TVSquad

The only way Fox will air President Obama's prime time address next Wednesday will be if he joins the glee club. No, seriously, if the Prez could sing or dance with the kids at McKinley High School on the new Fox series, Glee, he'd have a better chance of getting air time than he does as the Commander in Chief. Fox is not expected to show President Obama's address to Congress.

Fox has already shown an unwillingness to interrupt prime time for President Obama. Back in March, the network chose not to air a press conference. To be honest, Obama has been on TV a lot more than President George W. Bush. All that prime time real estate is expensive, and the networks have squawked about how often Obama has requested the air time.

As a member of the media elite, I tend to run in some pretty impressive circles. Some days it's a Yankees game with Lorne Michaels, Fergie, and Jason Hervey. Others, it's World of Warcraft with Michael Keaton and Val Kilmer (hint for dealing with those two: do NOT wonder aloud who the best Batman of the '90s was).

Obviously, writing a bi-weekly column that has readership literally in the hundreds carries with it a lot of perks. But it's not all fun and games. My place as America's foremost pop culture commentator ("It's like Chuck Klosterman and Andy Warhol had a baby!" reads the blurb I'll ask my editor to put on my book should I ever write one) means that my inbox is constantly being spammed by other members of the media asking for advice.

Instead of answering those emails privately, like good manners and the explicit instructions of many of the emails demand, I figured I'd share both the emails and their answers with you, my loyal readers...

If you're like me, then you're still reeling from the big shocker that happened in last night's episode of House. I spent the entire episode with my mouth hanging wide open, just sputtering, "what?" over and over again. After the episode ended, my boyfriend and I spent a good half an hour arguing about what really happened. Was House's theory correct, or was it just wishful thinking?

I thought the episode made it pretty clear, but there was definitely an element of ambiguity when it ended. Today, House executive producers David Shore, Katie Jacobs and, uh, a certain actor from House, held a conference call to answer some of our burning questions, like, you know, "what the hell?"

(S5E15) "You're a wuss. Part wimp, part puss." -House to Wilson

We get yet another religious patient this week. Father Danny, who is running low on the big F, ends up in Cameron's ER after getting a late-night visit from Jesus. House initially grabs the case as a way to mess with Foreman and Thirteen, but it turns out that Father Danny might have a real problem.

We've explored religion before on House, but this one of the times when it hasn't worked so well. Father Danny's lack of faith is a good opportunity for Taub and Kutner to engage in a philosophical debate, about God, faith and the nature of suffering, but this all feels like ground the show has covered before.

(S5E13) "What's going on with everyone today?" -Kutner
"It involves House, Foreman and Thirteen which means it's either dumb, dangerous or tragic..."-Taub

Is House actually becoming a nice guy? One of the most interesting things about this episode was the absence of his trademark jerkiness. Whether he was dealing with an upset Cuddy or trying his best to counsel a disbelieving Foreman, House not only seemed sympathetic, but empathetic as well. I was surprised by the genuine concern he showed for Thirteen and Foreman during the blindness scare and his willingness to be Cuddy's whipping boy.

Again, the patient of the week wasn't very memorable to me. I find myself not even really caring about them aside from how their illness will reflect the doctor's personal problems. That conceit has gotten so obvious it's hard too look past it and see the patient's as real people who are suffering. Is anyone else having this problem?

(S05E12) Last spring, I went to hear Ira Glass give a talk about his popular NPR radio (and now TV) show This American Life. He outlined the formula for the show's success, and he also talked about House. Websites have documented the formula for every episode: Every episode is essentially the same. So, why does it work every time? Last night, I was hooked by Emmy the trainer rolling down stairs, and I was then hooked by the discovery of her surgery. I know that every single diagnosis and test and treatment is going to be bunk until the big, strange reveal at the end. However, it's almost like I am the same as House with my need to know what that weird reveal is going to be.

(S04E16) "Her heart won't stop racing. No idea what's causing it." Doctor in inferior hospital.
"Are you sure it wasn't the bus that landed on her?" House.

The season finale of House packed a wallop. I let my Tivo get ahead of my watching it so I wouldn't have to see the commercials, and I had barely begun the episode when my next-door neighbor burst into my living room exclaiming, "Have you seen House???" We barely had time to hit the pause button while yelling at her to leave and leave quickly without saying anything. But that is the kind of impact this kind of episode has. The season finale, which started last week, covered a bus-load of big themes: fear, wish-fulfillment, anger, risk-taking, the nature of friendship, remorse, and love. The episode was written by four writers, including producer David Foster: that was one of my first clues that this episode was going to be significant. They called in the big guns.

[S04E14] "You don't deserve to be happy." House to Wilson.
"And yet I am. You?" Wilson to House

House treats the symptoms, but he doesn't treat the whole person. He doesn't even claim to. He often makes a clear point that he doesn't care. House likes medicine because he likes to solve puzzles, and what greater consequences can a puzzle have than a human life? But ultimately, even someone dying doesn't matter unless House can't figure out the puzzle.

So, if the above paragraph is true, then why does House go out of his way to kidnap a soap opera star he believes to be dying in order to save his life? Is it really because he can't stand the idea of not watching his soap? I don't think so; he even encourages angsty actor Evan Greer (Sex and the City's Jason Lewis) to quit if he's not happy... well, sort of. But, back to the question: If House doesn't care, then why bother? Because it's a puzzle he can see daily, right in front of him, and he has to solve it. Apparently he has made multiple calls about it, because the actor knows who House is, so House simply takes matters into his own hands because that is what House does. House lives a life without consequences.

Three out, five in. With the resignations of Doctors Eric Foreman and Alison Cameron and the firing of Doctor Robert Chase during the third season finale of House there isn't really anyone that Gregory House can abuse anymore. Don't despair, though, because five new actors are joining the cast of the FOX medical procedural for House to play with like a puppy's chew toy mold into fine healers.

Being added for the fourth season (which begins on September 25th) are Olivia Wilde (The Black Donnellys), Kal Penn (24, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle), Peter Jacobson (The Starter Wife, Transformers), Anne Dudek (Big Day, Bones) and Edi Gathegi (Lincoln Heights). They will all be in recurring roles for a undetermined amount of episodes; however, I have a feeling if one of their characters clicks with the viewing public they may be promoted to full-time status.

Kal Penn, best known for playing Kumar in the flick Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, is going to be hanging around the University of Pennsylvania campus next spring. And not to search for the perfect American meal, Philly-style.

Penn, who just wrapped Harold & Kumar 2 and was most recently seen on TV playing a teenaged terrorist on 24, will be teaching two courses tentatively named, "Images of Asian Americans in the Media" and "Contemporary American Teen Films," according to a UPenn press release, which said his real name is Kalpen Modi.