TVSquad

(S21E05) I've been waiting all season for this episode. As a long-lapsed fan of The Simpsons, it was beginning to look like someone had sucked the heart right out of Springfield's first family. Maybe they have, for the most part, but everything that made The Simpsons such a great show 20 years ago was there tonight.

Maybe it was that we finally got to see Mr. Burns again; he was always my favorite. Yes, he only had a bit part, and in fact the part of maniacal boss was played by Carl instead of Burns, but his presence set up the stories of the entire episode. I'll go so far as to say everything about that episode worked, from Marge's sexy calendar to Ned Flander's role in the final moments.

Even the brief encounters with Bart at school fed the main story, and were handled perfectly. This is what The Simpsons is capable of, and despite a few moments that were a bit more crass than I recall the Simpsons of yore being, it was classic Simpsons all over again.

(S21E03) "Call me a killjoy, but I think that because this is not to my taste, no one else should be able to enjoy it!" --Marge Simpson on Ultimate Punching

I'm not a fan of Ultimate Fighting, though I think that other people should be able to watch it, if they're so inclined. But it is an all too common stance among watchdog groups, including mothers, sympathetic school officials and the clergy, as Nelson so kindly pointed out. Of course, this has been going on for years, but it was still a clever enough send-up of the problem.

Maybe it's because I don't find Marge to be one of the funnier characters on the show and this episode focused on her, so there weren't as many funny moments in the main storylines. Luckily, there were plenty of side characters and moments to spotlight.

Gadgets have always fascinated me. And it's not because of what you can do with them. It's what you CAN'T do with them. The day my microwave can cook my dinner, then feed it to me while it's cleaning my toilet, de-crumbing the toaster, and doing my taxes is the day my interest in gadgets dies.

The most impressive aspects of gadgetry are how much you can customize them to fit your taste and personality. Just a few years ago, having a Dilbert screen saver that didn't send your hard drive into an epileptic fit was the epitome of "personal" computing.

Now you can change the way it looks from every angle, the way it thinks, and even the way it talks. TomTom unveiled a new voice skin for their GPS devices. Now Homer Simpson, the actual voice of Homer Simpson voiced by Dan Castellanetta, can guide you to locations and it doesn't have to be a dispensery of donuts.

I can vividly remember a time when The Simpsons was the hot new show that every parent had to keep away from their kids or Child Protective Services would show up and take them away. So every time I see the newest thing that The Simpsons are on this week, I can feel myself aging.

I love The Simpsons. It has been my all time favorite show as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end, amen. So I have to have the coolest Simpsons stuff. But every time I see Bart on a TV shirt, I can feel my hair turning gray and thinner.

I've often heard from married guys that the best way to test your loved one's love is to change the wedding plans at the last minute to something completely outrageous. I'm assuming they mean an idea more outrageous than marriage.

If you're a football fan, tell them you want a cake in the shape of Dick Butkus' head -- or John Madden, if you've got more than 100 people. If you're a Star Trek fan, tell your bride you want a Mr. Spock impersonator as your best man who will say in his toast, "After today, I now understand this human emotion called love."

The whole thing sounds like a foolproof escape plan, which would explain why married guys are the ones who keep thinking of it. But for one groom who is organizing a Simpsons themed wedding, it seems to have either backfired or fulfilled his deepest dream.

(S19E20) "Applause is an addiction, like heroin or checking your e-mail." -- Sideshow Mel

Well, another season of The Simpsons has come to an end. As with the last few seasons some stuff was good, some was okay, and the rest should have gone back to the Writers' Room for further revision ("Treehouse of Horror", anyone?). Most of the weak stuff landed in the first half of the season for some reason -- maybe everyone was tired from the completion of The Simpsons Movie. The second half picked up steam, thanks to some solid episodes featuring Lisa and Bart.

Luckily, The Simpsons ended on a strong note with the Lisa-centric season finale. Once again going back to the on-going theme of how success can corrupt Lisa, we were treated to an episode featuring her turn to work with the famous Krusty the Clown. I say 'her turn' because older brother Bart had worked for Krusty in the past. And, like Bart, Lisa usurped Krusty's fame to become the star of the show.

You would think Krusty would have learned his lesson.

I went to Universal Studios in Hollywood on Saturday for the revealing of The Simpsons Ride. Celebs walked the "yellow" carpet. The mayor welcomed the crowds and led the countdown. A human cannonball was shot into the air. And a yellow sheet dropped to reveal a 32-foot Krusty the Clown face at the entrance to the attraction.

Despite the launch being for The Simpsons, there were hardly any members of the cast there on the yellow carpet. Kelsey Grammer (Sideshow Bob) was there along with creator Matt Groening and producer James L. Brooks but no other voice talents were anywhere to be found. See who I talked to and read more about the ride unveiling after the jump.

(S19E19)"Mom, I can't believe you're here! You keep disappearing and reappearing and it's not funny! You're just like that show Scrubs" -- Homer to his mother after her unexpected return.

Over the past few Sundays this space has been reserved for deeper looks into The Simpsons. Despite the fact that it is an animated series there is usually an underlying base of themes, emotions, and psychoanalytical analysis that takes place amongst the Simpson family and those around them. In fact, one 22-minute episode can contain many layers of subtext that define each character further.

This week, though, not so much of that. What we may have thought to be a sweet story about the return of Homer's mother turned out to be a huge joke fest. Well, actually more a joke fest during the second half of the show than the first half. The first half was actually kind of sad as Homer couldn't take one more of Mona Simpson's promises that she had stopped running from the government and was now ready to devote her time to Homer and his family. The second half was a totally different Simpsons episode.

(S19E17) "Sorry, Lise. I can't be a vegetarian. I love the taste of death." -- Bart Simpson

Another Bart-centric episode, which means another decent installment of The Simpsons. It's unfortunate that these types of episodes couldn't have been dispersed more evenly throughout the season. This would have made for a less Homer-centric run of shows during the first half of the year -- something that many fans (or maybe just me) were expressing concern about.

I guess if Venezuela had a choice, it would be David Hasselhoff over Homer Simpson. A Venezuelan TV channel has yanked episodes of The Simpsons from their network with the reasoning that the show is "inappropriate for children." It's replacement? Baywatch: Hawaii.

The show was being broadcast at 11 A.M. daily. My first question is: shouldn't the kids be in school in the first place? Granted, I'm unaware of how the Venezuelan school system works. Probably not very well if the kids are home at 11 A.M.

(S19E15) "I'm not a nerd. I'm a jock who's too cool for sports." -- Bart Simpson

From the outside, the Family Simpson comprises a group of people who go from one wacky adventure to another. Yet, when you go beneath their four-fingered exteriors, each member of the family is actually fighting their own little battle. For Bart it's the fight against the establishment; for Marge it's finding order withing the disorder of her life; for Maggie it's getting through an entire day on one pacifier; and for Homer it is the philosophical dilemma of whether or not death brings forth life or life brings on death. That, or just trying to get between breakfast and lunch without starving to death...it really depends on the day.

(S19E14) "Oh boy, dinnertime! The perfect break between work and drunk." -- Homer J. Simpson

Before I get to the review as a whole for this week's installment of The Simpsons I want to talk about one of the most disturbing scenes that has ever graced this program. It involves Homer, who is breaking his one millionth diet or something. In one scene he's shown entering a room of a sleazy motel with what looks like another woman. Turns out it's just a rack of meat (I think it was lamb, I couldn't hear Homer) dripping in its own juices. He then goes about treating the meat like a lover, sucking on the juices, caressing it, and even bringing it to the shower with him. I was in total agreement with the host of Sneakers -- the fictitious television show that was a parody of the real-life show Cheaters -- when he asked the guys in the control truck to turn the hidden cameras off. Brrr!

Other than that, this was a pretty good episode.

(S19E13)"Young man, I'm going to be on you like a numerator on a denominator" -- Principal Skinner to Donny the informant

It's been a looong time since we had an episode of The Simpsons that focused on that young rapscallion Bart and his status of Prankmaster at Springfield Elementary. Frankly, I was starting to get a bit worried that we wouldn't see one at all this season and that all we would get is one episode after another focusing on Homer and his hi-jinks. Luckily, someone at FOX or the offices of The Simpsons realized this and gave us an installment that not only reignited the feud between Bart and Principal Skinner, but parodied the Martin Scorsese film The Departed. Plus, it was actually a good episode.

(S19E09) The capital of Montana is not "Hannah" -- Bart's Blackboard Gag

Since they have plenty of time on their hands now, I'd like to take a moment and speak to the scheduling executives over at FOX.

What the hell are you doing? You don't have a new episode of The Simpsons for three weeks and then, out of the blue, you pop a new one into the schedule just for poops and giggles. Yes, you'll grab the people who have this programmed into their DVRs, but what about those few remaining lost souls who still use paper, pencil and their memory to remind them that this week's episode of The Simpsons is brand new. Those are the viewers you are going to miss. So, perhaps in the future you should just stop programming new episodes into the December schedule and just start again in January, or whenever American Idol frees up a spot for you.

Thank you. Now, to your requests and dedications.

(S19E06) After a month of Homer and Marge-centric episodes (I don't count 'Treehouse of Horror' stories because they take place outside of The Simpsons continuity. Don't laugh!) we finally get one focusing on the Simpson kids and their friends. In this case the spotlight is on one Milhouse Van Houten. This is not the first time Milhouse has been featured in an episode. In fact, he's probably the only other kid on The Simpsons that has had more than one show focus on him. Remember the 'Radioactive Man' episode waaayyyy back in the seventh season?

This is most likely due to his friendship with Bart. Because they have been so closely linked since the very first episodes of the series Milhouse has been given a richer backstory than, say, Martin.We know about his unrequited love for Lisa, his affair with Samantha Stanky, and the break-up (and subsequent get-together) of his parents.Actually, the pending nuptials of Kirk and Luann were part of the plot for this week's episode.