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America's Next Top Model: How Short Can You Go / The Early Bird Gets A Makeover (season premiere)

Rachel Echelberger channels her childhood photo
(S13E01/S13E02) America's Next Top Model
's casting special has always been a little ironic because all the contestants have been revealed on the official CW website. Nonetheless, the girls arrived at a hotel to be sorted. Instantly, we're given a snarky gay man who takes the girls' names. He never shows up after that scene.

Tyra wants to make sure that short models get a chance this year as she looks for the next petite model. None of the girls are taller than 5'7", but to give all of the girls a shot, none of the short girls are plus-sized.

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: How Short Can You Go / The Early Bird Gets A Makeover (season premiere)

America's Next Top Model cycle thirteen -- An early look

Nicole Fox, the outcasted modelFor the thirteenth season of America's Next Top Model nothing really has changed. The girls stand even less of a chance of being a successful model this season because of their well-advertised height deficit. Fans of the show will find the same exact program since ANTM has been part of the CW lineup. I guess after twelve cycles, it's inevitable that we'd see a lot of the same.

Top Model will also be emphasizing the word "petite" for the height-challenged girls. There are points of bad overdubbing where the Jays voiced over the word "petite" because they didn't originally use it. If this season does well, it may become the catalyst for "America's Next Top Plus-Sized Model."

Continue reading America's Next Top Model cycle thirteen -- An early look

America's Next Top Model: And the Winner Is... (season finale)

The final three.

(S10E13) The above screencap is the photographic equivalent of a horizontal suck sandwich.

Okay, that's not entirely accurate. The photos of Whitney and Anya are perfectly fine, but my hatred for the individual in the center pretty much taints the picture for me.

And in a broader sense, that's been the overarching flaw with cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model.

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: And the Winner Is... (season finale)

America's Next Top Model: Ready for My Close-Up

It's the final four.

(S10E12)
This cycle of America's Top Model has made me want to start up a debilitating heroin addiction.

Week after week my favorites have flown out the door starting with the "excitable" Amis and ending with that travesty of an episode two weeks ago when the distractingly beautiful Kataryzna was yanked for "too being vapid." My words, not theirs.

I can't seem to figure out what the hell the judges are looking for this go around, but I sure can tell you what they got. Want to hear it? Here it goes.

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Ready for My Close-Up

America's Next Top Model: Viva Italia!

Anya takes a spill.

(S10E10) I accidentally went through last weeks entire recap without a single mention of Lauren going straight Ginsu on her thumb.

I figured I shouldn't make the same mistake two weeks in a row so decided to intro with Anya's faceplant on a brick street..

We heard the requisite record play scratch immediately after she fell. We got Anya's diary room explanation of how it went down (literally). And we got to watch one girl out of five turn around and help Anya pry her mandible from the ground.

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Viva Italia!

America's Next Top Model: For Those About to Walk, We Salute You

Dominique is not cute.

(S10E09)
Now, I don't want to come off as too harsh or insensitive, but if Dominique is the first thing I see when an episode of America's Next Top Model begins, I usually do a double take to make sure I didn't accidentally hit play on my Gremlins 2 DVD.

Some say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I say Dominique's eyes be holding no beauty.

They say the eyes are the window to the soul. I say Domique's windows have vacancy signs tacked on the panes.

Some say an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. I say, I would gladly gouge out both of my eyes with a worn tooth if I have to look at her just a week longer.

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: For Those About to Walk, We Salute You

America's Next Top Model: If You Can't Make It Here, You Can't Make It Anywhere

Dominique is hot like glacier.

(S10E07)
I cracked open my laptop and stared blankly at the screen for a good 30 minutes trying to muster up the will to write four to five paragraphs that ranted and raved about how much I love Fatimanique.

Nothing came to me, so I cracked open a bible hoping that the good book would remove the hate from my heart, and grant me the ability to look past their demonic facades and love them like normal human beings should be loved.

It didn't work, so I cracked open a Stella Artois hoping that some Belgium malt liquor would provide me with the liquid strength necessary to force my mind into pretending I gave a crap about these two medieval gargoyles.

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: If You Can't Make It Here, You Can't Make It Anywhere

Top Model gossip: Tyra's hatin' everyone

tyra banksAmerica's Next Top Model fans might've noticed that Tyra behaved a little cool toward fellow judge Nigel Barker last night. She forgot that one of the contestants won a photo shoot with him, and didn't really seem interested in how it went. This flippant attitude might be because she's (allegedly) not liking him so much these days. The Scoop over at MSNBC is reporting that Tyra is not getting along with a majority of the people on the show. According to the article, she's especially peeved with creative director Jay Manuel, who is in charge of all the models' photo shoots.

The article goes so far as to suggest that Tyra is going to leave the show in order to focus on her talk show, where she has booked mega guests such as presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

*Hey, look! Us magazine says the rumors are untrue!

Continue reading Top Model gossip: Tyra's hatin' everyone

America's Next Top Model: House of Pain

Aimee doesn't have any model experience.

(S10E06) To be perfectly honest, I haven't paid a whole lot of attention to Aimee this season.

I mean look at her in the capture above. The waterfall or the buildings behind her have just as good a chance at capturing your attention as she does.

She's pretty nondescript to say the least and while she's a pretty girl and everything, she just hadn't done very much to stand out this season aside from profess her anxiety of being naked around other women. I'm not ashamed to admit I find that to be a turn-off.

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: House of Pain

America's Next Top Model: Top Model Takes It to the Streets

Fatima is going to win!

(S10E05)
We're down to 10 girls on this cycle of America's Next Top Model, and my strategy to root for the models I least want to win is in full effect.

I'm currently supporting Dominique and Fatima with the hopes that they make it to the final two and I have to admit it's really painful having to do this.

I cringe every time I hear Dominique refer to herself in the third person. I gag every time Fatima talks about how ghetto or stupid another girl is. I cringe and gag having any positive thoughts about them, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the models I really want to win.

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Top Model Takes It to the Streets

America's Next Top Model: Where's the Beef?

Amis is a cutie.

(S10E04)
I have a confession to make. I've developed a bit of a crush on Amis.

It's not the psychotic plant-a-GPS-transponder-on-her-car-and-stalk-her crush that you might see on an episode of Dateline or anything. I've simply grown fond of her goofy personality.She's got a real every-girl appeal about her and she's not the typical kind of model that you see coming on this show. I find her pretty refreshing. If Amis were to read this, I'm sure she'd find what I wrote slightly disturbing.

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Where's the Beef?

America's Next Top Model: Top Model Makeovers

Allison hates the other girls.

(S10E03) "Oh my God, I'm getting so annoyed with all of these girls!" - Allison

The full quote was too long to put here in the intro. Allison went on to say that she wants to strangle all of the other girls on regular basis and that she's not really threatened by any of them. Allison is convinced that she's light years ahead of everyone else thanks to all the experience she's had modeling in her lengthy 19 years of life.

While Allison is an extremely pretty girl, she's just got to go! The I'm-so-much-better-than-these-other-girls attitude she's been displaying since day one pretty much makes her the ugliest girl on the show, and that's saying a lot with Dominique still in the running. Can I get an "oh snap"?

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Top Model Makeovers

America's Next Top Model: New York City, Here We Come

Dominique puling back her hair.
(S10E02) I'm still a bit shocked that Tyra went through all the trouble of opening up the competition to 14 girls this season and out of everyone she could have selected, she went with Dominique.

I mean, I admit that Dominique is a little bit exotic looking, but so were the baboons I saw the last time I went to the zoo. Umm, that came out wrong. That was horribly insulting to all the innocent baboons of the world. I take it back.

I kid, I kid. Dominique isn't that unattractive, I just don't think she was the right choice for this competition. It almost seems like the only reason she's there is so the judges can crack drag queen jokes about her all episode long.

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: New York City, Here We Come

America's Next Top Model: Welcome to Top Model Prep (season premiere)

Cycle 10 premiere.

(S10E01)
It seems like only yesterday I was making fun of the "corpse bride" Jenah's slightly crooked teeth, and Victoria's all too annoying superiority complex during cycle 9 of America's Next Top Model.

While I'll miss the crazy group of girls we had last year, I'm absolutely thrilled that I've got a whole new group of people to poke fun at with cycle 10.

Gallery: America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 Gallery

Anya, Lauren, Stacy-Ann, Kataryzna, Whitney, and Dominique Shoot 7AimeeAimee Shoot 1Aimee Shoot 2Aimee Shoot 3

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Welcome to Top Model Prep (season premiere)

Cycle 10 finalists of America's Next Top Model revealed

Cycle 10 Models Revealed

We're more than a month away from the cycle 10 premiere of America's Next Top Model, but it's never too early to get a little taste of what the next season will bring, right?

Of course not, and that's why I'm thankful The CW was kind enough to release the names of this cycles 14 finalists and a sparse number of details about the season.

Click onward to get a brief glimpse of the 14 catty women who will bite, claw, and accost their way to a $100,000 modeling deal with CoverGirl and a six-page fashion spread in Seventeen magazine.

Continue reading Cycle 10 finalists of America's Next Top Model revealed

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