8.
• NBC has a new Chopping Block at 8, followed by new episodes of Life and Law and Order.
• FOX has new episodes of Lie To Me and American Idol.
• There's a new America's Next Top Model on The CW at 8.
• At 9, CBS has a new Criminal Minds, then a new CSI: NY.
• History Channel has a new MonsterQuest at 9.
• Sci-Fi has a new Ghost Hunters at 9.
• At 10, Comedy Central has a new South Park, followed by a new Important Things with Demetri Martin.
• FX has a new Damages at 10.
• A&E has a new Dog The Bounty Hunter at 10.
• Travel Channel has a new Man vs. Food at 10.
• Also at 10: MTV has a new Real World.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

• At 8, NBC has a new Biggest Loser, followed by a new Life.
• FOX has a new, two-hour American Idol at 8.
• At 9, ABC has a new Lost, then a new Life on Mars.
• CBS has a new Criminal Minds at 9, followed by a new CSI: NY.
• PBS has a new America's Ballroom Challenge at 9.
• History Channel has a new MonsterQuest at 9.
• Sci-Fi has a new Ghost Hunters International at 9.
• At 10, TBS has two new episodes of Tyler Perry's House of Payne.
• Bravo has the season finale of Top Chef at 10.
• FX has a new Damages at 10.
• MTV has a new Real World at 10.
• A&E has a new Dog The Bounty Hunter at 10.
• Also at 10: Food Network has Guy's Big Night.
• At 10:30, Comedy Central has a new Important Things with Demetri Martin.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

If you're a fan of '70s and '80s TV, you've probably been having a bunch of a "wha the?" moments over the last year or so. When this particular little white-haired older lady shows up on a show, she doesn't look familiar, but then you hear the matronly but deep voice, and you realize who you've just seen on your screen.

It's Mrs. Garrett! Only by the time you realize it, she's gone, leaving you to wonder if you were imagining things.

Don't worry; you're not going insane. We've been seeing a lot of Charlotte Rae, who played Edna Garrett on Diff'rent Strokes and The Facts of Life, on TV lately, mostly playing tiny roles that involve maybe a few lines at the most. In fact, just last night, she played a suspect's mother on an episode of Life.

Welcome back from your humongous hangover. I just wanted to let you know that you are now in 2009 -- a fresh new year that we should look forward to. However, since you are a common citizen of Earth, you don't look ahead to a future. Instead, you look to the bleak and bloated year that has now passed.

That's why they invented "Best and Worst" lists for the previous year. It gives you a chance to remember last year's crap, get angry, proceed to get drunk, pass out, wake up, and forget it's a new year again. At that point, you get angry again. It's a vicious cycle and we love it! With that, here's my "Best and Worst" list for 2008.

• At 8, ABC has a new Pushing Daisies, followed by new episodes of Private Practice and Dirty Sexy Money.
• CBS has a new Old Christine at 8, then new episodes of Gary Unmarried, Criminal Minds, and CSI: NY.
• NBC has A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa at 8, followed by a new Life.
• FOX has a new Secret Millionaire.
• The CW has The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at 8, then a new Stylista.
• PBS has a new Great Performances at 8.
• There's a new Time Warp on Discovery at 8.
• TNT has Christmas in Washington at 8, then the Patrick Stewart version of A Christmas Carol.
• Also at 8: Nickelodeon has Christmas episodes of The Naked Brothers Band, Fairly OddParents, and Home Improvement (two episodes).
• At 9, HGTV has White House Christmas 2008.
• Hallmark has Peter Falk in the movie When Angels Come To Town at 9.
• At 10, TBS has two new episodes of Tyler Perry's House of Payne.
• Martha Stewart guest stars on a new Top Chef on Bravo at 10.
• Sci-Fi has a new Estate of Panic at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.

When NBC announced that Jay Leno would take over the 10pm slot every weekday night, a lot of people worried that not only would this mean that some of their favorite 10pm shows would either be canceled or moved to another time slot, they also worried that NBC was signaling that they were giving up on scripted shows. NBC sent out a memo saying "this does not reduce NBC's commitment to scripted programs" and that it "enables us to focus on scripted development for 8-10pm." But it seems like they'll have no room for any more scripted shows.

I hope I'm wrong about this but just looking at what NBC has on their schedule it makes me wonder.

Here's a list of the reality and/or games shows that NBC has or will have on the schedule: