TVSquad

ABC's canceled-too-soon Eli Stone is still making gossip headlines weeks after the series finale aired on ... a Saturday night.

Via the Watch with Kristin column over at E! Online, we learn what the writers had planned beyond that last Eli Stone episode ABC aired.

Executive producer and creator Marc Guggenheim dishes about Eli and Maggie, Eli and Grace, the flash-forward in Times Square, Dr. Chen and Nate, Matt and Taylor, Jordan and Taylor's mother, Nate and Maggie (yes, you read right), and much more!

Spoilers(?) coming up!

I won't take all the credit for it. I'm sure plenty of people have blasted Katie Holmes' crappy performance on So You Think You Can Dance this week. Hell, he may not have even read it here, but my narcissism demands that I believe it to be so.

So I'm taking it personally that Nigel Lythgoe is blasting right back ... at all of us! He tried to defend her performance by saying that she's not a dancer. He then says that everyone, including MJ, lip synchs when they dance. Well, which is it, Nigel? Was she or wasn't she dancing? Sure, it was a nice gesture, but it wasn't a good performance by any means.

When Roseanne Barr went out and sang the national anthem, it was a patriotic gesture by a celebrity. It was also terrible. Are we then wrong to say so, Nigel? Does that make us CHILDREN? If "We Are the World" had been little more than awful noise, should we have pretended to love it because it was for a good cause? Plus, you told us it was going to be great.

(S05E19) This was the gala 100th episode celebration of So You Think You Can Dance. As such, we got a nice video montage of the entire series to this point. It was great seeing some familiar faces again, as well as a very few that I actually forgot about. We even got a quick shot of first season host Lauren Sanchez, the Brian Dunkelman of SYTYCD.

GROUP NUMBER
"One," A Chorus Line
(Contemporary, Mia Michaels) Well, I didn't really like that one at all. A bit of a hot mess all over the stage. With the mirrors and camera angles chosen, it was more confusing than anything else.

SPECIAL GUEST
Katie Holmes - "Get Happy"
Well, this will certainly go down as one of the most hyped guest appearances ever on the show. But how did it go?

(S02E02) Well I think we all know what the big to-do was regarding this whole episode: Mrs. Tom Cruise. If she wasn't married to Tom Cruise, I can guarantee you that there wouldn't have been nearly as big of a deal made about a former star of Dawson's Creek appearing on Eli Stone. Certainly she didn't make herself into an international sensation with her performance on Batman Begins. Hell, she was replaced in that for the sequel.

So how did Mrs. Tom Cruise do? Well, I won't say that she brought a whole new level of magic to the show, because it has plenty of that already. But she proved a nice diversion, and not too distracting from the ongoing plotlines. From her opening musical number, in which she performed very well, to the final moments on-screen with Eli, she showed quite a range of talent. Maybe Tom will let her out of the compound more often to get some more acting gigs. She should remind him that's what she did before she became Mrs. Tom Cruise.

There will be some major star power in the new season of Eli Stone. No, I'm not referring to Katie Holmes' stunt casting. I'm talking big-time star wattage. Sigourney Weaver will guest on Eli Stone as a psychologist. Eli, who is in desperate need of figuring out what he's been experiencing is the result of the brain ailment he's suffering from or something else.

Since he had brain surgery -- or so we think -- at season's end, will Eli still have the visions? Will he fulfill the imperative to Live Brave and become a leader -- prophet -- or was that not a look at the future but something else?

It's all very mysterious, and just the fact that he's going to see a shrink is positive development. Casting Sigourney Weaver is a positive as well. She's a three-time Oscar nominee and carries with her innate integrity and class.

The remaining panels on ABC's first day were for Eli Stone, the Ashton Kutcher-produced game show Opportunity Knocks, and a panel for the upcoming Country Music Association events on the network. For the latter panel, Julianne Hough, who has twice partnered with the celebrity champion of Dancing with the Stars, sang a few songs from her current country album. Pretty girl. Nice voice. Dancer's body. But that's all I can say about the panel, because I bolted shortly after she was done singing.

The Eli Stone panel featured the entire cast along with executive producers Greg Berlanti (who seems to be producing two-thirds of ABC's scripted dramas) and Marc Guggenheim. Surprisingly enough, there was only one question about the presence of Katie Holmes as a guest star this season. The reason why she's there is a shock -- they brought her in to get ratings! Will wonders never cease?

Holy crap. Everybody's favorite Scientology war bride, Katie Holmes, has apparently used those perfect chompers of hers to gnaw through her ankle shackles and score an acting gig. Holmes is set to guest star on Eli Stone this fall. Producers are staying mum on any details, but sources say that she is signed up for one episode of the fledgling drama.

Holmes got her big break on TV, playing Joey Potter on the uber-popular teen soap Dawson's Creek. She also had a few impressive turns in movies, such as Pieces of April and Thank You for Smoking before meeting Tom Cruise and taking an extended hiatus from the business.

Holmes also gave up her role in the Batman franchise before dipping her toe back into acting waters with the critically panned Mad Money. She is set to film her episode later this month and then spread her wings further by traveling to New York to star in a revival of Arthur Miller's play, All My Sons.

Katie Holmes is reportedly changing her name to just 'Kate'. That's the name that Tom Cruise has been calling her since he jumped on Oprah's couch, oh, about a year ago. Cruise explained the change in Teen Hollywood, saying, "Katie is a young girl's name. Her name is Kate now that she's a child-bearing woman." Well, she may go by 'Kate' now but her big, toothy grin will always say 'Katie' (or maybe 'Joey' from Dawson's Creek) to me.

Conan O'Brien had a great one-liner about her name change last night: "Next week she's going to dye her hair blonde and join the witness protection program."

Wow, we've made it to numer ten! The format we followed last week worked out great, so we're continuing with it again this week. Some subjects we yack about:

• We've got a couple of clips from Joel's upcoming interview with George Takei. You tell us: does George call William Shatner a loser?
• Some interviews we're persuing soon.
• The Holmes/Cruise baby and the general weirdness of Scientology.
• The Gilmore Girls creators are gone. So, what now?
• Were Parker and Stone high when they wrote the latest South Park?
• An all-Lost Spoilers Anonymous meeting.

Grab the file directly (link), subscribe to our podcast RSS feed (link), or visit the iTunes music store (link).  (Running time: 37:03)

Okay, first of all, let's be fair: Ellen's "exclusive" interview with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? Um, she actually just sort of ran into them – her "old friends" – at CES and cobbled together a small on-the-spot crew for a brainless, 2-minute chat. Because neither Tom nor Katie is inherently interesting on their own, Ellen had to work overtime to stretch the dialogue out to fill the segment. She chose the "name your baby after me" angle:


Ellen: "Have you thought about a Godmother?"
Tom (wearing sunglasses inside and freeze-smiling like an android): "Not yet - are you available?"
Ellen: "Have you thought of a name?
Tom (android laughter): "Not yet."
Ellen: "Ellen."
Tom (more android laughter): "If its a boy?"
Ellen: "Dylan."

Then they just kind of babbled for a long time. Tom said that "Kate" had just learned how to snowboard, and "Kate" said, "Snowmobile", and dipped her head into Tom's neck. Ellen looked on, confused, until Tom changed the subject: "Inside joke."

This was the closest it got to resembling an actual conversation between human beings:

Ellen: "I'm serious about really helping out. How often do babies have to eat?"
Tom: "I think it's a couple of times a week?"

So, all in all, pretty crazy-free, and as such, thoroughly disappointing. But Ellen fans would still be well served by tuning in – at the end of the show, she bumps-and-grinds with the Pussycat Dolls, and it's totally worth the wait.

• Everything you need to know about this issue of Inside TV is right smack dab on the cover!
• There's a rundown on everything that TomKat has been up to lately (with photos!), in a title that sums it all up nicely: "Crazy In Love."
• Matt Lauer: How he keeps his marriage sexy. Oh God.
• The 24 Diet. Yup, that's right, a diet plan based on the FOX show. This has "let's try to tie this article to a TV show somehow" written all over it. Read it and you'll say "what the hell does this have to do with 24, except for doing things at a certain time?" Some of the tips: 8 am, eat 5 egg whites. 9am, glass of water. 11 am, glass of water. Noon, a large vegetable salad. 1pm, 2 glasses of water. 4pm, two sticks of sugarless gum. 8 pm, floss and brush. 9 pm, rent a DVD...unless it's Monday, then you should watch 24. Ah, there's the connection! (What, no exercise tip that says "6pm: get tortured, then beat up bad guys?") I suggest the Lost diet: eat nothing but fruit and fish for 40 days. For exercise, outrun invisible monsters and evil kidnappers.
• Inside TV "finds" Erin Murphy, Tabitha from Bewitched. Which couldn't have been too hard, considering she's been in the public eye for the past 20 years and is currently doing a ton of press for the new movie.