TVSquad

Most prime time network shows have a chain of command that would make the Pentagon look like a PTA board.

There's the writers who send their scripts to the show runners who then have to filter their changes through the director who send them to the producer where it's thumbed through and sent to a group of picky censors and so on and so on. Ninety offices later, the script is finally ready for shooting, even though the story went from a quirky drama about a lawyer who represents illegal immigrants to a sci-fi epic about mutant leeches who suck out astronauts' brains through their nostrils.

But actor Jaleel White has found a place in Hollywood where the usual studio aristocracy has been thrown away in the name of freedom and simplicity: the Internet.

"I'm so excited about it because I don't need to go to an executive now," White said in a recent phone interview. "Our focus group is America."

I need everyone to take a deep breath and calm down. For some reason a rumor has been circulating around the internet that Jaleel White, who played the nerdy-but-lovable Urkel on the TGIF staple Family Matters, committed suicide anywhere between December, 2005 and last month. An alleged Associated Press report stated that White left a suicide note with his former catchphrase "Did I do that?" next to his body. A picture of a gentleman that was supposed to look like Jaleel (except with shaved head. See right) was connected to the story. These rumors eventually reached us here at TV Squad central.

Well, folks, it isn't Jaleel. So, you can all breathe a sigh of relief. It's all a hoax that began at the end of 2005 and, for some reason, popped up again recently. In fact, he recently appeared in an episode of 24 according to iMDb.

So, before you build the makeshift memorials, and have Family Matters parties to commemorate the life of Jaleel White, please go to museumofhoaxes for proof that Urkel is alive and well.

[Bless Von for the time-saving tip]

UPDATE: Folks, your hopes and prayers for Jaleel have not gone unanswered. We were able to get in touch with Mr. White and this is what he had to say:

I'm very much alive and well. Thank you to all who have chosen to spread the truth about my mortality.

Jaleel

One day, while I was performing an inventory of my bird flu supplies and listening to a news story about the continuing rise of gas prices, a question of the utmost importance came to me. It was so world-shattering that I stopped counting the tunafish and powdered milk; stopped worrying about ten dollar-a-gallon gas. All I wanted to know was the answer to one question and one question only...

Where's Urkel?