TVSquad

So just who had the unbelievably huge Mammoth balls to extort late night legend David Letterman? You're looking at him, not his balls thankfully.

Robert "Joe" Halderman, pictured at the right sitting in his unholy beach chair of evil, is the man the Manhattan District Attorney's Office brought extortion charges against for trying to score more than $2 million from Letterman as part of a blackmail plot.

Letterman admitted on the air that he had a sexual encounter or encounters with members of his staff, and that Halderman used the info he had on those encounters as leverage to extort money from him. I've got three to one odds that the "Fire David Letterman" club awards Halderman their "Humanitarian of the Year Award."

According to New York City's Department of Correction records, Halderman received a felony count of attempted grand larceny. He entered a not-guilty plea at his arraignment.

The world is facing a population explosion of Biblical proportions. People are procreating and reproducing faster than sustenance reserves and housing requirements can keep up with it. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have officially given up adoption for the next three Lents.

Something has to be done that doesn't involve condoms, birth control pills, or taking a hammer to certain parts of the human anatomy.

India claims they have found a solution. Television?

A lot of memories have surfaced of the good times that pop icon and musical genius Michael Jackson provided the world in the wake of his untimely and unfortunate death. However, an elephant in the room has wedged its wide butt in between the happy memories that range from "Billy Jean" to "Rockin' Robin," other than the eye-bleedingly bad Moonwalker movie.

Jackson's life outside of the recording studio and in the blood-soaked pages of the supermarket tabloids provided a lot of fodder for comedies and comedians that turned the man into a punchline just as fast as the radio waves turned him into a legend.

You gotta love the ol' rumor mill. It sleeps less than Amy Winehouse.

Conan O'Brien hasn't even finished his first week as the new host of The Tonight Show and the insiders are already churning out rumblings about Jay Leno's new show.

Some sources close to the network and The Jay Leno Show told Kim Masters of The Daily Beast that Leno is slowly growing unhappy with his new time slot and the changes that are being made to the new show by the network. There are even concerns that the stress of the situation is starting to take a toll on the host's health.

Every year, C-SPAN looks forward to a sharp boost in ratings while the White House press secretary cringes towards a sharp drop in approval points in the long shadow of the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner.

It's a chance for the current administration to let their hair down and show everyone that they can take a good joke and stand some pointed criticism in the K-Street jungle. That should explain why the last Bush administration hired Rich Little to do their show in '07.

Does the thought of this face in 720 lines of crystal clear resolution make the soup you had for lunch a week ago rise in your gullet?

If so (you extremely shallow human being who will spend life alone until you die), then you'll be pleasantly surprised to learn that Jimmy Kimmel's first foray into high definition television was quite an improvement.

He even showed his viewers just how beautiful the difference was by making the switch live on the air during Tuesday night's episode.

• At 8, NBC has a new Howie Do It.
• FOX has a new Sarah Connor Chronicles at 8, then a new Dollhouse.
• PBS has new episodes of Washington Week, NOW, and Bill Moyers Journal.
• MyNetwork TV has a new Smackdown at 8.
• Cartoon Network has a new Batman: The Brave & The Bold at 8.
• Also at 8: Disney has a new Suite Life on Deck.
• At 9, ABC has a new Supernanny, followed by a new 20/20.
• NBC has a new Friday Night Lights at 9, then a new Dateline.
• The CW has a new 13: Fear Is Real at 9.
• USA has the season finale of Monk at 9, followed by the season finale of Psych.
• Disney has the movie Dadnapped at 9.
• At 10, E! has a new episode of The Soup.
• Sci-Fi has a new Battlestar Galactica at 10.
• Comedy Central has two new episodes of Comedy Central Presents at 10.
• Also at 10: HBO has the season premiere of Real Time with Bill Maher.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

A lot of people, myself included, have been hard on Jimmy Fallon's chances for bringing the funny with his new late night show.

I've put the cart before the horse so many times with the new Late Night host that there's a good chance I'll end up with bloody hoof-prints on my face come this summer.

But this Page Six item in that bonfire of journalistic integrity, The New York Times Post, gave me even more mixed feelings about Fallon's future in his quest for the attention of bleary, bloodshot eyeballs across the fruited plain.

If you live in New York (first of all, you have my deepest sympathy) and you've been itching to catch Late Night with Conan O'Brien in person since you moved out there to pursue some crazy dream that will only leave you penniless, heartbroken and homeless, your time is running out.

The big-headed one will film his last show in the New York studio on Feb. 20, according to the show's website.

And since he leaves no corner of his little universe jokeless, anyone can get tickets to his remaining New York shows by shooting an email to conangobyebye@nbc.com.

Remember the good old days, when becoming a joke in Johnny Carson's monologue was considered a bad thing for politicians? Some wily, horny old goat on the Senate Subcommittee for Restocking the Senate Office Supply Cabinet would get caught with a hooker nest in the middle of an underground speakeasy. And before you could say "Heavens to Teddy," he would be the punchline of some joke that involved a gallon of bathtub gin, a forklift full of Chinese geishas, and at least two camels.

Those days are deader than disco. 2008 marked an historic turning point in American politics, since politicians quadrupled the number of appearances they made on late night comedy shows.

Oh, and America elected their first African-American president, too.

Next year marks a changing of the guard for Conan O'Brien from Late Night to The Tonight Show. It'll be an easy transition for the fair-skinned one since he's already got a recipe for success: a die-hard audience, smart and inventive writers and puppets that curse.

The real challenge will be for Jimmy Fallon, Conan's Late Night successor, who hasn't had much TV time since he left Saturday Night Live for a movie career that made Chevy Chase's lineup look Lawrence Olivier-ian.

Variety reports that Fallon will first test the airwaves' waters instead of doing a full-blown cannonball by starring in some "webisodes" on NBC.com starting Monday.

• At 8, ABC has a new Ugly Betty, then a new Grey's Anatomy and Barbara Walters 10 Most Fascinating People.
• CBS has a new Survivor at 8, followed by new episodes of CSI and Eleventh Hour.
• NBC has new episodes of My Name Is Earl, Kath & Kim, The Office, 30 Rock, and ER.
• There's a new Chowder on Cartoon Network at 8.
• Also at 8: TCM has Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, then The Pink Panther.
• At 8:30, HBO has a new De La Hoya/Pacquiao 24/7.
• At 9, CNN has a new CNN Presents.
• Spike has a new TNA Impact! at 9.
• Cartoon Network has a new Total Drama Island at 9.
• At 10, TLC has a new LA Ink.
• At 10:30, Comedy Central has a new Sarah Silverman Program.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.

Here's who's on the late night talk shows tonight.

• Charlie Rose: TBA
• The Daily Show: RNC coverage
• The Colbert Report: Representative Ron Paul and Adam Brickley and RNC coverage
• The Late Show with David Letterman: Robin Williams, Shannen Doherty, and Duffy
• Jay Leno: Howie Mandel and The Game
• Jimmy Kimmel Live: Aaron Eckhart and Metro Station
• Tavis Smiley: Governor Mike Huckabee
• Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Dr. Phil and Adele
• The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson: Kal Penn and Paulina Porizkova
• Last Call with Carson Daly: Marissa Miller, Jasper Redd, and Ben Harper (repeat)

Here's who's sitting down on the couch on the late night shows.

• Charlie Rose: Former President Bill Clinton
• The Late Show with David Letterman: Justin Timberlake, Martha Stewart, and Maria Sharapova (repeat)
• Jay Leno: Ellen DeGeneres, Fred Willard, and Tony Bennett (repeat)
• Jimmy Kimmel Live: TBA (repeat)
• Tavis Smiley: Stephanie Elam and Rev. Peter Gomes
• Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Chris Tucker, Tori Spelling, and Shiny Toy Guns (repeat)
• The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson: Parker Posey and Ian Hunter (repeat)
• Last Call with Carson Daly: Michael Vartan and Pat Monahan (repeat)

Here's who's sitting down on the couch on the late night shows.

• Charlie Rose: Tom Brokaw
• The Daily Show: Jamie Foxx (repeat)
• The Colbert Report: Lance Armstrong (repeat)
• The Late Show with David Letterman: Angelina Jolie, Jeff Goldblum, and Third Eye Blind (repeat)
• Jay Leno: Kelly Ripa, Simon Cowell, and Liz Phair (repeat)
• Jimmy Kimmel Live: Will Forte, Perez Hilton, and Rilo Kiley (repeat)
• Tavis Smiley: Cesar Millan, Kali Akuno, and Senator Dick Durbin
• Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Wanda Sykes, Nick Offerman, Pamela Anderson, and Hans Klok (repeat)
• The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson: TBA (repeat)
• Last Call with Carson Daly: TBA