TVSquad

• At 8, PBS has a new NOW, followed by a new Washington Week.
• ABC has a repeat America's Funniest Home VIdeos, followed by new episodes of Primetime and 20/20.
• CBS has Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer at 8, followed by Frosty the Snowman, Frosty Returns, and a repeat Numb3rs.
• There's a new 1 vs. 100 on NBC at 8, followed by new eps of Las Vegas and Law and Order.
• FOX has a new Justice at 8, then a new Trading Spouses.
• The CW has a new Friday Night Smackdown! at 8.
• ABC Family has The Polar Express at 8.
• USA has The Bourne Identity at 8.
• Also at 8: Sci-Fi has a new Doctor Who, then a new Battlestar Galactica.
• At 9, Rachael Ray goes to New York City on a repeat $40 A Day, then goes back to New York City on a repeat Tasty Travels. They're followed by a new Paula's Party.
• TLC has a new Man vs. Wild at 9, followed by a new I Shouldn't Be Alive.
• Hallmark has A Christmas Visitor at 9.
• Showtime has a new Masters of Horror at 10.

• At 8, PBS has a new NOW, followed by a new Washington Week.
• ABC has The Polar Express at 8, followed by a new 20/20.
• CBS has Ice Wars 2006: The USA vs. The World at 8, which is either ice skating or some futuristic video game.
• There's a new 1 vs. 100 on NBC at 8 (with Kevin Federline!), followed by a new, two hour Las Vegas.
• FOX has a new Justice at 8, followed by a new Trading Spouses.
• The CW has a new Smackdown! at 8.
• Food Network has Emeril's "Happy Happy Holidays" show at 8, followed by Christmas in America (with Rachael Ray, who hasn't been on TV enough lately, no) and a new Paula's Party.
• Also at 8: Sci-Fi has a new Doctor Who, then a new Battlestar Galactica.
• At 9, Lifetime has the Christmas movie Noel, with Penelope Cruz and Susan Sarandon.
• TNT has the 2006 NASCAR Nextel Cup Series Awards at 9.
• At 10, Fox Movie Channel has The Three Faces of Eve.

• At 8, ABC has The CMA Awards.
• CBS has a new How I Met Your Mother at 8, followed by new episodes of The Class, Two and a Half Men, Old Christine, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has new eps of Deal Or No Deal, Heroes, and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
• There's a new Prison Break on FOX at 8, then a new Justice.
• The CW has a new Everybody Hates Chris at 8, then new episodes of All Of Us, Girlfriends, and The Game.
• Lifetime has a new Lisa Williams: Life Among The Dead at 8, followed by the new movie To Have and To Hold.
• Emeril cooks up "A Taste of Rome" on Food Network at 8.
• At 9, PBS has a new American Experience, "The Gold Rush."
• Discovery has a new American Chopper at 9.
• Also at 9: GNS has a new High Stakes Poker.
• At 10, Food Network has a new The Secret Life Of..., focusing on cowboy food.
• Sci-Fi is showing a Threshold marathon all night.

• At 8, ABC has a repeat Grey's Anatomy, followed by a repeat Men In Trees and a new 20/20.
• CBS has a new Ghost Whisperer at 8, followed by new episodes of Close To Home and Numb3rs.
• NBC has a new Deal Or No Deal at 8, followed by new eps of Dateline and Law and Order.
• There's a repeat Justice on FOX at 8, followed by a new Celebrity Duets.
• The CW has a new Friday Night Smackdown! at 8.
• AMC has The Day The Earth Stood Still at 8.
• Sci-Fi has a Doctor Who marathon all night.
• At 9:30, Food Network has a new Tasty Travels where Rachael Ray goes to Washington, D.C.

The new FOX hostage negotiation drama Standoff has stopped production for a week, but not because the show is being shelved. It's actually a "writer's break," so they can get caught up (since they start the new season before the other networks) and new consulting producer Tim Minear comes on board to help out.

So, those of you who had Standoff in our contest can stop jumping up and down now and go back to watching television.

As predicted, CBS won the first Wednesday of the new season, with strong numbers for both Criminal Minds at 9 and CSI: NY at 10.

ABC won the 8pm time slot with Dancing With The Stars (side note: does it amaze anyone else that this show and all reality shows are still doing so well? Kinda makes me ill). At 10, CSI: NY beat out a Grey's Anatomy repeat and the debut of Kidnapped, which got a 5.1 rating/8 share (translation: NBC can't be happy about those numbers). Too bad. I think Kidnapped is a cool show.

For you Jericho fans: it came in second in the 8pm slot, while the CW's America's Next Top Model somehow got more viewers and a better demographic than FOX's Justice (though Justice had a higher rating - however that works).

• At 8, ABC has a new Dancing With The Stars.
• CBS has the series premiere of Jericho at 8, followed by the season premieres of Criminal Minds and CSI: NY.
• FOX has a new Bones at 8, followed by a new Justice.
• NBC has the two hour season premiere of The Biggest Loser at 8, followed by the series premiere of Kidnapped.
• The CW Network makes it's bow with the two hour season premiere of America's Next Top Model at 8.
• MyTV has a new Desire at 8, followed by a new Fashion House.
• At 10, Food Network has a new Good Eats.
• Discovery has a new Stunt Junkies at 10.
• There's a new Criss Angel Mindfreak at 10 on A&E.
• Also at 10: HBO has a new Inside the NFL.

Matthew Gilbert has an interesting article in The Boston Globe, about the new season of shows and how TV shows are now more complicated than ever (but that's a good thing). Not just returning shows like 24 and Lost, but new complex series like DayBreak, Kidnapped, and Vanished.

One page that the print edition of the Globe has that the web site doesn't (at least I couldn't find it) is Gilbert's grades for all the new shows. Quick summary: he thinks the best new shows are The Nine, Studio 60, Heroes, Six Degrees, Smith, The Knights of Prosperity, and Justice. The worst are Happy Hour, Twenty Good Years, and Help Me Help You.

As per the norm of FOX over the last few years, the fourth network (which has been around for almost, gasp, 20 years), will jump out of the starting gate earlier than the other networks with fall season premieres. This is done to give new and returning shows time to build up steam before Major League Baseball takes the stage in early October with playoffs and the World Series.

The new season will begin on Monday, August 21st with the second season premiere of Prison Break and the introduction of the new drama Vanished. On Wednesday, August 30th, Bones will enter its second season, along with new lawyer-drama Justice. Duets, the series that pairs singing stars with celebrities outside the music world, will have its 2-hour premiere a day later. House will step into its third season on Tuesday, September 5th.

The complete listing of premieres can be viewed at Zap2it.com. Save a copy of it, folks, because I'm sure the schedule will change during the first week of premieres, then again after the World Series, then again during the NFL post-season, and then once more when the juggernaut we know as American Idol premieres in January. By the time 2007 rolls around you may just see some of the shows now listed as entries in our 'Short-Lived Shows' category.

(S02E04) Last night's episode mostly took place in the 18th century, with Chauncey taking on the role of the master of a plantation and his fellow puppets all serving as his slaves. Things start to get out of hand, however, when Him becomes a cyborg slave, able to bale hay, whitewash a barn, and whip other slaves with greater efficiency. Chauncey loves his new robotic slave, but when his young Southern bride puts the moves on Him, the new robo-slave is charged with rape. In a hilarious court room sequence, Sthugar, the young bride, blatantly admits she was lying about the rape, but they continue with the trial anyway. This became the main part of the episode, and one of the funniest, most absurd takes on race relations in the United States I've ever seen. A monkey who evolves into itself with a hat made of licorice, Chauncey having sex with the Bible, and a visit from God in the form of a banana were just a few of the things that popped up during the hearing.